[nervousdog]

listened to this song on repeat while doing this up

I watched this anime the other week "Erased ( a town without me )" and it's really clung on my heart, I cant stop thinking about it .

I wonder if I had a chance to go back to save you, how far back would I have to go ? Before the incident ? Back to middle school and we were kids ? Back to before we even met ?
I cried while drawing this, its so hard to let you go . I keep thinking about everything I could've done, maybe should've done .

I found my old, old phone . My first phone . I found a charger for it and plugged it in . When it finally booted back up I was greeted with a picture of us as the lock screen . A picture of us that I didn't have anywhere else . The SD card to the phone has been long lost so I couldn't truly salvage it or any other photos hidden away on the phone . But I cried seeing it . You looked so genuinely happy in that photo . Your smile was real in that one .
I remember the picture your mom sent me of you at your funeral . It didn't look like you but I didn't have the heart to tell your mom that . It looked like a doll with your face . It didn't look right .

I miss you . If I could go back and save you- to fix your future and change your outcome, I would . No matter how far back I would have to go . Even if I had to lose the things I love . I would truly give it all up to have you back .

Just 2 more months until it's been a year .

[AngelBowties]

It will feel better to know that you don’t have to let her go. We can continue to reach out for her, waiting for her, showing her that we love her and nothing will change that. You’re right, we all know it didn’t look anything like ours, she couldn’t have been her! I hold onto hope that it was truly a doll taking her place, maybe she’ll come back and tell us about how she was abducted by aliens or maybe she’s forced to be “dead” to us because she works in a super secret sector of the fbi... I know that it’s far fetched but it’s what I need to go on. Cherish her, smile when you remember her, she needs all the love we can give to her. I truly wish we could go back in time, I want to take the steps to get to that point and SHE would be the one I’d go back to. She deserves to be alive! She didn’t deserve a fate like this, where we lost her, I hope she loves us too wherever she is. I’m not ready for the anniversary.

I really love this drawing, it makes me cry to see it because it’s just so touching to my heart. I miss her too.

[nervousdog]

Thank you for your words, Angel 💖
I put together a little collage with photos of her and some art she made in middle school and have it framed hanging on a wall in the garage ( which we finally are living in ! It's so nice to have privacy ) . I have her hat hanging below it . I like having gentle reminders of her nearby . While it stings a bit to look at sometimes it makes me feel like she is always near .