"I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen." -Red Skelton
"I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her."-Red Skelton
"I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always."-Red Skelton
"My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”"-Red Skelton
"We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops."-Red Skelton
Looky!
http://www.redskeltonmuseum.org/