by nymphadora. » Mon Jan 01, 2018 5:56 pm
dear m,
you broke my heart. i am in love with you. i have never felt this way about anyone before. the love that i feel for you is so genuine and beautiful. i still remember when you would gently kiss my forehead or my lips to calm me down and hold me to your chest to calm my anxiety. you were the only thing that could calm me. you were the one thing i had that at least gave me purpose. i love being your friend, and i am happy to be here for you, but it kills me everytime i see you with her. i know she is your best friend, but she loves you too, and i just can't lose you. you have been the rock in my life in ways i can't explain. you have seen me through surgery and my most vulnerable pain through anxiety attacks and depression. i gave you my whole heart.
i know you broke up with me because you are behind in school and struggling with depression, but it still hurts me every day. i wish you were mine again. i wish i was yours. i wish you would hold me again and kiss my forehead and tell me things are going to be okay. i wish you wouldn't hang out with her all of the time because it hurts me. i wish you would come back to me. i know you say we have a high probability of getting back together because you still love me, but you don't always act like it. just act like it. love me. break my heart. i don't care. i don't know that i will ever stop loving you. because for the past four years, whether we were in a relationship or not, i always came back to you. everything comes back to you. you mean the world to me, and i wish i could say this all without you breaking my heart or me breaking yours. i know if you ever read this, it would break your heart because you would probably have to break mine, yet i want you to read this one day. maybe one day you will understand how much i truly love you. even when i curse you out for being mean to me after the breakup, i still love you. i will always love you. maybe one day i will move on, but part of me will always love you and miss you because i gave you everything.... you were my everything. you are my everything.
[ i cried way too much while doing this, and i probably shouldn't have written it, but i just had to]
dear r,
some friend you are. what you have done is unforgivable. you contributed to the destruction of my happiness, and i hope you are happy with yourself. we have been friends for ages, and you threw it away over a guy that wasn't yours, to begin with. you don't deserve him for how selfish you are. i am sorry, but you do not.
dear h,
thank you for supporting me and trying to be my rock. i know you are popular and have other things to deal with, but i am glad you have chosen me to confide in, and i am glad you have let me confide in you. you are a great friend, and i wish we had more classes and more time together. you mean so much to me, and i wish i was better at putting that into words. i wish i could give you a hug and hug away the pain you feel. i wish i could make your life perfect. you deserve the world. i love you