[That's Offensive]

Im sorry that I dont post on here alot anymore, I know that I dont have to but I feel like I do. (this post might be a bit of a vent)
the last few months have been alot, I've had to call for an ambulance twice since christmas (not for myself), I've finally gotten diagnosed with autism but my dad doesnt believe that Im struggleing and my mom doesnt seem to care, my allergies came early this year and they are messing with my eyes, I've moved into a new apartment but they we're going to have the floors repaced so there is alot of furniture moving and people running in and out, there is no privacy. on top of all of this theres the pandemic, it's making it harder for everyone to relax and since I have sensory issues and anxiety I pretty much already had a panic attack every time I had to be on a crowded bus, but now I also have to worry about a virus and make sure I wear a mask that makes me hyperventilate because my messed up anxious brain thinks that I cant breath because there is somethin on my face. I've been spending most of my money on resin because I need something to do while Im home all day and I've started so many projects and I wont ever finish any of them. I've watched all the shows and movies I can think of that I like at least twice. I've been taking so many walks that my feet are hurting and I still dont feel like Im getting fresh air. I've been listening to music 24/7 and last time I had to be without it for a day I had a mental breakdown and got called a selfish addict. my stimming behaviours have gotten worse, not to the point that Im hurting myself with compulsive scratching but enough to annoy the people around me.

long story short: Im not spending time on here because the stress of my day-to-day life is too much for me to handle right now and even looking at my PM folders on here makes my mind spin and my stomach turn with stress so I've been loging on once every month to get the monthly adopts. Im coming back eventually but right now I cant relax enough to be active on any social platform.

I hope everyone else is having at least a slightly better time than I am, I dont think anyone is really doing well right now on account of the pandemic though.

[pipsnseeds]

hey, hang in there <3
ever need to chat, my pms'll be open c:
look after yourself, your apartment will be done soon enough, and life will get its s. back together soon enough, promise. make sure you've got enough tissues/medicine/whatever you need (if itchy eyes, swimming goggles are actually really helpful to avoid obsessive rubbing c': )
we all believe in you, you 100% got this, all us internet people love you a lot C: