⌈ how can I ever trust that you love me? | open

[O.G.]

__Fᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴘʜᴇss__
She called love's name, but it never answered.

Feodora could be swept away in the mornings, the kind of mornings long before dawn, before she could hear even Ethereal stir from her lonely, distant den and rush into the sleeping woods beyond. They romanced her with their quietness, their quaint and polite delicacy. The dark and moon-touched winds that had stirred the night's very core, as they died, would always ghost thinly through the open mouth of the den and whisper sweet promises into her listening ears during those dawnless mornings. In her lucid, half-dreaming states they would assure her of Cassius' love, would assure her that he would never let go.

That time had passed hours ago. The air was still now, crisp and cold and thick with the promise of heavy trials. She could not think of the weight that bore upon her when her consciousness would bring her to doubt her bleary memories of those tender, luminesced whispers of the wind, of course. She had no time for such trifling selfishness, such mistrust for her most dearly beloved. She had the weight of the pack to consider first and foremost, as was her desire and duty. Today was a big day for them all, including her alpha. Ever since becoming mated to Cassius, she had committed this day to memory, the annual Winter Address. It was important to Cassius and so it was important to her. She knew the stakes of the lean times ahead.

Her head draped affectionally over the neck of her slumbering alpha and her body nuzzled warmly against his, she smiled with only the slightest twinge of her hidden insecurities and turned her head in to gently nuzzle her mate at the ear. She hated to wake him to his responsibilities when he was so peaceful, so beautiful as he was, but it was her job to keep him functioning at full capacity. She had dedicated herself to knowing how much sleep he needed every night before he could undertake his responsibilities, how much time he needed and could have to complete his every task as an alpha. She managed him with the most loving dedication so that he could shine for his subjects, so that no wolf may doubt his greatness.

"Wake up, my love," she whispered sweetly into the ear she had nudged, finally uncovering him from the warmth of her overnight embrace so that the encroaching winter's chill could help to stir him. "Today is an important day, do you remember?" she inquired gently, her smile tender and patient as she laid against him. "Today you give the Winter Address to our otherwise fumbling pack." Her nose crinkled. A tease. She cherished each and every pack member, respected their strengths and weaknesses alike with a regal wisdom and elegance. She was eager to watch them all work in perfect harmony with the regulations of Cassius' address this season, eager to watch what her mate kept so perfectly together work in all of his brilliant leadership.

"You must not keep them waiting." She pressed her black nose tenderly against the side of his muzzle, a small kiss. Though her thoughts stirred already with thoughts of keeping Cassius on schedule for the day, of her dear Vesper's hardships, of conducting business with Freki, of finding a moment to accompany her dear Elizabeth on a hunt, of catching up with Finnick, of inquiring about the patrols of Erianthe and Rowan (and perhaps make another attempt at friendship with the cold-shouldered Erianthe, perhaps accompany Rowan for a short distance on his next patrol), of finding a few quality moments with her dear friend Ethereal, she could still curse herself to think that, in the back of her mind, she wondered with trepidation if Cassius would return her intimate gesture or leave her cold.

[gull.]

[⚜] 𝑣𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒

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[ scent: lavender & cedar ] ⚜ [ age: four years ] ⚜ [ rank: healer ] ⚜ [ location: den, camp ] ⚜ [ tagged: ethereal, erianthe, rowan ] ⚜ [ emotions: aloof ]
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vesper was lost in thought mulling over which part of the forest she would go to first, since all of the herbs grew in different parts- before her thoughts were interrupted by a chirping, charming call, that of ethereal. ah, the kind omega. vesper couldn't help but smile when she heard the fae's voice, morning, kind ethereal. I slept rather well, and you? lies. but vesper was too private, too scared, to let others know that she & freki were struggling, that she had any reason to stay up all night tossing & turning & worrying. her attention was caught by a glimmer of color, amidst the dark, late autumn landscape. the vibrant coat belonged to none other than rowan. the ever reliable scout. a small, sheepish smile graced her maw though vesper did her best to hide it. soon enough, erianthe was beside him. tail curled around her mate & an adoring gaze cast upwards toward rowan's strong, caring eyes. vesper could tell her fellow she-wolf's body language was yelling loud & clear, he's mine. the healer found no fault in erianthe. she herself missed the times when solace could be found in the sound of freki's approaching footsteps, when every word made vesper's heart race.

not wishing to appear as rude, the fae barked a sweet greeting, morning, you two. how are things on the border? vesper always made an effort to ask others about themselves or what was going on in their lives. she much preferred it over talking about herself. vesper felt somewhat guilty of her feelings toward rowan. erianthe obviously loved him, and she saw the look in rowan's eyes when he saw her, there was love there despite what anyone said. but freki found no use for his mate anymore.. perhaps vesper was in search of a feeling? perhaps she wanted to feel how she did when she & freki were young & in love. was excitement what she needed? the rush of new love? would she be doomed to a life of running from one soul to another, one adrenaline high to the other?

god, she hoped not.
but who can really understand their own heart?

[broken*]

name; cassius || rank; alpha male
age/gender; 6 y/o brute
location; den, camp || tagged; feodora

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night is the alpha's favorite time of day; he could escape into the serenity of dreams, where anything at all was possible. and if he couldn't sleep, his mind still reeling from the days events, or the future's worries and woes, he could lay out under the moonlight and watch the stars as they glittered across the sky. the nights were always filled with one of these two choices; he rarely had nightmares, luckily enough, so he either slept peacefully or not at all. the previous night had been the former; he had slept like a pup, sound and content, although he had gone to bed later than the rest of his packmates. that was one thing about him, an old habit he just couldn't seem to let go of; the alpha had to be the last wolf in their den, to make sure everyone else was safe and accounted for.

he was awoken that morning with a slight wince, feeling a ray of sunlight hitting just onto his face at the right angle to bother his eyes. before he had a moment to truly wake up, he felt a muzzle nuzzling his cheek, giving him a kiss. he didn't need to open his eyes to know who it was, his mate. the she-wolf who loved him more than life itself, so it seemed sometimes, and he desperately wished he could fall in love with her again. he wanted his feelings to return, more than just his sister-like love that he currently felt, and he knew he had to try. opening his eyes, he smiled into the gentle face of feodora, gently licking her nose in return to her kindness. "hello my dear. do you have any ideas about anything specific i should make sure to mention?" he slowly pulled himself up onto his paws, shaking the dirt and twigs out of his fir as he stretched out his muscles.

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[nocturna.]

(♗) Ｒ ｏ ｗ ａ ｎ

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( scent: spruce & earth ) ♗ ( age: four years ) ♗ ( rank: guard ) ♗ ( location: den, camp ) ♗ ( mood: surprised ) ♗ ( tagged: erianthe, vesper, ethereal )
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------> Hearing a stirring sound behind him, Rowan's left ear instinctively flicked backward to the source of the noise. He knew it was his mate awakening. He knew all of her routines, and her morning one was no exception. Erianthe stretched, rolling her shoulders before settling next to him. Her voice seemed... cold. But it wasn't new to the brute. He slightly turned his golden hues towards her, nodding his head in agreement. "Good morning." Rowan had to admit that he was quite surprised she had even spoken to him. It was quite some time since the pair had even been this close to each other, let alone on speaking terms.

------> Rowan eyed her for a moment, wondering what she was thinking. In the past, they shared almost all of their inner most thoughts. They were each other's closest confidant. He mentally shrugged off the thought, with a new negative one. Erianthe was mostly likely thinking of ways to snap back at him today. But the tawny brute was surprised by his mate once again. The smaller fae wrapped her tail around his large back legs before pressing her head against his shoulders. The sudden touch made Rowan's muscles tense up. Was this really happening...? His golden hues looked down at Erianthe resting against him, studying her for a few seconds. He could tell this act of affection from his normally cold mate was a genuine one at least. It was a few more moments before Rowan snapped out of his thoughts, realizing that he should return the act. Leaning over, the brute gently licked her forehead as he leaned into her. He had to admit to himself, it did feel good to be sharing this moment with her. The feeling brought back memories of their good times.

------>Their private moment soon ended almost as quickly as it had started. A greeting bark snapped Rowan's well trained ears up ahead. It was Vesper; she must have heard them wake. The white fae was kind, always glad to share a word with her fellow packmates. Rowan couldn't control the slight grin that crept along his maw at the sight of the lithe white fae. She had always been striking to the brute. "Morning to you as well Vesper." He replied. "All is well on my end. Nothing too pressing yet." Rowan's eyes traced over Vesper's form out of habit But he couldn't help but notice that Vesper was without her mate this morning.

[niko.]

e r ι a n т н e

《 Female || Scout || Mated to Rowan || Feeling;; guilty, flushed ||Tags;; Rowan, Vesper || Mentions;; open 》

Erianthe's heart nearly melted when the brute returned the gesture. It was wonderful, the feeling. At least it seemed like he cared- and that was all she wanted. For once, she almost felt all wishes of vengeance upon him dissolve. Love replaced it. However, the unusual moment was disrupted by a greeting from Vesper.
The fae was sweet enough for Erianthe to at least feign a smile at- despite her faux façade. Erianthe could barely see her illuminated gaze set on her and Rowan. The attention made her slightly uncomfortable. Though she could tell there was something going on between the Vesper and Rowan, Erianthe let it be. She almost pitied the poor fae- Freki was not exactly the most caring. Just this once.. The scout reassured herself as she let the thoughts pass. "Good morning, Vesper." The tan wolf paused, before recalling recent stats of the border. "Most things are quite well, thank you. I'd been attacked by a brown bear, a few days back, but.. Only some rather minor injuries- nothing that I needed assistance with.. All else is clear."
The fae almost cracked a grin at Vesper as she peered at her right flank, opposite of Rowan- it had a few small claw marks along it that had formed clean scabs. It had been during a night patrol, so she hadnt bothered causing panic or asking the healer for assistance.
Erianthe almost felt ashamed, bringing up the attack- mentioning it to Vesper before her own mate. She doubted that the brute would care, though. He had his own trials. More important than a trivial, clingy fae who has jealousy issues. Besides the fact that there was some feelings exchanged between Vesper and her mate, the fae could usually find
Vesper as someone she could speak to. The healer was always considerate and kind to all of the pack mates.
Turning to Rowan, slouching in slight dissapointment that her affectionate moment had passed, the scout murmured, "I apologize for the lack of earlier notice.." Erianthe sighed as she gazed at the sky. At least that could be a little excuse as to why she had been so upset recently- so perhaps she wouldnt have to reveal her jealous nature to Rowan. It was natural for her to be possesive of him, but she did admit that sometimes she goes a little too far. The pain would be a good excuse as to why she'd been so irritable lately. The sun was just peeking above the horizon- there was a dim light that spread over the camp and treetops. Turning her hazel optics back to Vesper, she tilted her head, "How are your herb stocks? Have they been well? I am always avaliable to assist you, off duty, though I am not very strong." The fae wanted to be more kind towards her.. She found the task trying, as she kept her tail curled possesively around Rowan, but she attempted a friendly look.

[O.G.]

__Fᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴘʜᴇss__
She called love's name, but it never answered.

Feodora could feel her heart melt within her chest when Cassius licked her nose, the perfect reassurance to her worried soul. She could relax now, she could focus now that Cassius had assured her that her fears were unjust. She could not help but feel guilty, though, that she had mistrusted her mate again. Though disloyalty towards her she was never concerned with (Cassius knew that she was his best choice in helping to lead their precious pack), she feared that he might be unhappy with her, that she simply was not what he wanted anymore. If only she could change herself for him--she would do anything to be perfect to him.

She chuckled warmly as Cassius sat up and unceremoniously shook the dirt and debris from his fur, dodging a few dried up and shriveled remains of a greener time. To help him look his best for the impending meeting, she sat up and began to groom his fur with careful detail. "Well," she began between licks, "you certainly must not forget to warn the pack that this early cold will likely mean a longer, leaner winter," she reminded patiently, continuing to systematically clean his smoldering pelt. "Which means you must encourage Elizabeth and Finnick to not be hard on themselves if they cannot provide for us as amply this season, and you must bid the others not to worry for their stomachs. You might mention a rationing strategy, which I am certain Freki can help you devise." She plucked a stray burr from Cassius' pelt. "You must address Rowan and Erianthe as well, informing them that their patrols must become more vigorous as to discourage any hungry packs encroaching upon the territory for food. You must make sure that everyone knows to report any suspicious evidence or activity along and within our borders. Though I implore you, Cassius, to be kind to any loners that may seek refuge with us." Feodora stepped back from her grooming of Cassius to appraise her work, drawing back in to make a few touch ups on some areas she was not satisfied with. "I trust that Vesper has ample stock for the coming season, but it might be wise of you to remind everyone to not partake in any foolish activity which might result in injury or illness." She stepped away from Cassius again, this time smiling in admiration at him and satisfaction with her work.

"You look very handsome," she digressed, dark eyes sparkling. The sparkles died, however, as she prepared her final suggestion, which made her stomach twist unnecessarily. She fell silent for a moment, swallowing as she pretended in cleaning a bit of dust off of her paws. She had to say it. It was always the conclusion of the Winter Address, it had been since she herself had been a pup. "It is also mating season, of course," she finally managed, repressing her meekness only until her next words. "Beyond encouraging the others to strive for a new generation, I was thinking that pups would be something that you and I should consider." She was more desperate than she let on with her quiet, timid tone and hopeful gaze. Truth be told, she believed that if she could bear Cassius pups, legitimate heirs, he might be satisfied with her. If not, she didn't know what she would do.

She smiled suddenly, shaking her head softly as if to clear her own silent worries away. "Of course, you mustn't think I require an immediate answer. You may think upon my suggestion as long as you like, my busy alpha." She smiled again, both warmly and humorously, and pressed her nose to the side of his muzzle a final time before nudging him towards the exit of the den. "Let us go, then. I am hearing a bit too much commotion out there and am beginning to fear our pack might start the address without us," she teased, chuckling as she stood and waited to follow her mate out into the camp.

.

[fiver]

F r e k i

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xxx✺ gender. male x age. five years x rank. Beta x tagged. open. x feeling. jealous, calm

The black coated male brushed his rough tongue along his fur, trying to groom it clean. his brown amber colored eyes watching his actions carefully before standing and shaking out his fur. Licking his chops Freki padded out of the den and watched carefully as he watched his mate speak to Rowan. A slight growl resided in his throat but he kept it nearly silent. He wouldn't disturb the peace until he saw the brute advance on his mate. He might not have eyes for her but she was still the betas mate. The fea was a pretty sight to see, and a part of the brute felt terrible for his feelings changing and would blame the healer for trying to find someone to fill the void.

"Vespertine!" The male called softly as he lowered his head some and tilted his muzzle some, tail flicking a bit. Just because he didn't have eyes for her; for anyone in the pack for that matter, but he still cared for the white pelted healer. Perhaps it was something he drank or ate one night that made his heart go hard, where he had no attraction toward any female. "How did you sleep?" Freki questioned her softly as he went over to Vespertine.

[gull.]

[⚜] 𝑣𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒

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[ scent: lavender & cedar ] ⚜ [ age: four years ] ⚜ [ rank: healer ] ⚜ [ location: den, camp ] ⚜ [ tagged: erianthe, rowan, freki ] ⚜ [ emotions: annoyed ]
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vespertine watched rowan as he scanned her figure. the fae couldn't help but feel satisfied with herself. though, it was wrong. she quickly snapped herself out of it just as erianthe responded to her question, I'm glad you are ok. you still should have come to me, it's fortunate those wounds didn't get infected. vesper worried about the smallest of wounds. you could never be too sure about the severity of injuries. she considered erianthe's offer for a moment, oh, thank you, kind erianthe. I appreciate the offer, but I can probably get my dear mate to help me.. if he ever wakes up, that is. she chuckled quietly, hoping it hid the despair in her voice. her attention was snatched away by a voice. her mate's voice. freki was awake. the fae sighed, she could still remember when her heart leaped at the sound of her name being called. now it lurched.

he was jealous, she could tell. but why? he didn't want her, why did he care? was it that if he didn't want her no one else could have her? she scoffed at the idea. the fae wished to keep up appearances though, so she faked a smile and wagged her tail sweetly as freki made his way over to her. morning, dear freki. I slept quite well. how about yourself? she held in her urge to growl disapprovingly toward him. vesper's mind shifted to the meeting. would cassius urge she & freki to produce pups? her skin crawled at the idea. she loved the old freki, not this version of him. he was cold & emotionless. he didn't care for anyone, especially not her. he was the last person she wanted pups with. hopefully feo had spoken to cassius about it, so he wouldn't mention it.

the sun was rising over the horizon. she was beginning to wonder what was taking feo & cassius so long, until she noticed her sister's equally as snowy pelt emerge from her den, along with cassius. she noticed that feo looked happy as she gazed upon her mate. the she-wolf found contentment in her sister's happiness. though she did wonder why she & freki couldn't share the same happiness.

[nocturna.]

(♗) Ｒ ｏ ｗ ａ ｎ

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( scent: spruce & earth ) ♗ ( age: four years ) ♗ ( rank: guard ) ♗ ( location: den, camp ) ♗ ( mood: surprised ) ♗ ( tagged: erianthe, vesper, freki )
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------> Rowan's golden hues darted back and forth between his mate, Erianthe sitting next to him, and Vesper the healer, in front of the seated pair. Having the two faes between him was a bit of a rush this early in the morning, and the brute was now fully awake. His excitement was only tamed when Erianthe began to speak of her own recent experience on patrol. His golden orbs widened as the fae told a tale of a run in with a brown bear. Rowan surprisingly felt a small pang of regret well up in his chest; regret that she didn't feel comfortable enough to tell him about getting hurt. But then again... why would she? The tawny brute quickly responded to Erianthe's soft apology with a subtle nod and eased his side against hers once more.

------> Following suit, Rowan turned his attention back towards the group conversation. Erianthe wanted to keep up appearances, and for the time being, he'd grant her that. He felt it was the least he could do. The brute's gaze landed upon Vesper once more as she spoke kindly to Erianthe. He traced over her form once more as the white pelted fae poked fun at her sleeping mate. However... Rowan detected that the joke may have been forced. The notion instinctively created a sly grin across his maw.

------>Speak of the devil... Rowan's ears pricked backwards upon hearing the bark of the Beta, Freki. The dark brute quickly closed the gap between him and the small group. He seemed on edge. Was it he who made Freki nervous? The idea tickled him. Presently feeling quite mischievous, the tawny brute turned his muzzle to the Beta. "Well, good morning to you too Freki." Rowan verbally jabbed at Freki, only half playfully. He couldn't help but stir the pot.

[niko.]

e r ι a n т н e

《 Feeling;; upset, angry, ashamed||Tags;; Vespertine, Rowan, Freki || Mentions;; Feodora, Elizabeth 》

Upon sensing a trace of a strong feeling emitted from Rowan, Erianthe shuddered. Huh? Her mind questioned. She had previously figured that Rowan wouldnt care- she guessed that she was incorrect. Feeling him press up against her flank, the scout smiled a little bit, but didnt react any more. The rested hazel orbs noticed that the only one that they ever looked to had wandering eyes. Wandering eyes for Vespertine. He was taking in the white healer's form - he never regarded her in that nature! Fur rising on the back of her neck, the fae's maw rose into a slight snarl- however, it was only aimed towards her very own mate. That... That's enough of that. If Freki were out here, Im sure he would be with me on this..
The fae then only briefly turned her angry gaze towards Vespertine. She knew that something had been going on between her and that rotten traitor she had titled as her own mate. "Please excuse me for a moment," Shoulders tensing up, Erianthe glared at the ground before storming off to a small crevice behind her shared den. The same foul den that her mate slept in- not that she could bring herself to sleep anywhere near him, of course.
Upon arriving, Erianthe leaned her head on the back end of the den and her shoulders loosened up. They then began to slouch, breaking the excellent posture that the tan fae had always mantained. To make herself look good. To make her mate look good. To make her future.. Pups. The now crying fae sniffled, laying down in order to swipe a dry paw along her face. Pupspupspupspupspups. She'd forgotten- it was almost breeding season. Her heart shattered into tiny pieces. Erianthe knew that she had to keep the generation going- but did Rowan even want pups? Did he even love her? Rowan was a tough nut to crack. The fae sometimes couldnt tell what he wanted with her. What could she do to make him love her like he loves all of the other faes he has eyes on? Whining, the scout eventually gave in, laying down to throw herself a small pity party. And an embarassment-hatred-anger party, wherever that fit in. She had made a fool of herself.
Im so terrible.. And many more thoughts of self hatred rushed through her head. He probably wants pups with Vespertine... Or... Her heartrate quickened, Feodora. He obviously had greater odds of leaving her for one of the aformentioned faes, as there were two to court. Listening to the others whom she had previously been speaking with, she heard her companion Freki speak. Erianthe dearly wished for him to find her and give her advice- or for even Lizzy to talk to her for a while.
The fae sat up and straightened out her posture. Making sure she wiped traces of tears away, the fae went back to the group just as Rowan was sending a few jabs at Freki. Heartbroken, the tan wolf halfheartedly smiled and returned to her position next to her mate- however, she did not make any moves to touch him or get closer. Peering at the beta through watery eyes, the scout smiled weakly at him, wagging her tail to show her excitement. She hoped that Rowan would not notice and become jealous- but, at the same time, it was all that she had wanted. It was time to continue giving him the cold shoulder.
"Good morning." She then brought her careful gaze to Vesper. "Im sorry about that. My wounds were irritating me a lot- you were definitely right, I should have come to you.." She tried to make her voice sound as if she was relieved of pain- though, she was unsure of how believable it was.