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name: uriel
gender: female (she/her)
on a scale of 1/10, how done are they with the human they're protecting and why:
you.. dont really know how you feel about your charge. you dont even know how to assign a number or how to put a scale to your feelings about her.
she gets on your nerves sometimes. she doesnt appreciate anything you do for her, doesnt know you exist, she cant even see you. she lives her life so blissfully unaware of all the things you do, all the things others do, all the things that lurk in the shadows and in alleys and in darkness that people like her cant see. she's so reckless, so uncaring of danger, so easily swayed by the darkness--you fear one day not even you can protect her. and it frustrates you so badly, because you would hate to ever see her hurt, you would hate to see anything bad happen to her even if she irritates you at times.
other times, you are completely... you dont know. you dont dare describe it. you just. she's so loving, so selfless, so brave, and you just... you unconsciously find yourself more and more curious about her, about what she likes, about what she wants to do when she's older. you dont dare intrude, dont dare ask--you dont want to interfere with the relatively peaceful life she has, but you... wish sometimes you did. and that you could. it's so selfish, but you do. you wish even just for a day, you could talk to her like others can.
there are times she absolutely terrifies you, her anger unmatched even by the likes of gods, and other times you feel such a deep sorrow coming from her, it makes you weak and soft and pitiful for wishing you could help her smile again. sometimes you think she's the most obnoxious human being you've ever known, but there are other times where you're so enamored by her you dont know what to do with yourself.
sometimes she is the only thing you can think about, other times she's the last thing you want on your mind. sometimes she's the center of the world for you, and other times she's on a planet all her own far, far away from you, from everything.
her laughter makes your heart beat, her voice rings in your ears for hours after the fact, her eyes burn like a wildfire for days, ingrained into your mind, the inspirational speeches she makes and even the tiny little things about her that she might find insignificant you cherish like prized memories.
you dont know what you feel exactly, or maybe you do and you just want to pretend you dont, but you definitely know it isnt good. and you know you should not feel this way, whatever it is. you've felt similar feelings many times before, for many kinds of people, and you've lived the situations that come after you reveal yourself and confess, and you've lived out the punishments and the embarrassment and the shame, but you have tried, and you cant let go.
and you dont care what others have to say. you've long since made up your mind--one day, you will tell her. but until that day, you satisfy yourself with being her guardian angel instead.
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