ok, random vent time. this isn't to anyone, i just needed to write this down.
i hate myself so much. i can't look at mirrors anymore without bullying myself over every single detail of my face, body and clothing. i can't seem to please myself with anything i do. all i do is think of the worse case scenario and won't even give myself to chance to consider that i might achieve something great. i can't hear anyone talk about bullying without having awful flashbacks to past year. i feel like i'll never be loved because i don't have the confidence to let anyone love me. i'm always worried that others are going to get bored of me and leave me. i'm afraid to tell people my dreams because the few people i've told have told me my dream is 'stupid' and isn't 'a real dream.' i always feel like im a burden on people, and i'll avoid talking to people i really want to because i'm afraid i'm annoying them. i can't even ask for help at a store because i'm worried the employees will judge me because i stutter so much when im nervous. i hate people calling me because i feel like i'm always boring them and being too awkward. it always surprises me when someone refers to me as a 'friend' because i have a hard time believing that people would want to hang out with me. i don't like going out in public because i always compare myself to other girls i see and ask myself why i can't be as pretty or fashionable as them. honestly, i'm surprised when someone just smiles at me.
ok, vent over. sorry if you read this and found it annoying.
i hate myself so much. i can't look at mirrors anymore without bullying myself over every single detail of my face, body and clothing. i can't seem to please myself with anything i do. all i do is think of the worse case scenario and won't even give myself to chance to consider that i might achieve something great. i can't hear anyone talk about bullying without having awful flashbacks to past year. i feel like i'll never be loved because i don't have the confidence to let anyone love me. i'm always worried that others are going to get bored of me and leave me. i'm afraid to tell people my dreams because the few people i've told have told me my dream is 'stupid' and isn't 'a real dream.' i always feel like im a burden on people, and i'll avoid talking to people i really want to because i'm afraid i'm annoying them. i can't even ask for help at a store because i'm worried the employees will judge me because i stutter so much when im nervous. i hate people calling me because i feel like i'm always boring them and being too awkward. it always surprises me when someone refers to me as a 'friend' because i have a hard time believing that people would want to hang out with me. i don't like going out in public because i always compare myself to other girls i see and ask myself why i can't be as pretty or fashionable as them. honestly, i'm surprised when someone just smiles at me.
ok, vent over. sorry if you read this and found it annoying.
