Hey yall, still semi-hiatus for now </3
However, with artfight coming back up, there's been a surge of motivation for me, and some news on me personally that I finally feel comfortable sharing.
First of all though, here's my artfight link! I'm team wither, and I'll do friendly-fire, and try my very best to do revenge! :D
https://artfight.net/~Lee_Studios
For slightly more pressing matters, prepare for storytime and a WHOLE lot of rambling ^^"
For so many long years of my life, I've been ashamed of the person I am, and my identity. I thought I may be rejected, or taunted. I felt inhuman. I never knew what these feelings were inside, and why I felt so different. Only a couple years ago had I truly learned of the LGBTQ+ community. I naturally pushed the thought of me being involved away and decided to identify publicly as a straight ally. I had to hide in the shadowy expectation of me fitting in with my surroundings. I thought I had to be super girly and do 'girl things'. It made me feel very odd with these stereotypes, because they simply just didn't feel like me. That wasn't the only thing I had been feeling off about. I started to see girls differently. That wasn't okay right? Because I'm a girl. At least that's what I'd been taught, and shaped to believe. It started with celeberties, then girls I happened to pass in hallways. I still liked boys too. It felt super confusing and I had no idea what to think. Eventually I came to learn that it's okay to feel these things and you get to come out as whatever you feel, whatever you want to be. I only wish it didn't take so many years for me to learn.
Last year, I officially came out as bisexual to my closest friends and peers. At this time, I still felt ashamed, as if I had to hide from who I was to protect myself. But as weeks and eventually months passed on, I began to adjust and become more comfortable with my identity. Other than my sexuality, something else seemed to press on me a bit.
For many years now I have been silently and privately contemplating the concept of gender, and my identity thereof. I finally figured out a few days ago that I was most certainly nonbinary. I've gone by she/they pronouns for quite some time now, but they/them gives me a sort of comfort that I can't quite explain. Feeling free to buy whatever clothes I want regardless of gender intention, and stereotypes, it is just unexplainably comfy. However, I still go by she/they, they/them, because being referred to as 'she' isn't terribly bothersome, and I don't mind it at all. Though they/them is preferred.
This may seem very out of the blue, but it's been on my mind since before I even joined cs. This site, this community is the place I trust most to be myself, and to feel whole.
Thank you so much if you got this far, I know it's a lot haha <33
I love you all so much, thank you for being you, and thank you for the endless support and love, you are simply amazing!! <3