- "Dad, what is this? It's so cold!"
Flynn watched as his youngest stared in wonder at the sheets of snow painted over the grassy land before them, affection warming his chilled fur as flecks of snow began to drift down again, leaving Felix in wonder until one touched his nose and he squeaked in surprise.
"It's snow. Usually it doesn't do that around here, but...I guess we got lucky this year," Flynn responded at last, smiling a bit as he made his way toward his son. "Here, let me fix that," he added, reaching up to readjust his scarf so it no longer slumped uselessly around his shoulders. Yuri should be here to see this, he thought bitterly, his smile twisting slightly into a resigned grimace.
It had been three years since the den collapse, and Flynn felt horribly alone without Yuri to keep his paws full at every waking moment like he used to. He was only just barely beginning to feel okay, but thoughts like the ones that were currently swarming his mind hardly did anything to help him forget. Maybe not...forget. To move on. His ears flattened at the thought, turning his muzzle to stare out at the hills of white while Felix all but frolicked in the snow.
Felix. Flynn loved his son, and he felt the most thankful that he was alive and well and had grown so decently despite the trauma of losing his father so young -- but all he did these days was remind him of Yuri. He wasn't even sure if he should have felt happier or more bitter at that fact, but most days, he'd felt more of the former. The only true bitterness he'd felt was directed at himself for being so stupid in the midst of the collapse, letting Yuri urge him to just get out with Felix while he went back in for Emilia's daughter without realizing that the pack was cleared out by then. Then, he'd frantically tried to go back in, only to have Raven shove him back and take his place trying to save Yuri -- and when the cave had collapsed, Flynn had successfully caused two deaths. It was all of his fault.
Furious tears welled in his eyes and he missed whatever Felix said, startling him when he was suddenly pressed against by a large ball of fur and fabric.
"Urrff--I'm so cold!! I like it, but my paws are freezing off," the younger male wheezed, shaking his head as he nuzzled into Flynn for warmth. Flynn blinked away his tears and tried to clear his mind as he relaxed, letting Felix warm himself even if he was passing that chill onto his own soft blue fur.
"Hey, Dad..?"
"H-hm?" He steadied his voice; Felix never had and never needed to know about Flynn's feelings. He'd only been a child when he'd lost Yuri, and as far as Flynn knew, he didn't even remember the event. That was for the best, however.
"Do you think he would have liked to see snow?" Flynn stared at Felix before his ears twitched back and he looked up, fighting back the cloud of emotions that threatened to surface.
"...yes. It snowed a moon after you hatched," he replied, "and he stayed outside for so long that he felt like an icicle when he tried to cuddle up to you and me in our nest." His voice shook a little and he paused. "He always wanted to see another snowy day sometime when you were older, because you were always just as curious as he was." He smiled at Felix, even as his chest felt as though it would split. You should be here, not me.
Flynn had never been good with children. Though he and Yuri had had such a large family, he'd never felt like he'd done the best job -- it was always Yuri who knew what to do. Raising Felix on his own had been so hard, but it had turned out fine by some sort of miracle. Still, Flynn knew Yuri could have done a much better job. Gods, he missed Yuri so much.
Felix nuzzled into his chest fur and Flynn pressed his muzzle into his fuzzy mane, closing his eyes while his son spoke.
"Well, I'm happy I got to have one with you," he chirped softly, and Flynn let out a small breath.
"I just wish he could have spent it with you instead," Flynn said quietly. "He loved you so much."
"Well, you love me, too, don't you?"
"Of course I do."
"Then, that's plenty. I love him and I wish he could be here, but you're my dad, too. I don't love him any more than I love you." Flynn's chest twisted with guilt as his own son, years younger than him, had to chide him for his cryptic thoughts.
Still, he found it in himself to laugh softly, shaking his head.
"I know. I just wish things could have turned out differently."
"Me, too. I wish I could have had you both," Felix responded, following Flynn's gaze up into the dark sky before he nudged his father's shoulder softly. "..let's go inside. It's getting really cold!!" He shivered and snuggled into his scarf, gazing up at Flynn with bright, innocent eyes that sent his mind flickering back to the day Yuri had confessed his love for him. Now, he was brimming with a love just as powerful, even if it was of a different vein, and he smiled softly, feeling his bitterness melt like the flecks of snow spotting across Felix's muzzle.
"You're right. Let's go find some shelter until it stops snowing," he replied, straightening up with his negativity sliding off of his shoulders for the moment. As Felix chirped his approval and started on ahead to try and find a nice overhang, Flynn let out a small breath and shuddered softly while he paused beneath a tree.
"I just wish I could have seen you one more time," he argued quietly, though there was no one around to protest one way or the other. "...."
Suddenly, a large pile of snow slid off of the branches, splattering across Flynn's head and shoulders as he yelped, shivering from the cold. Shaking his head to get it off of him, he blinked and stared up at the sky, silent for a few long moments before he snorted quietly, tears welling in his eyes. He doubted it actually meant anything, but it made him feel better to think it did.
"...I guess that's good enough for now," he replied, smiling despite how his warm tears turned chilly as they spilled. He waited a few moments longer before he trotted after Felix slowly, unable to shake the feeling that he was being watched as he left the snowy hills.
--
Yuri stared as the last of his mate and son's forms were swallowed by the sea of white ahead, his eyes half-lidded with restless longing as stars bit softly at his paws, his ears flat against his head.
"Yuri, you need to come back now," a soft voice warned, and his eyes shut for a moment. Muriel was kind enough to grant him this visit, even if only one side could see the other. He couldn't afford to make her even more stern with him than she already was. The branch beneath his paws didn't even stir as he rose from his perch, his pelt prickling gently as he searched for one last glimpse of his family.
"..." Yuri let out a soft breath, almost like it were pained, before he turned his muzzle to answer the call. "...I'm on my way." The snow swirled in a gentle cascade as the wind picked up for a moment, brushing away Yuri's hardly visible form as the sigh of the breeze overtook the area.
Then, the clearing was in peaceful silence once more.
