Anyway, onto the art. Vent art, again. A little over a year ago, I read some of the most amazing FMA fanfic's I'd seen in a while on Fanfiction.net by this pretty cool user. Their writing and character portrayals were pretty epic, especially for AU fic's, so I thought, perhaps we could be internet pals and RP together. Unfortunately, right when I wanted to email them asking, they went on an extended hiatus because of some real life issues with a family member being in the hospital and all for cancer in July '11. So I basically said to myself, "Okay, I'll wait until they come back from hiatus and ask then."
Well, finally in January/February '12, they came back so I emailed asking if they'd like to RP with me. They agreed but unfortunately it didn't go very far(though her writing was still awesome, she was just sort of shy and hyper-critical about her own writing even though it was good enough she didn't have much reason to be XD) and they decided that perhaps RP wasn't for them. So, okay, I was fine with that(though still held hope that maybe we might get to that point eventually if we talked long enough that they were comfortable with it) but I figured, why cut off talking to each other over that? We could still be penpal's and have conversations anyway.
Unfortunately...that didn't go very well either. She responded to me, but it was very rarely, and even when she did, it was very short as compared to my almost mammoth emails to her and often she didn't directly reply to most of what I had said in the previous email. Because it's FF.net and you can't see log in history at all, I couldn't tell if she was even logging in to read them or not aside from those rare occasions every month/2 months. Well, her main page had a link to her DA, which I noticed she logged into every day. So I decided to try DA in case she just logged into there and not FF.net often. Well...not much luck there either. She logged in, and often read my Notes that I sent to her, but didn't reply to most of them or took a long time doing it(mind you, I waited weeks in between each message, not just a few hours or days, so I don't think I was being impatient?).
After a while I started to think, maybe she didn't want to talk to me, so I dropped a couple hints that I hoped I wasn't bothering her or being a pest with my messages.
No response to it.
And of course I wait a while and figure that maybe it's time to give up, and right when I'm about to, she finally emails me, so I think maybe I have a chance of being friends with her, but then it happens again until I'm about ready to give up.
I just can't tell anymore if she's just too busy or see's me as an annoyance with my emails because she doesn't communicate any of it. I have no problem being told to buzz off, I just don't want to be left in the dark wondering if I should invest any more time into someone or whether they're even interested in me at all =/
From the few exchanged conversations we did have she seems like a really awesome person and like she'd be a good friend, even if it's just an internet friend, but I can't tell if she even has the tiniest bit of interest in the same. All signs so far have pointed towards no but I'm pretty stubborn and persistent sometimes. I just hope things get a little better, but I'm starting to think that maybe I really should give up, just cuz she doesn't seem like she really wants to be friends or even talk to me most of the time. *sighs*
Anyway, the character in the drawing is my fursona, Faulklin and his companion crow, Khu.
Douko arigatou gozaimashita
~The Great Me
