Advice for getting into roleplay?

[BiggestBear]

I've been passively interested in roleplaying. I was very briefly on a warriors roleplay forum when i was 11 before i ended up trauma dumping and running (....i still feel really bad/embarrassed and it's been many many years ;-;) and i've played like the tiniest bit of dnd

But two big things hold me back

1. I am terrible at backstories, horrible at them even, only one of my oc's really has a fleshed out backstory and thats after years of thinking about them (...and it's an edgy mess of subconsciously venting my mental health issues to boot) So most of my characters just have superficial ones that are maybe like a paragraph at most.

2. I'm terrible at making personalities too! Most of my characters just have "vibes" and i can only really answer the question of "What would they do in this situation" with confidence like 50% of the time (mostly it's just "...Well i mean they wouldn't not do this/that/other thing)

The worst part? Because i'm bad at making these, i don't find it fun to do so and while i've tried to force myself to practice i just give up and move to the fun part of making a story with them (...i once spent six hours straight with only like two short breaks just zoned out making a story lol)

I'm also very unpractised at writing (i am working on it though!) but everyone has to start somewhere and i don't think i'm terrible just not good either, Mediocre if you will

and i have self-worth & fear of judgment issues which hold me back but those apply to like every hobby i have so i'm used to dealing with them

Any advice you think would be relevant would be very much appreciated! (and sorry if anything was worded weirdly or if anything was off in general i've not really made any posts like this before)