- I just want to get a little bit off my chest...what I can anyway.
It's hard to want to return here anymore.
There's a lot of bad memories.
Backstabbing friends, past mistakes, stressful mishaps.... it's a lot.
Feeling the weight of thousands of eyes on me, both positive and negative, is a lot of pressure.
It's crushing.
Every mistake will put me on blast and any good thing I do can be instantly destroyed and invalidated by any small thing I do 'wrong' in the eyes of others.
The crushing fear of everything I've worked for being taken away at any time for any whim of those judging me.
It's a lot for my anxiety to handle.
Do I miss it? Yes. I definitely miss CS. I miss the art, the adopts, the fun.
But the site causes me so much stress, it's too much to reason returning here to be as active as I once was.
I don't think I could handle another person stabbing me in the back. I don't think I could handle another falling out.
Words matter, and they cut deeper than any knife ever will.
Be kind to one another. Celebrate the good things that people do around you. Learn to forgive. Learn to love. And, perhaps the most important thing, learn to love yourself. Love yourself enough to take care of your own needs first.
