"ever on and on i continue circling
with nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony "
username; The One & Only Vapor
name; Raidne Lucerne Melody; call her anything but Raidne and she'll "charm" your head off.
meaning; Raidne, the name of a siren from Greek mythology, meaning "improvement"- ironic in itself, since her life has anything but improved since it began.
Lucerne, the name of Switzerland's fourth-largest lake; given to her for its phonetical similarity to "luminescence", which aptly matches her eyes.
Melody, noun. A rhythmical succession of single tones producing a distinct musical phrase or idea.
gender; Female, but identifies as agender. Rai is bicurious but asexual and goes by they/their pronouns as well as she/her pronouns.
“ till slowly i forget
and my heart starts vanishingand suddenly i see that i can't break free— i'm ”
personality;
numb • heartless/conscience-less • mournful • vicious • spiteful • grudging • hydrophile • singer • charming • influential • hopeless • cursed
So many things have gone wrong in Raidne Lucerne Melody's life that she doesn't bother counting anymore. It's gone far beyond the powers of any curse; she was plain destined for ill fortune, failure and ultimately, death. But before such an end to this neverending nightmare is upon her, Raidne must endure through the misery and pure agony of her fate. The constant perils she goes through on a daily basis have been enough to push her over the edge; not a soul is even aware that she still lives, and if they did, it would certainly be a wonder as to how her mind isn't fragmented into delicate little shards of its former glory. Yet Rai isn't quite as solid as she seems on the surface; she is completely numb, and her soul has effectively "turned to stone," leaving her wholly emotionless with the exceptions of sadness, fear, anger and pain. Raidne has not felt anything remotely close to happiness in over eight years- the nearest she's gotten is "a lack of any negative emotions," again complete numbness. Her attitude towards others is cold, fierce, and intensely frightful under the surface; though she hasn't interacted with other Kias in over eight years she still retains a fear of them, especially after she came to know that someone, somewhere, was out to kill her.
Raidne often appears to be lacking a conscience. She never appears to feel the need to justify anything she does to anyone, perhaps after suppressing herself and making constant excuses for her entire life, and now refusing to defer to such logic. The lack of emotion never seems to get to Rai, although she does have what's called an "old soul" and always seems heavy or weighed down, like something is haunting her, which is not necessarily untrue. More often than not she's in a foul mood, pure white eyes glaring bitterly at the bleak world around her. Her tongue has the salty, fierce lash of the seas around her, and Rai swears more often than a sailor, vicious and icily uncaring. Attitude isn't really a problem for her- living alone doesn't require a code of conduct- and so she spends most of her days constructing traps, killing whatever she comes across, swimming, and likely more killing along the way. It gets worse- aside from the traps she sets to kill other animals, she plots desperately all manner of ways to kill herself. The thing is, she's confused and alone after the death of her only living relatives and thinks the only way to solve her issues is to die herself. These "issues" are almost innumerable- her paralyzing social anxiety, her clinical depression, a strong OCD, a tendency to swing from mood to mood so fast it's almost violent, and her host of health issues she's collected over the years- and so even though death seems like the preferable option, Raidne remains in life, if only to humor- and later take revenge on- her parents' killer.
Despite all of the bad things in her life, Raidne has had some certain advantages that help keep her afloat in the dark sea of despair. For one, her singing voice is regal, elegant and charming beyond the knowledge of any Kia in existence. So beautiful is its caressing notes that before her life became a constant downward spiral, some spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to hear her, and many were driven mad after experiencing sheer audible beauty. Perfection in every tone, Rai's voice has a charming effect that very few can ignore, and when she sings there are rumours that she imbibes her words with spells designed to cause insanity or even sing one to death. This charming voice carries over into her daily life, where her powers are so influential that she can twist anyone to fit her desires. Before the shipwreck that cost her life as she knew it, Raidne had everything she ever wanted- success inside and outside of school, a flourishing career, loyal friends, a loving family- and then it was all taken from her. Some say it was karma taking a bite out of her; for the rumours say she charmed all of those close to her into giving her what she wanted.
There are so many other parts to Rai's personality that it's almost impossible to dissect further. Beyond her desolate hopelessness and eternally cursed way of being, there lies a thick tangle of thorns and brambles surrounding her heart. Some say this is where her final hope, that last bit that keeps her clinging to life lies; some suggest that it's where she locks away her emotions; yet others think it's the key secret to her life, whatever it may be. Floating around that encased secret are various traits of Raidne's. One is that she's a pure hydrophile, though before the shipwreck she was petrified of water. Now, she has a certain affinity for swimming, though it's more to stave off complete insanity than actual enjoyment. Raidne was- still is, technically- an only child and so developed a more spoiled and bossy personality. She can't stand situations where she can't get her way- they may actually induce panic attacks due to her lack of control- and tends to take charge of others. She's never indecisive and always seems to know exactly what she's doing, and isn't afraid to boss others around to get there. After her experience as one, though, Rai hates children, and anything to do with them as well, including their parents. They seem to be bad luck for her, and their parents are always possible suspects for her parents' murderer. Beyond this innate mistrust of other Kias, there is a fear within Raidne so deep that no living being can imagine the horrors that she walks among every day of her life on this Earth.
"slipping through the cracks
of a dark eternity
with nothing but my pain and the paralyzing agony"
odd quirks;
1.) Raidne, perhaps in the classic manner of a siren, prefers to occupy her time on land brushing her unruly mane into a decent style and straightening her tail fur to keep it sharp and pristine. Using dried pieces of salty kelp that dredge up on the rocks she dwells in, she shines the fur to keep it stiff. In fact Rai could almost be described as obsessive over the condition of her tail; carefully keeping it immaculately groomed as though it is imperative for her survival. Perhaps it is- because yes, the stiffness does keep its shape in saltwater and helps her swim much faster.
2.) Ironically enough, Rai used to be terrified of water, and would never swim except in the purest, most finely filtered water available for her fear of getting ear infections, which she was prone to thanks to their size. She also preferred saltwater-based water and would never swim in chlorine. It was only four years before her fateful shipwreck that Raidne actually learned how to properly swim. Now, she is able to swim at speeds up to 20 mph, 5 times faster than humans. She can also hold her breath for a whopping 19 minutes and 8 seconds- able to freely roam the ocean for a third of an hour with no fear of drowning and the elegant ease of a dolphin.
3.) For the most part, Raidne is rather uncaring and completely unfeeling, but she does have a vague, if dark, interest in physics. Aero- and aquadynamics are her preferred branch and although there isn't much out in her open sea, Rai tries her best. One of her most proficient skills is reducing drag and increasing streamlined speed on her own body, but she takes no pleasure from it. It's simply stopping her from becoming bored to death.
4.) Rai actually has quite a noticeable underbite; she can't bear it and is embarrassed by it, though it's actually quite a useful evolution for feeding. Nevertheless, she hates it and often uses her seaweed-like hair to cover her face. The most peculiar thing about it- despite not seeing the slightest glimpse of civilization for eight years, Raidne still has the socially-demanded instinct to cover up her flaws.
5.) Raidne has ombrophobia- the fear of rain. The massive drops that fall from a dark sky are never a good sign for her, isolated in the middle of the sea. Thunderstorms are even worse: being the highest point over a flat sea is usually not good when lightning reigns over the earth. While Rai is terrified of rain, however, she's also grateful for it; the pureness counteracts the salt of the oceans and allows her, if briefly, to see well above water.
6.) Raidne has never stopped to consider that her hair is quite beautiful. Its fluffiness is really its only aspect in Rai's eyes, and the fact that as such it is the opposite of aerodynamic, a disadvantage in the world of the seas. Before the awful shipwreck that left her numb and bitter, it was long, well past her too-slim waist, but she got it cut short before the wreck, and now keeps it manageably short with an orca's tooth on a leather necklace, her only accessory. Despite the years of salt and water her mane retains a constant fluffiness, although it never dries entirely, leaving her with a slightly slick appearance. It also always seems to peculiarly remain tangle-free, flowing long and wavy over her shoulder, its sea-foam green shades rolling over her slim body, the ocean incarnate.
7.) The bleak rocks which Raidne dwells within don't offer much shelter save shallow caves where waves have lapped away their surface. In fact, the only way she keeps from being whipped away is by collecting driftwood from the lowest rock outcrop, where it frequently washes up. She's constructed a half-decent shelter over the years and never really needed anymore, but Rai has always had an affinity for elements of the Earth, especially as it was a plank of sodden wood that saved her life in the shipwreck eight years ago.
pets;
She befriends wildlife, if only to slaughter them. Rai's never kept a "pet" and never will.
occupation;
If the question is what Rai does for a living, then you'd rather not know the answer.
hobbies;
Again- how she spends her time is probably something you'd be better off ignoring, though to keep from dying of boredom Rai's hobbies include:
• Swimming
• Killing fish, usually by spearing them with her claws
• Curling into a ball and trying to disappear
• Testing how long she can hold her breath
• Listening to and being in rain, when it occurs
• Any sort of plotting or planning, especially involving death
• Feeling or being in control
• Sleeping
lifestyle/schedule;
In summary, each day consists of about four things:
1.) Wake up. "What an delightfully awful morning it is, world. Who shall die today?"
2.) Try to die. "It's a shame these rocks are too blunt to cause any damage. Even the driftwood is too sodden to impale anything. And there's no sharks for miles around."
3.) Kill something instead. "At least there's crabs and, like, mahi-mahi around here. Not deadly, but definitely killable."
4.) Go back to sleep. "What an awful night it is, world. Alas, let us sleep; for tomorrow may bring my death. I'd rather do it sleeping."
Varying, of course.
age;
Rai identifies that she is twenty-four years old, though her birthday is unknown. No one knows the truth- none alive, that is.
accessories;
Raidne only bears two accessories, and one of them is her mysterious feather headdress. Contrary to the feather attire of most Kiamaras, in which said feathers are small, simple and generally non-unique- not to mention attached by strings- hers are threaded directly into her hair. Since string doesn't exactly hold up well in saltwater, but her hair is always thick enough to keep things inside of it, the hairs are easily wrapped and braided around the shafts of the feathers to keep them in place. Though Rai often has to readjust them, she's very careful not to lose a single feather, as the bird they came from is the only one of its kind she's seen and she's not even sure if any more exist. The only day she saw the bird that bore such bright feathers was two years after she was shipwrecked and her life strewn onto the rocks around her; the day she gave up her old life and accepted the new feathers. The "mystery seabird" arrived on a rock not far from the one Rai dwells upon, and was an easy kill; she discarded her previous feathers along with the memories of her parents and traded her six old feathers for six new dappled sea-foam green ones. However, she's never found one since, not even a glimpse on the horizon; yet she's never felt guilt for possibly driving a species to extinction.
Besides her feather headdress, Raidne displays one more accessory; an orca-tooth necklace which she wears as a symbol of her prowess and power. She doesn't like to put herself or her achievements on display, but the accomplishment of killing a creature designed for water battle and three times her size is worth a token to show for it. It's not very practical, but the cord she keeps it on- also woven from strands of her own hair, since again, thread wouldn't hold up well in saltwater- is short enough not to bother her when rock-climbing or swimming. The battle with the orca whale was fierce indeed, and Rai bears several scars, but she took the creature by surprise and with her sharp claws, she easily disposed of it. As proof of the battle and as a "prize" of sorts for claiming another victim's life, Raidne bears the largest tooth she could savage from the body on a necklace. With her sea-foam green headdress combined with the tooth she keeps shining bright with kelp, Rai certainly poses an imperial threat to all those around her- without even trying.
theme songs;
Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Bad Apple most closely match her personality.
where is her home?;
"Home is where the heart is, isn't that what they say? My heart perished at sea eight years ago, along with my parents. Perhaps this is why I now wander the seas eternally, awaiting my inevitable death as the one who went after my parents now stalks in the shadows for me...so here I wait. Here, on a tiny outcrop of slick algae-covered sea rocks that rise out of the deep ocean floor, here in the bottom right corner of the Bermuda Triangle. The "unlucky" repertoire of this place certainly fits me, and no doubt my killer will find me here...so I dwell, and I wait. What this place is can never be home, but it is as close as anything may ever get again. I've spent close to eight years here, and twice as many in the place I once knew as home. Undoubtedly I could return there if I wished, but nothing lies there for me any longer, and home is where the heart is, after all- eternally lost at sea..."
voice;
Raidne's voice is low and has an almost haunting undertone. Unnaturally smooth and fluid, her voice has been compared to the hiss of a snake, only lower in pitch and less reedy. Most who hear it remember her all their lives- which is most often not long after experiencing the eerie sound- and several have been driven completely mad from hearing just a few words. While her sinuous voice is low and sonorous, her singing voice rises somewhat in pitch and gains a wavering, grief-filled note. Through every heavy word she speaks in her slight high-pitched accent, you can hear the misery, the pure agony her twenty-four years of life have been.
"to tell me who i am, who i was
uncertainty enveloping my mindtill i can't break free
and"
what makes her who she is;
The story of her physical traits is an odd one indeed- even to Raidne herself. For instance, her skeletal build has arisen from the saltwater she lives in. Abandoned eight years ago at sea, Rai forced herself to live, only to find that her greatest wish and most comforting solace was in the embrace of death. It is this desire, ironically, that keeps her alive; the salty, bitter wash of the ocean has dehydrated her. Raidne has not tasted fresh water for over eight years, and it'd be a miracle if the dehydration hasn't taken its toll on her mind as well as her body. In essence, the saltwater she lives in forces her to the brink of dehydration, the edge of death- in fact the sharp protrusions on her shoulders, hips and tail aren't miniature scale formations or protrusions at all. The stark outline along her wiry, too-short fur is formed by her spine peeking up. It's far more evident on her tail due to the increased mobility and flexibility of the vertebrae.
One of Raidne's most unique traits is the peculiar whiteness of her eyes. Completely pupil-less but somehow still allowing vision, with a constant stream of thin white mist surrounding her head in an anything-but-angelic halo; how is such even possible? While her irises are nonexistent and there is no scientific explanation for such, the pupil is what allows the eye to see, and a rare disease called leukocoria is the cause of their whiteness. It has the potential to cause blindness; but in Rai's case it only affects her vision abovewater, though her vision is blurry and clouded on land. In this manner her pure white eyes are nothing short of a scientific anomaly, yet the scientific explanation for the glow that emanates from them is even more curious. Rai's eyes glow or leak a white substance, which is actually a sodium chloride gas. Since birth, Raidne has had unhealthy amounts of chlorine in her body, and this mixed with the sodium of the saltwater she's been living in for so many years has caused a buildup of sodium chloride in the blood of her frail form. This unnatural mix of substances causes any tears she cries, or in fact any moisture in her eyes, to evaporate immediately in a thin, misty white cloud of sodium chloride. Due to this, she is almost blind on land, and her vision is cloudy and blurry; Rai can only see properly underwater because of the counteracting hydrogen.
Being a purely feral Kia, you would think Raidne's fur has grown long and shaggy, especially in the winter months. However, the saltwater curbs the growth of the follicles and the ends shrivel up, resulting in extremely short fur to the point of sparse, showing her dark skin beneath in thin patches. Thanks to the fish oil she consumes from her constant piscine diet, Rai's fur is very sleek, at least at the base. Similar to a duck's feathers, the oily surface makes her fur waterproof and seems to keep her insulated while swimming even in the winter.
In a similar fashion to her fur, the time and conditions placed upon Raidne's horns have caused them to be a bit worse for the wear. They're nicked and dented from slips on rocks and close encounters with predators, and a bit eroded due to the brine buildup on them from the sea. The brine causes the small white flecks that are visible on her horns, and though they seem solid, the saltwater is wearing them hollow. Though the wear-and-tear progresses slowly, it is a steady and final fate, and one day Rai's horns may erode or chip all of the way through and break off, leaving her with short, jagged stumps.
The matter of her teeth, claws and odd slippery tongue are another oddity entirely. Raidne's teeth are permanently crooked and she has a pronounced underbite, caused by both a hereditary trait and a maltreatment of her teeth. In desperation to reverse her underbite in her younger years, Rai received an incorrect prescription for her braces and they caused her teeth to become crooked and tilted, though besides the visual appearance there are no adverse effects. As for her claws, they simply never stopped growing, as some individuals are prone to. Letting them grow too long- as it is possible for them to grow a foot or more- would hinder her lifestyle up in her rocky home on the sea, and so she desperately keeps them filed on driftwood. Unfortunately, this method of filing also sharpens them to an aciculate point, causing anything she grabs for to become instantly mutilated. Her tongue's slick and dappled surface is caused by a microbial disease called biofilm, a thick plaque which causes a slimy residue and identified by small white spots. It makes it difficult for her to keep food in her mouth, for the little that she eats, and also proves her terrible dental health.
Finally, there are Raidne's ears. Tufted at the tips, torn and slightly ragged from the harsh sea, wind and brush of stone against them- they seem wildness incarnate. Due to their size and slightly ragged state, they are sensitive to the touch, prone to blisters with only a light scratch or discomfort every time they hit something. However, this hypersensitive reaction has a perk to balance it out- sound is greatly amplified in Rai's head due to the size of her ears, causing her hearing to be impeccably acute. Any sound prey or predator makes is caught by her, even sounds borne on the wind- and her ability is only slightly hindered while swimming. Despite this advantage in the world of eat-or-be-eaten, Raidne still feels that certain tug, that little whisper in her ear telling her to hide her flaws; so still she is embarrassed about the sizable span of her ears and tries to use her hair to hide them, as with her jaw.
"maybe it's a dream;
maybe nothing else is real
but it wouldn't mean a thing
if i told you how i feelso i'm tired of all the pain, all the misery inside
and i wish that i could live feeling nothing but the night"
history; It's almost ironic how the sky before that day was bright and clear. For once as a sixteen-year-old, Raidne felt almost optimistic; for once she wasn't cringing away from socializing, desperate to hide the bones so brilliantly patterned under her fur, like three-dimensional accessories. Her mood soured temporarily as she remembered time after time after time of having to wear shirts four sizes too big, never able to show her real self. All of the times she had to use her sea-foam green hair, running sleek all the way down to her slim waist, to cover her large, peaked ears and her pronounced underbite. Every day having to wear thick black sunglasses to hide her pupil-less eyes, paint her claws as though they were fake, countless other little things to hide all of her imperfections...
But for once, none of that mattered.
Her parents had never necessarily been rich, but this was Raidne's Sweet Sixteenth (she hated the term) and they were determined to spoil their girl, as beautiful as the siren she was named for. So they'd chosen- for Pete's sake, why?- to take her on a cruise. Raidne snorted irritably. Didn't her own parents know of her hydrophobia? She'd be too busy freaking out to care about the trip.
But...
The thought of freedom still lingered in her mind. Away...away from everyone who cared, every single damned individual who'd ever judged her. Even if briefly, the fantasy was nice.
So none of Raidne's problems really mattered.
And now they were trapped, awfully trapped at sea for an entire week. Raidne thought she had managed the first day with a decent amount of rationality, only allowing herself to break down in the silent comfort of night, without the constant stare of eyes on her form. It seemed that every other guest's attention was on her bright hair, and long claws and twisted fangs ensnared by straggled-looking braces desperate to keep their hold. Only under the cover of darkness could she reveal herself, alone in a tiny room with not a wink of light save a tiny porthole far above. Already her claustrophobia was kicking in; her eyes, pure white though not yet emitting sodium chloride mist and with vision clear and sharp, were constantly scanning the room for any signs of movement. But the only sounds were her own breathing and the rustling of the sheets against her thin fur, and after nearly an hour, Raidne felt safer. Still she took a small eternity to relax enough to sleep, her anxiety pushing her mind into overdrive. That night the few minutes of sleep she snatched were fitful and restless, and once a wave slapped against the metal hull of the boat, which conjured in her mind a thousand things and made her so afraid she couldn't sleep until dawn's gray light pierced her room (she had begun to think of it as a cell).
Upon waking, Raidne felt oddly optimistic despite her lack of sleep, in almost direct contrast to her usual dour mood. After running a quick brush through her tangled hair and readjusting the two feathers tied around her left wrist- one for each of her parents, she thought fondly, glancing at the slim black feathers- Rai cautiously stepped out of her room and into the hall. Breakfast was fine, and the day even better- she remained alone in her room, reading quietly and wondering if they'd be allowed to swim once they reached the islands they'd left for. Raidne's family lived on North America's east coat, in Maryland, and they'd left on a week-round trip to Bermuda, deliberately ignoring their friends' warnings to beware the Triangle. To be honest, Rai had always scorned the idea of luck; there was no proof it existed, so why should she believe in it?
Besides, the day was bright and clear, and the sun so bright she couldn't help but feel almost cheerful; it was as though the world itself was beaming upon her, encouraging with the sun's smile.
The night slid over the horizon effortlessly, blending itself right into Raidne's seemingly-perfect day. For once, she thought she actually might enjoy the trip. Her eyes glazed over as she reclined in her chair on the deck, stars and moon blurring into the ebony of the sky, and no thoughts of death or despair or anything negative lurking in the shadows of her mind. Raidne was at peace, and that was all that mattered for the moment. As the night wore on and on, of course, she realized how foolish she must've looked and suddenly, how silent the deck seemed to have gone. Were there no more people on the dock? Looking around, Rai noticed a few, but majority had gone back to their cabins. She checked the watch her parents had given her for the trip; well after 1 AM. Blinking in surprise, Raidne stood up and stretched, then hastily began the retreat to her own tiny cell-of-a-room, a bit embarrassed that she'd stayed out so late and a bit anxious of being caught.
She never made it back to that room.
A young Kiamara dashed past her, long brown hair whipping past her shoulder as a greyish blur accompanied it. She watched with curiosity as he staggered to a halt beside a more elderly-looking Kiamara, dark red with a graying muzzle, who she assumed to be the captain. "Ellsburg, sir!" the younger Kia panted. "The- the engine room's on fire! One of the boilers must have- must have burst! We have to-" He broke off, wheezing, and Raidne felt a flash of sympathy for the slender male. Thankfully, the captain- Ellsburg- immediately caught what the younger Kia meant.
"Everyone evacuate the ship!" he roared, pointing to the pale green female beside him, and the blue-and-gold male a bit farther away. "You two, go search the ship. Bring out as many folks as you can. I'll go too. And-" He broke off, glanced at the male beside him, and added, "For Pete's sake, Beran, take a rest. No, don't follow us!" he concluded sharply as the brown Kia cried out in protest. Then he hesitated and looked at Raidne. A ghost of fear seemed to pass over his face before evaporating. "We need someone to man the lifeboats," he informed her gravely. "You'll do for the job."
Though Rai's eyes opened wide in shock and silent opposition, she just nodded and sprinted down the deck, waiting for other Kias to arrive. Four to a boat, she told herself. No. Five? Five. And women and children first.
She didn't get long to load anybody on- two lifeboats had broken away before the ship's entire hull exploded.
The ball of fire that erupted out of seemingly nothing was first shocking, then terrifying, to Raidne. As soon as reason seized her mind again, she forced her limbs to move, forsaking the life of others- to which she felt a flash of guilt- to vault over the railings and sink into the freezing green-blue waters below. Wave after wave rolled over her head, but at least the water kept her safe from the explosive heat as ash, embers and other worse things began to rain from the sky. A large slab of white wood from the ship smacked into the water beside Raidne, and though it was hot enough to sear her paw pads, the water kept it from setting itself aflame, so she hauled herself onto it and broke away, as fast as she could.
It was a long time before Raidne realized what must have happened, and then two things crossed her mind.
My parents could be dead.
And we hit the Bermuda Triangle.
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Where was she?
Her life was flashing before her eyes, First she saw herself so much younger, ten or more years ago; singing the first song she'd memorized, Twinkle Little Star, and charming her family and friends. A few years seemed to flip by like book pages, and then her, beginning middle school; leaving her parents, gazing at them with pure white eyes before turning to leave. She could remember the anxiety twisting her stomach, wringing it like a towel and leaving her to dry. Becoming popular because of her slim build and long, pretty nails, her flaws disregarded for her apparent "beauty". She'd had friends, success, everything. Her career as a young singer was flourishing; her brilliant academic scores had her pegged for the Ivy League. She remembered in particular having an interest in aerodynamics, remembered striving for a degree in its branch of science. Then high school. She could see that, too; it hadn't been much worse. A bit, as there were more bullies and more teasing, more anxiety and OCD showing up in nearly every scenario, but she'd kept it under control. All of that stress had caused her to be pessimistic, grumpy, and dark.
Where was she now?
Am I dead?
The fact that she could think seemed to prove no. For that, at least, she thought she could be thankful. Wasn't it good to be alive?
And then the memories, the recent ones, all came flooding back.
I am Raidne, and my life was already messed up. I had to hide my every imperfection but I had what I wanted. My name is Raidne, and now I am an orphan.
Now I have nothing.
Where would she be? According to the information from her eyes, which seemed blurrier than before- had her eyesight ever been this bad?- she was in the sea. The endless sea, over an expanse of thousands of miles, leaving her stranded....but...the wood. Her claws were still digging deep into the white slab of wood, and she seemed to be bumping against something. When she twisted her neck around and craned her head up, she saw- boulders? Large boulders, rising out of the bottom of the sea. For a brief time, Raidne remembered, she had trained as a Girl Scout. She knew how to survive in the wild, if she could employ the knowledge. Fishing would be a bit hard, but she could do it, right?
Did she even want to survive out here?
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Two years passed uneventfully....well, that's not the entire truth. Two years passed of Raidne slowly sinking to insanity, still hiding her flaws on the surface- letting her hair dangle over her ears and face, concealing her physical imperfections, and perfecting the art of complete numbness to prevent her emotions from slipping, If anyone ever noticed the facade behind her mask...well, that was why she had to practice, wasn't it? Her anxiety had reached its peak; her OCD was driving her off the edge, with all of the world's asymmetry and irony following in her trail. Depression had sunk in from the loss of her parents, and her health was declining as well; her eyes had begun to emit a very thin, peculiar white mist and her teeth were crooked, tongue slimy and horns nicked in places.
She was no longer beautiful, she had no friends, and what did a fancy degree on paper mean out here in the complete wild?
Raidne felt hopeless. For two years, not a single happy emotion had crossed her mind. Did concentration count? She wasn't sure...she'd trained herself out of hope, out of happiness. There was nothing left in her to possibly be happy about. Nothing left to hope for.
But then why did the sight of a tiny dot on the horizon make her heart swell with such a peculiar feeling?
She knew it was probably a wave. No, definitely a wave. It had to be a wave- no ships had passed in two years, not since the wreck of the one she'd been on. Yet the shape drew closer, and gradually confirmed itself to be a ship. Now there was nothing but fear in Raidne's heart. How....how? How could a ship come here? She could do nothing but hide, against her every instinct. They'd think she was a wild beast, or extremely ugly at best; there was no chance they'd take her back. None at all. So it was best to stay hidden.
But if she eavesdropped on them, for she had noticed an animosity among three sailors on the ship, it wasn't her fault...
"I'm telling you, there were no survivors!" barked the one closest to her, a male with thick, inky black fur. His female companion beside him, blue fur pale as the moon, shifted.
"There had to be- well, there was that one lifeboat," she corrected. "Only two survived their burns, but...They still count, right?"
"Hmph," muttered the first Kia. "Very optimistic, Espero. There's going to be no one here, I'm telling you."
"But-" interjected the final Kia, another male with orange-and-gold fur. "Well, that's not exactly our job, is it? Looking for survivors, I mean. They caught the guy who did it- what else can they do?"
Now the female, Espero, spoke again. "Urre, they're not sure he did it- well- they ruled him guilty, but he said he knew nothing of the fire."
Though they continued speaking, their words were nothing in Raidne's ears; her senses seemed blocked, everything a dull buzz as one thought repeated itself over and over again.
It was on purpose.
The fire was on purpose.
Someone did it on purpose.
And I have a feeling the purpose was me."you can tell me what to say;
you can tell me where to go
but i doubt that i would care,
and my heart would never know""if i make another move
there'll be no more turning back
because everything will change and it all will fade to black"
a bit about me;
Hello, mango! <33 I'm The One & Only Vapor; most commonly known as Vapor or, more formally, TOAOV. At this moment in time, I own 5 Kiamaras, and love them all- my two Rins, and sweet Mallea, and darling little Déia and my charismatic nature-boy Pillangó. Save for perhaps children, I seek no other Kiamaras aside from Raidne here, and would adore her just as much as the others- constant sketches (like i haven't already been doing that...!) and roleplays and...well, I'm getting ahead of myself. What I'm saying is that I'm an experienced and loving owner and would love nothing more than to be able to call Raidne mine. <3
"will tomorrow ever come?
will i make it through the night?
will there ever be a place
for the broken in the light?""am i hurting?
am i sad?
should i stay, or should i go?
i've forgotten how to tell. did i ever even know?"
why i want her;
Well, I'm sure my answers are as any's would be: my love for her design, personality, and generally her character. Many would concur that her edits lend her anything but beauty; I see only development and a challenge here, and thusly digress. The question is not why she was made to be so unattractive, but rather what problems it causes her, how she goes on living. From this single thread, as I often do, I wove a web of a complex character: Raidne, the siren of pure accident, the hydrophobic mermaid abandoned at sea, her tale the epitome of irony as she is befallen of a sickness, a shipwreck and a shadow. I could've branched out from here and applied this to any character I desired, even created my own- but I chose her. This Kiamara is a vessel for my idea and I am the wind in its sails, driving Raidne to a place better than an empty design, more than pictures on a screen. Rai's character has developed meaning to me. Her personality bears traces of mine: stubborn, pessimistic, with OCD and anxiety- giving us a touchstone, a cap-all to relate to. When I intertwine myself with characters, I connect with them that much more. And her design, the skeletal beast with glowing eyes and too-long nails and a serpentine mouth and six mysterious sea-foam green feathers? All of it added to my idea for Raidne. The scientific explanations for her eyes, her fur, her body as a whole? I've never quite had so much fun researching crap. I love Raidne, plain and simple, character and color colliding in what is simply a radiant stroke of idea.
...Eh, I'm rambling, I suppose. But yeah, I love Raidne. So much. Like holy crap. I hope...that...adequately describes it.
why i deserve her;
I don't know if I'm even qualified to write this section, because tbh I'm not sure of it myself; I love a character, and it happens to be this character, and I hope I have proven such to you.
• I wrote a lot about her quirks and personality. Character development is always a good thing to have established, right?
• I went more in-depth; her lifestyle, history, and even what makes her who she is. Soooo much research went into everything about her; it was insane. I hope that whole section explaining how she works is logical at least in part, which I think would be good to help me win her.
• Basically everyone ever, but...I love her. I love the character I've come up with. I love Raidne and her story and her personality and how /perfectly/ it ties in with her design. All of that, all of Raidne, I hope, will allow me to call her mine.
Yeah...That's only like 3 reasons, but some things you can't list; you just have to put them into work and words, which I hope is a task I've efficiently performed. Thank you for your time.
what i would do with her;
Should I be the one competitor lucky enough to win Raidne, I'd love nothing more than to feed her as much attention as my cramped schedule can allow. Whether that be with art, stories, roleplays- as detailed as writing a full-length story about her (and I mean longer than the history, which I know is long indeed) or as simple as answering a question about her on the fanclub- I want to give her all of the love and attention she deserves as a character. Even after the "newness" wears off, she won't become any less special. Though my dream Kiamara was my first, Rin, over a year ago, and I can't say if I'll ever have that feeling again...I am completely and totally in love with Raidne. Not just her design, but her character, too- so long after the shock of winning her fades, I will still care for her as much as I do now. Though you may not know it because I'm small and shy and lame, I love to write poems, and while I didn't quite have the room for it in this somewhat lengthy form, I'd love to write a ton of them about her. I had a few ideas, but of course, I couldn't go overboard, haha. So yes. Spoil her beyond belief, fully flesh out her backstory- and tell what happens to her next- if only I win,ah, as I can't wait to fully explain the presence of the shadow...
"can i take another step?
i've done everything i can
all the people that i see
i will never understand""if i find a way to change,
if i step into the light
then i'll never be the same and it all will fade to white"

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additional art; just the art pieces i didn't use in my form.
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