Okay, so here's a story that I'd like to share. And although this situation is already over, I'd like to see the advice people would give...so please give advice and let me know what I should have done or what you would have done!
So, one of my best friends (we'll call her Cassidy) has a boyfriend (we'll call him Freddie). She has been dating him for around 8 months. All three of us are on the swim team at our school, and I started talking to Freddie at the beginning of the year. We became pretty good friends who talked quite a bit! However I had no intentions of trying to split them because I'm not interested in him that way.
Anyway, it got to a point where he told me that he could tell me anything. So one day, he was talking to me and all of a sudden said, "I have to get something off my chest. If I tell you this you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Cassidy." So I promised, because I didn't think it was going to be that bad. But let me tell you, I was wrong.
He said to me that he thinks I'm hot and wants to have (I'm going to say this because it's less uncomfortable) *smex* with me. I was surprised. And I'm really naive to boys, so at first I told him that it was okay and it's normal for guys to want to have smex with other girls, as long as they don't act upon it. So then I was freaking out, and I texted my friend, and she said a guy shouldn't want to do that with any other if he has a girlfriend. And when I told her it was Freddie who told me this, she told me I had to tell Cassidy and that Freddie is an awful guy for this.
At this point, I was really conflicted. I didn't want to break Freddie's trust any more than I already had, because he has trust issues, and so does Cassidy. And I was afraid that if I told Cassidy, she would be devastated, or believe him over me and not be my friend anymore. So I took a day to think about it and talk about it with my friend. I decided to ask Freddie a couple more questions the next day to get to the bottom of what he meant. Ultimately, the result of those questions was that he asked me because he wanted me to say that I would do it with him. I also asked him that if I said yes, would he still do it with me while dating Cassidy. And he said yes but that he felt bad for saying that. He also added that he thought it would be "fun".
After this, I decided Cassidy has to know what's happened. But I thought it would be safest to go to Freddie first and I asked him to tell Cassidy. Because she would know it's the truth if he told her.
So he told her.
And Cassidy came to me saying "why didn't you tell me sooner" and I had to explain the situation I was put in and how hard it was for me to choose what to do. I went to thank Freddie for telling her, but then she mentioned something about a dream. And I was like, "what?" and she told me that Freddie said that he had a
dream about having smex with me. Which was a complete lie.
So then I told her the truth.
She was extremely conflicted as well, but she understood why I didn't tell her sooner and what position he put me in.
In the end, she talked to him about it and she decided to give him one more chance because he said that he feels really bad for it. And she told him to apologize to me. (He never did).
So after all this is over, I still think about it because Freddie and I are still friends and Cassidy and I are even closer. But, I still wonder if I made the right choice, and if Cassidy is making a good choice to stay with him. Because my friend said that Freddie is not a good person for this and doesn't deserve a second chance. But I just don't know how to feel. But I support Cassidy no matter what.
Anyway, I hope this story was interesting. Thanks for any comments! Maybe I'll get over it soon
