I'm struggling with a constant burden of failure. I never feel like enough, and I feel like any worth I could have as a person is only by me being able to be successful in 'socially acceptable ways'
Add to that, and I feel so... like I'm being stupid because I'm so sad when plans keep falling through. And always feeling like I just barely get the scraps of someone who means the world to mes time.
Telling myself over and over and over again that it can not be helped and it is what it is still leaves me feeling so awful about myself. Shouldn't I be worth time? Shouldn't I be worth more than just scraps?
But can I be .. sad, or mad, or unhappy if someone is dedicated to their work? Who am I to say "Hey, can I mean more and maybe get some time that's not the scraps?"
"I would be nice to feel like, once, just once, I was chosen and not an afterthought."