

Wait.. you think I'm oddly perfect.
I'll let you in on a few secrets.
Ever since I ran away from my family and my fiance, I have been plagued by things that only some people will every be able to understand. The first thing that became increasingly apparent was that I was incredibly depressed. Now, don't give me the "oh you only think you have it." I know I do.
For weeks I had a hard time eating, and sleeping; actually it was any basic function that I was having trouble with. My mind would wander into dark thoughts, poking and prodding about how I wasn't good enough.. how I failed my family. The thoughts, a few times, almost drove me to the edge. Its a dark side I hope no one ever has to see again. Its taken a long time, but I think I am finally starting to recover.
But there is one thing that I haven't recovered from. The one thing that still plagues me day in and day out would be my night terrors. Have you ever woken up dripping in sweat and screaming at things that aren't truly there? Do you know the feeling of shaking awake to only keep dreaming? I hope you don't. Honestly it is one of the worst things in my life, someday I see his face and the horrible things he did to me. Other days I see my family and feel the marionette strings around my wrists.
Maybe that's why I hang out here, I can drink til I have to crash.
Sometimes it helps, honestly... though I wish I didn't have to admit that.