by Spearow » Wed Jan 03, 2018 8:05 am
Ah haha I don’t know what to do with myself. ^^ I feel a little better after taking a bath but the stress is already creeping back. I’m so tired, and I’ve been so anxious. I feel guilty if I sleep. I get on here and don’t have anything to trade so kind of just ghost over the forums like a creep looking in through a window at people. ;0;
I went up to the city yesterday to pay my rent and bills, I have $25 and change left on my card. :3 I’m not even worried about it at this point. But while I was going up, knowing it was going to work out, I just started crying in the car. I feel so broken inside.
One last thing on my mind. I had to have my one and a half year old maine coon euthanized a few months ago, his name was Elliot. I called him my handsome prince. I miss him and I feel so bad for having to do that to him.
There is a community stray around here that would hang out with him, and the neighbors started calling her Ellie. Ellie and Elliot. I decided I would spend the money I would have spent over the years on Elliot, on Ellie during the time she has left. She is over 16... I know its illogical. But I feel bad inside, taking care of another cat with the same nickname “El”, when my El is gone. I miss my baby boy
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
▌▓
xxxxxxxxxx