[FerretMonarch]

My mental state has been very, very low and I finally talked to one of my sort of friends about it.

They're a sort of friend because I probably shouldn't be friends with them as they are very toxic, but I don't think I can do better then them as a friend. It's nice to note that despite them being toxic they are the only one of my friends sort of or otherwise that actually texted back. Which is fine must be busy.

But the sort of friend knows a lot about mental health, so I texted them. Apparently it isn't normal to switch moods in five minutes and let me explain how this apparently isnt.

I go from wanting to cry, to laughing so hard I'm peeing myself, to feeling like I'm worthless, to feeling zero emotion in the span of 7-10 minutes.

I thought this was normal and everyone did it. Apparently not.
So now I'm contemplating like everything I know, trying to figure out how many behaviors are mental health related. (Yikes. It's a lot.)
And now I definitely have to make an appointment to go to the doctors after I get my liscense.

I have an appointment the 25th to get it and if I get it then I'm making an appointment for the doctor's which I have cancelled twice now.

I am very scared and have a lot riding on this since I do not want to go to the doctor's, but I think I have to.

I can't really function like this anymore. Thanks for reading this. I want to cry