[a snoozing skerple]

my life has changed so drastically in these last few years, i don't even feel like the same person i was growing up - and to say that that's a good thing would be the understatement of the century. i'm finding that i like changing, and now i want to find as many ways as i can. i have been rid of so many problems in my life, i feel inspired. i want to destroy the ones that are left. and i can, because the only ones left are with myself. one of my biggest problems is that i'm a coward. there are plenty of things i'm afraid of for no good reason - or for reasons that can be fixed. two fears for this morning - me and Jasmine.

i have never liked drawing myself because i have always despised myself. well, i don't despise who i want to be, so i drew him - there were points i wanted to just hide spots, stick a bag or some convenient piece of nature in the way and just revolve completely on my pretty horsey friend, but nope. no shortcuts allowed. if the last ten years have taught me anything, it's that i don't fix anything by hiding. i know what kind of person i want to be and i refuse to be ashamed of it anymore.

as for Jasmine, we were great friends when we first got her. she's very sweet, but has always been at the bottom of the herd's pecking order. despite her size, she gets pushed around more than her fair share, and for a while i forgot that fact, because just one time she pushed me. the day we were moving the horses to a new lot, we rushed everything, including feeding them, and she accidentally knocked me over while i was bringing out their food. i know she wasn't trying to hurt me - she even tried to jump over when i fell, instead of stepping on me. just one of her hooves ever touched me, and i couldn't use my arm for most of the day - it hurt like hell. after that i became very afraid of her, convinced that now that she knew she was stronger than me, she was going to run me down on purpose. sometimes she would look like she was about to charge at me. i even began to despise her a little, completely forgetting just what kind of a horse she actually is for a couple months. i only recently remembered that she used to be my friend... and now i feel the need to tiptoe around her because just one time she got a little too close.
i am tired of losing friends because of my own exaggerated insecurities. she is not some otherworldly demon that exists only to bite peoples butts and squish short little trannies into dough. i am going to pet that horse, brush her, play with her nose, and someday i am going to damn ride her, and i am going to damn well do it without shaking in my fnarkin' boots like a little kid.

[CO1LD]

i totally get the shirt the guy is wearing! XD

love this drawing/art!

[~Tornado~]

This is amazing the movement the feel the lightning and the love behind this piece is just making it so much better!