'What kind of man wants a happy ending?
Not this one,'.
♫ Myrnin, Just Myrnin. ♫
|•Personal Information•|
|•What is your full name?•|
'Ah.. That's not.. My name's Myrnin'.
|•What is your age?•|
'Again, not very clear. I'd guess around 900, but my memory betrays me,'.
|•What is your gender?•|
'What are you attempting to imply?'
|•What is your birth date?•|
'Well my Vampiric Birth Date is - what, you don't know what that is? What do they teach you monkeys in school these days? I was raised as a vampire on the Twenty-Third of November, 1108.'
|•What are you?•|
'Well, I doubt you apes have that long of a lifespan. Vampire. Are you deaf? Blind? Both?'
|•Do you have any more details?•|
'Well..' He laughs softly. 'I'm just a little bit insane.'
|•Body Information•|
|•What is your description?•|
'Well, tall, with messy dark hair, pale complexion, brown eyes, and a love for bunny slippers'.
|•How tall are you?•|
'6"6'.
|•How much do you weigh?•|
'I don't know! Insane people don't tend to get scales! Uh, around seventy kilograms?'
|•What color is your hair?•|
'Brown, you daft idiot.'
|•What color are your eyes?•|
'Brow- Did I not already say this? I already said this.'
|•Do you have any piercings or tattoos?•|
'No.. Why..?'
|•Any deflections?•|
'Like I said, just a little insane.'
|•Anything else?•|
|•Personality Information•|
|•What is your personality?•|
'Insane'.
|•What is your history?•|
'Here goes..
I grew up knowing that I would go insane. My mother spared no chance to tell me so; I was, on regular occasions, walked up the road to the small, windowless shack with its padlocked door, and introduced to my dirty, filthy, rag-clad father, who scratched at the walls of his prison until his fingers bled, and whimpered like a child in the harsh glare of daylight.
I still remember standing there, looking in on him, and the hard, hot weight of my mother’s hand on my shoulder to keep me from running either toward him, or away from him. I must have been five years old, perhaps, or six; I was old enough to know not to show any sign of distress or weakness. In my household, distress earned you slaps and blows until your tears stopped. Weakness invited far worse.
I don’t remember what she told me on the first visit, but I do remember the ritual went on for years . . . up the road, unlocking the chains, rattling them back, shouting through the door, then opening it to reveal the pathetic monster within.
When I was ten, the visits stopped, but only because on that last occasion the door swung open to reveal my father dead in the corner of the hut, curled into a ball. He looked like a wax dummy, I thought, or something dug up in the bogs, unearthed after a thousand years of silent neglect.
He hadn’t starved. He’d expired of some fit, which no one found surprising in the least. He was buried in haste, with decent rites, but few mourners.
My mother attended the funeral, but only because it was expected, I thought. I can’t say I felt any differently.
After the burial, she took me aside and looked at me fiercely. We shared many things, my mother and I, but her eyes were brown, and mine were very dark, black in most light. That, I had from my father. “Myrnin,” she said. “I’ve had an offer to apprentice you. I’m going to take it, it’s one fewer mouth to feed. You’ll be on your way in the morning. Say goodbye to your sisters.”
My sisters and I shared little except a roof, but I did as I was bid, exchanged polite cold kisses and lied about how I would miss them. In none of this did I have a choice . . . not my family, nor my apprenticeship. My mother would be relieved to be rid of me, I knew that. I could see it in her face. It was not only that she wanted fewer children underfoot, it was that she feared me.
She feared I was like my father.
I didn’t fear that. I feared, in fact, that I would be much, much worse.'
|•What do you like?•|
'Bob, my spider.'
|•What do you dislike?•|
'Everything else.'
|•What is your power?•|
'I bite things.'
|•Other Information•|
|•What is your Theme song? •|
'Theme.. Song? What is this Modern Talk? Insanity!'
|•What is your favorite Quote?•|
'There are two things that are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity. And I am not so sure about the universe'.
|•Who is your crush?•|
'I..Don't have..A crush..'
|•Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?•|
'They died a long time ago,'.
|•Other?•|
'Are we done? Is this it? Thank God..'
