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x☣xxR y l d r e exxH u n ' a t hxx☣
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☣ Male || 45 || Drow || Nirynda
☣ Location: Town Square
☣ Tags: Quilandrí
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Ryldree peered at Quil out of the corner of his eye when she offered the lessons on magic. It irritated him that she even offered, as always his expression was blank, after his childhood was filled with his mother pushing him to learn magic the idea was insulting. He knew she couldn't possibly know that, he just was wired right to learn magic. He knew that he would never be able to learn because he had tried so hard to learn. Useless in the long run since nothing came from his efforts and it became clear that he would never be able to use magic. Magic that he should have been able to use due to his heritage, a glaring flaw. A flaw that his mother saw as a failure and it was a large reason that she had abandoned him. Instead of outright turning her down he just offered a tiny shrug. She could take that as a yes or a no, it was up to her. To be honest he didn't have the heart to ruthlessly shoot down her offer. Closing his eyes as he took in a deep breath he started calming his mind. At the mention of family his eyes opened slightly and he peered at her once again. Family was never something that he really understood. His own had been interesting to say the least. That being said he knew that normal families existed all over the place so he could only assume that the family she referred to was one of those families. A guardian, a loving environment and a place to call home. He hadn't experience any of those things so he could only theorize what that would be like.
"I have to gather things from the forest anyways so I won't be meditating for long" he said simply. With that he returned his attention to focusing on his breathing. Only paying attention to each breath and stabilizing his mind. Allowing almost everything else to fade into the background. Emptying his mind of all thoughts and just focused in on his heart. Each breath in and out was a grounding and important step. As he allowed the background noises to fade away he made sure to keep enough awareness about him to be aware of what was happening around him. Small movements from Quil went unnoticed but if she wanted to say something else to him then he was aware enough to be able to pull out of this state to respond. It was especially useful since he knew that she wasn't going to stick around for forever so he would have to notice when she started to get ready to leave. Tiny little ideas tried to bubble to the surface, questions about non magical people and if magic could really be learned by anyone, but he squashed those thoughts. Pushing those thoughts back down and not allowing the light of day. They were useless thoughts and he wouldn't allow them to dredge up more self hatred. He had enough of that right now and would rather keep pushing it down then dealing with any of that. The only sign that he was struggling ever so slightly with meditating was a slight furrow in his brow. Otherwise to anyone who wasn't paying close enough attention it looked like he was meditating just fine, like nothing was off.


