Dear you know who you are,
Honestly I don't anymore... I think it's gone. I expected this from the beginning, though.
I don't know what I was holding on to...?
I thought I had everything with you, but now I just look at your name and another bit of my heart breaks.
I hope your happier with her, because I know I didn't do a very good job of putting my feelings out there
I lost you in a fair fight. Even though I doubt I had anything in the first place...
My newest friend,
I haven't given the slightest bit of acknowledgement to the one who kept me from drowning with three words, 'I need you'. They gave me a purpose, set me on a new path. I need to be there for them just like they've been here for me, even if it's only been a short time since I've known them, but this short time has probably been the most painful.
I was so caught up in someone and everyone else who only said they cared more than they really did, I put you on a back burner and all you did was smile... Who does that? He was fine with me ignoring him, and when I finally had the courtesy to text him back all he said was
'I was just waiting on you to find yourself and realize that all the terrible people in your life aren't worth it. And I could've waited longer if you needed it. I'm your friend now... so if you need space, you get it, if you need food, you get it. If you need someone to just sit and hold you I'll be at your door in ten minutes.'
who could be more... knowing?? I don't deserve you, no regular friend does this, and I think you know...
I've told you I can't, and I'm not able, to be in a relationship right now, I told you that if I ever have feelings for you you would know first. And I wasn't lying. You're so sweet, so kind and for such a rough person around your guy friends you're so so gentle and caring.
I wish I could tell you to not wait on me, that in all honesty I don't deserve anyone. I've been broken, emotionally shattered, and there's so much crap in my life you'd think I lived on the set of Riverdale. I don't want you to wait on me, at the same time I can't let go.... One of my many many flaws. I'm glad you're here now, though. And I hope no matter how long I don't like you like that, that you'll be my friend. I don't know if those feelings will ever develop, but if they do I know you'll be there with that huge crooked smile that left me breathless when you gave me food for the first time 😂
Really? It took me about a month to realize, but there are a lot of people that I need to distance myself from and more people who deserve an apology in person... Starting with you, C.