Anyways, this is a Half-life reference. It's a really fun video game. If you have no clue what it is, here is my description of it: It's about a physics scientist who works in an underground research facility called Black Mesa. They caused this thing called a resonance cascade and before they knew what was going on aliens were teleporting into Black Mesa by the handful. The aliens killed like almost everyone. Except for the awesome and godly Gordon Freeman. He faced headcrabs(Crab like things that grabbed on to your face and turned you into a zombie), Vortigaunts(Large zapping aliens), Fish monsters, snot spitting aliens dogs, screechy thingies, and other stuff. He had lots of cool weapons but the most handy of them all is the infamous crowbar! He escapes Black Mesa only to be teleported by G-man(bad guy) to a planet called zen. There he kills a giant half dead alien fetus and saves the world....until Half-life 2 comes along but I'm not going to get in that far.
QUOTE TIME!
I'm going to be putting all the best quotes in here from Freeman's mind. (web show, in Freeman's perspective.)
-"stealing from work is so much more stressful then not stealing from work."
-"Those idiots in there are having trouble learning gravity, where as I can recite the CHROMODYNAMIC GAUGE INVARIANT LEGRANGIAN IN MY SLEEP!"
-*evil laughs* "Okay, settle down. I don't want a repeat of Monday."
-Random Scientist: "Hello." Freeman: "Heeeeey, wait, I don't know you. Don't confuse me."
-"LAZAR. CAUTION. LAAAZAR. CAUTION. LAAAAAAZAR. WHAT COULD IT MEAN?"
-*something falls off the wall* "HIT THE DECK! Oh....I thought it was a sniper. I guess that wouldn't make sense."
-"Does my beard intimidate you?"
-"Times like this I remember why I became a physicist. TO SHOW ANTIMATTER PARTICLES WHOSE BOSS! YEAH!"
-"WHY DID WE USHER FORTH THE GREEN APOCALYPSE? WE ARE BAD PEOPLE! THIS IS A BAD EXPERIMENT!"
-"Am I dead? I don't feel dead. If this is what it's like to be dead than being dead sucks!!"
-"NO! I don't wanna be a schizophrenic!"
-"I AM CAPTAIN GORDON FREEMAN OF THE INTERGALACTIC HOUSE OF PANCAKES ORDERING YOU TO OPEN!"
-"I hate computers. Why do they always blow when I use them?"
-"Holy crap, it's an alien. I wasn't imagining it. Do they see this? Hey! I told you all I'm not crazy!! The proof's right here!"
-"Don't let it smell your fear."
-"oh, the green beams of death. I thought we were past this already. It's getting a little old"
-"Oh god, one of 'em is lose. Okay, I can do this. I am a matador. *curses randomly* those things bite!"
-"This is the day all my limbo practice pays off! Hey, I can't limbo this! It goes through the floor! That's cheating!"
-"Hey, is that a crowbar? Oh my god, this is freakin' perfect. Now I can beat the snot out of people! Oh boy, I can't wait to get back to the lobby. They'll be like "Freeman! we thought you dead!" And I'll be like you thought wrong! POW!"
-"God, I love this thing. I just wanna beat stuff now. Well, actually, that's all I've wanted to do anyways. But now it's so easy!! whackapoww!"
-*reads sign* "Do not use elevators" *presses button and elevator crashes with people in it* Oh, Sh*t, they weren't kidding!"
-"Well that's it. I've gone and killed two guys. All my life I've wanted to kill people just by pressing a button and now that I've done it...It's just not what I was hoping for."
-"Follow the dead body road, Follow the dead body road, follow, follow-D*mn, look at all that blood!"
-"Good thing I've seen Die hard like 50 times. Otherwise I wouldn't know anything about guns."
-"Maybe I was hasty shooting that thing. Next time I'll to what it has to say *Alien attacks him so he shoots it again* "D*MN IT!! It's the same story EVERY TIME! You give people the benefit of the doubt and they try and kill you! That's what I get for being nice!"
-*sees a sign with a skull on it* "Ah, I guess that's the room of death. Don't wanna go in there. Nice of them to put up signs, though."
-"D*mn. White men in armored Haz-mat suits can't jump."
-"Oh no! That was stupid! I'M GONNA DIE!"
-"I guess I'm still not sure if that was smart or stupid. I guess it was both. Smoopid."
-"Whoa! Trains leaving he station! All aboard!" *Headcrab attacks him* "No, not you! You don't have a ticket!"
-"Oh, who am I kidding? I've got a gun."
-"Hey wait, what's up this ceiling? THAT looks like a ceiling designed to have moving walls that crush people. Well, there's no blood stains. Oh god! That was a pun! 'What's up with this ceiling?' What's wrong with me? I'd punch somebody in the mouth if they said that to me."
-"Well I believe you, but does my GUN believe you?"
-"Now I can pass safely, proving once again that I am superior to aliens. And everyone."
-*looks at bloody broken glass* "I'm kinda like glass in a way. I'll tear people to shreds when I can't do my job right."
-*Hitting Headcrabs* OKAY CHILDREN! CLASS IS IN SESSION! EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS! I SAID EVERYONE TAKE YOUR SEATS! D*MMIT BILLY, THAT MEANS YOU TOO! TAKE YOUR SEATS. Now, today's lesson is...wait, what am I doing?"
-"Ya know, facial lacerations aside, that was pretty pimp. I need a sword. And a helmet. And a horse."
-"That's so friggin' annoying! It's not the electricity kills me, it just HURTS! I'm not sure what I'm more upset about, that their shocking me or that I can't shoot electricity from my hands."
-"Gah! My ear! I GOT SHOT IN THE EAR! WHY IS THE BUILDING TRYING TO KILL ME?!"
-"Ohhhhhhhh! An exit sign! It's about bloody time!"
I'll add more later.
