♥Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V6♥

[S3raphinX]

I have this friend, hes a boy and he told me that he used to crush on me and still did a little. But everytime we planned on hanging, there was always something else in my schedule (?). So we went from talking alot to almost never talk, and i think he thought that i dont like him, and that i friendzoned him.. The thing is that i think i like him and wannna spend more time with him, but i dont know how to tell him. When we talk we tell eachother everything, no secrets, but i dont have the guts to tell him this.. what should i do? Anyone have some tips for me??

[Kisiel]

Can I just say that this thread makes me miss my high school days when you had crushes on people and all the drama and stuff that came with it. I would love to experience that little heart flutter at least one more time, and the anticipation of "will he ask me out" or having your friends wind you up about who you're crushing on. Ahh good old times. Im probably just thinking of this now because one of my high school crushes has his birthday soon lol

I came out of a long term relationship earlier in the year and I've just not been interested in being with anyone at all since then - even though I met a really nice guy and I like him a lot. I met my ex partner when I was still in high school actually (he was at college), finished school and went to higher education while he finished college and got a job. I'm in my 20s now and have spend a good few years with him. A good chunk of my life really, I'm not talking a year or two... We had a house together, we had pets together and plans for the future but it just didn't work out. Understandably we needed some time apart after the breakup but we're now very good friends. He tells me about the dates he goes on and I let him know when my family asks about him. He comes over sometimes to spend some time with me and say hello to the animals, and there's no hard feelings between us. I honestly wish him the best and hope he is happy.

ANYWAY. My question is, after being fully committed to someone for so long, how can I convince myself to let someone in again? This guy I met is so lovely, I really enjoy his company and I know he's interested but I just don't know. Part of me wants to just go for it and see what happens but I have my doubts. It doesn't help that we pretty much act like a couple at this point either, but we're not if that makes sense.

[xycaetc]

I need a bit of help here.

Someone I'm good friends with online but I don't know irl has confessed that they have a crush on me. I find them really nice but considering I don't know them properly I'm not sure how I feel. What's a good way to respond that kinda tells them I'm unsure about this and not completely ready to date someone online?

To be completely honest - I have no idea what to do.

Thanks ^^

[Sandfire12]

I need a bit of help here.

Someone I'm good friends with online but I don't know irl has confessed that they have a crush on me. I find them really nice but considering I don't know them properly I'm not sure how I feel. What's a good way to respond that kinda tells them I'm unsure about this and not completely ready to date someone online?

To be completely honest - I have no idea what to do.

Thanks ^^

Before I start with my advice, remember to take it with a grain of salt; this is just what I'd do personally, and I'm not 100% familiar with every situation.
So, onto the point; let them down easy. If you agree to date them, it'll be stressful for you because you know you're not ready and it would be too much at once for you to deal with. You need to tell them in a way that shows that you care deeply about them, but at the same time you're still saying you're not ready.
I hope that made sense!

[xycaetc]

I need a bit of help here.

Someone I'm good friends with online but I don't know irl has confessed that they have a crush on me. I find them really nice but considering I don't know them properly I'm not sure how I feel. What's a good way to respond that kinda tells them I'm unsure about this and not completely ready to date someone online?

To be completely honest - I have no idea what to do.

Thanks ^^

Before I start with my advice, remember to take it with a grain of salt; this is just what I'd do personally, and I'm not 100% familiar with every situation.
So, onto the point; let them down easy. If you agree to date them, it'll be stressful for you because you know you're not ready and it would be too much at once for you to deal with. You need to tell them in a way that shows that you care deeply about them, but at the same time you're still saying you're not ready.
I hope that made sense!

Thank you very much ^^

[WastedSpace]

This is super weird cause I'm an old lady and have few years on my mind of relationship experience, but I just wanna get someone else's opinion.

-snip-

Yes, it's okay to be angry that your boyfriend refuses to make time to 'be' with you. I'm sorry you felt like you even had to ask if it's okay to be upset that you never get to talk to your partner. It's especially important for partners to make time to be with each other in an LDR. If he doesn't have time for you or doesn't want to prioritize you, then maybe it's time to have a conversation and make a decision.

It may make a difference if he only hangs out with his friend some days or if he hangs with him everyday, so that's also something to consider.

-snip-

1) I have a girlfriend, although this relationship is totally uncommitted. She said (and I agreed) we could go back to being friends at any point, because in the beginning, our relationship was meant to be a joke.
2) the person I like... Is completely toxic. In what he does and how he acted not even three months ago. I met him through my ex (the creepy one who has a picture of me which I'm pretty sure he hasn't deleted). I never once thought I'd be friends with this guy, let alone be romantically attracted to him. Either way, he doesn't like me back and I know this for a fact. If we ever got into a relationship either way, it wouldn't be a healthy one. We wouldn't be able to contact each other. Id see him... Twice a week? I don't even know what to do.

I'm both worried about you and extremely confused. You know a relationship with 2 is toxic, you know a relationship with him wouldn't be healthy... what is there to consider!? Are you sure you should even be friends with him??? Definitely don't pursue somebody you know is toxic. Take some space from him!!! A lot of space!!! Get away from him!!!

I have this friend, hes a boy and he told me that he used to crush on me and still did a little. But everytime we planned on hanging, there was always something else in my schedule (?). So we went from talking alot to almost never talk, and i think he thought that i dont like him, and that i friendzoned him.. The thing is that i think i like him and wannna spend more time with him, but i dont know how to tell him. When we talk we tell eachother everything, no secrets, but i dont have the guts to tell him this.. what should i do? Anyone have some tips for me??

Gotta get this out of the way, but I saddened by the trend of people forgetting that "friendzone" is actually a derogatory term for being "only" friends with someone. It means "I pretended to befriend this person so they'd be physical with me but they refuse to so now we're not friends/I only complain about them and their right to say no". You didn't "friendzone" anybody. Friends are great! Friendship is such an important relationship. It is not any lesser than a romantic one.

Okay, that aside. If you want to spend more time with him, then try and make some time for him! I think you should work on reconnecting with him, at least just a little, first. If he's important to you, then try to make some time with him so he knows that he matters to you.

-snip-

ANYWAY. My question is, after being fully committed to someone for so long, how can I convince myself to let someone in again? This guy I met is so lovely, I really enjoy his company and I know he's interested but I just don't know. Part of me wants to just go for it and see what happens but I have my doubts. It doesn't help that we pretty much act like a couple at this point either, but we're not if that makes sense.

Give yourself a little time and patience and understanding. Instead of trying to force yourself to do anything, accept where you're at now. Be introspective and explore what you've been through, what you learned, and what you want now.

And when you're ready to go for it - don't automatically jump into a serious, committed relationship with him. Even though you act like a couple now, make sure to go out on dates, kiss each other at the door, sleep in different houses, etc. Enjoy the beginning of a relationship by making sure there is one. ;3

[passione]

@wastedspace it's a strange situation. Would it make sense if I said he does bad things (and used to be a bad person) but now isn't that bad at all?? I've heard so many things about him from my friends and almost none of them good but then I tell them how nice to me he is and they're all just so genuinely surprised as if it has never happened before.
But I really don't wanna be in a relationship with this guy, yet I don't want to get over him. Perfect representation of lithromanticism. Wooooo.
He really is kinda poisonous but he listens to me talk and maybe I just like how that feels idk. I don't understand why I become attracted to the worst people.

[Pluto.]

(BROTHER TYPING! NOT MEEEEEE)


Sooooooo, there is this girl who I am pretty sure who has a crush on me(I like her dont worry.) But something happened and we are both so confused.

someone is sending me notes, and they are pretending to be her. I know its not her because she said it wasnt, and I trust her.

someone is hacking my _______ account and changing colors, and she again promises it isnt her.



But I dont know what to do to fix this, please help.

[Kisiel]

-snip-

ANYWAY. My question is, after being fully committed to someone for so long, how can I convince myself to let someone in again? This guy I met is so lovely, I really enjoy his company and I know he's interested but I just don't know. Part of me wants to just go for it and see what happens but I have my doubts. It doesn't help that we pretty much act like a couple at this point either, but we're not if that makes sense.

Give yourself a little time and patience and understanding. Instead of trying to force yourself to do anything, accept where you're at now. Be introspective and explore what you've been through, what you learned, and what you want now.

And when you're ready to go for it - don't automatically jump into a serious, committed relationship with him. Even though you act like a couple now, make sure to go out on dates, kiss each other at the door, sleep in different houses, etc. Enjoy the beginning of a relationship by making sure there is one. ;3

I've been hanging out with him for about six months now though, so it's not really jumping into anything so to speak because we've known each other for a while. Last time the subject came up I told him my heart needed time to heal and I didn't want him to be my rebound. He's a genuinely nice guy and I wouldn't want to treat him bad or hurt him.

We've never labelled our days out as "dates" as such but I suppose you could look at it that way?? Sometimes we just hang out at my place - there's been times when we ended up talking until 4/5 am even though we were both working in the morning but I honestly didn't mind. We've been to the city a few times and out for coffee. We've also been to a few *cough* eventful parties with some mutual friends, I mean that's always fun. I don't know we just... Spend a lot of time together I guess? I'm not really sure what I'm getting at here.

And as much as I hate to admit it because it's probably stupid, it bothers me a little bit that he's younger than me. All of my previous boyfriends have been either the same age or older - my ex partner is 4 years older for example. I don't know why it bothers me especially since it's only a year of a difference so why can't I just be rational about it :'(

[WastedSpace]

@wastedspace it's a strange situation. Would it make sense if I said he does bad things (and used to be a bad person) but now isn't that bad at all?? I've heard so many things about him from my friends and almost none of them good but then I tell them how nice to me he is and they're all just so genuinely surprised as if it has never happened before.
But I really don't wanna be in a relationship with this guy, yet I don't want to get over him. Perfect representation of lithromanticism. Wooooo.
He really is kinda poisonous but he listens to me talk and maybe I just like how that feels idk. I don't understand why I become attracted to the worst people.

Sorry, but it just sounds like you're making excuses for him. Terrible people can seem good sometimes. People who hurt people can be nice to the people they're not hurting. You can't tell me he's toxic, then in the next breath say "he's not bad anymore". That's conflicting, and it makes it seem like you're just trying to downplay what kind of person he is because of your crush.

It happens sometimes to be attracted to people not really good for us. That's why we take some space, give ourselves distance and perspective, and let ourselves get over them. If you make excuses for him and get into a more serious relationship with him, it's likely to end really, really badly for you.

(BROTHER TYPING! NOT MEEEEEE)

Sooooooo, there is this girl who I am pretty sure who has a crush on me(I like her dont worry.) But something happened and we are both so confused.

someone is sending me notes, and they are pretending to be her. I know its not her because she said it wasnt, and I trust her.

someone is hacking my _______ account and changing colors, and she again promises it isnt her.

But I dont know what to do to fix this, please help.

Change all your account and email passwords to something new and different. Make sure to log out of accounts and computers when you're done at the computer.

-snip-

And as much as I hate to admit it because it's probably s****d, it bothers me a little bit that he's younger than me. All of my previous boyfriends have been either the same age or older - my ex partner is 4 years older for example. I don't know why it bothers me especially since it's only a year of a difference so why can't I just be rational about it :'(

The heart isn't rational.

Maybe it's not that you're not ready to date. Maybe you're not really attracted to him but trying to force yourself to be because you think you should be due to how well you get along together.