aurumlupus wrote:Nesossin raised an eyebrow. "Notice that whenever I try to constantly use those abilites, you tend to brush them off or become silent and withdrawn into self depression?" He asked. "I'm not good with people, at all. I'm not the one to coddle you and make everything bright and rosy." He said. "If you're acting like a fool, I'm going to tell you as much. If you're sitting here moping, what good will it do to try being nice and gentle? Notice how you only stopped that and actually payed attention after I was 'rash' or 'harsh' as you might put it." He sighed. "It's the only time you or anyone else will get their heads out of their own arse and listen to anyone else." He glanced at her. "You especially. You're so wound up on your faults and fears that you can't even take two steps without doubt in yourself and thinkin that you made a mistake and aren't fit for anyone's attention." He snorted. "You refuse to see any of the good around you that is always there. Did you notice the color of the leaves that adorned the tree that you were tied to?" He asked. "How about how te grass felt? How about the river? Did. You notice what species of fish lived there?" He shook his head. "Yes I'm wise and kind and gentle, but I can't deal with people. You guys always excommunicate me, because I'm different. You're doing it right now in fact, trying to figure me out. What exactly am I?" He looked at her directly. "You can't even just accept what I am or how I act. You have to question it and try to justify my every action." He sighed. "So no, I don't always want to use those abilites, for there is no reason to. The only way I've ever had anyone pay attention to me or accept me, is when I'm harsh and rash."
Sev snorted. "So crying is going to fix the problem?" He asked. "Good luck with that."
She listened in silence, absorbing every word that he spoke as well as creating a proper response. "When I become silent it is because I am contemplating what you have said. In my mind lay the words you have spoken and branching from them are possible meanings and further thoughts or ideas. This is not a form of self depression, rather a type of meditation that requires no change in the body, no specific posture or form. Instead of 'brushing them off', as you have said, I instead try to take the words to a deeper meaning than that which they appear to have on their surface. Moping, I have found, is a large waste of time and something that brings one backwards in their progress towards becoming a better person. It is a pointless and extremely selfish action in which I do not partake. I have paid attention to every word you have said, but at times my choice is not to respond because what I have to say is not useful; they are words of anger, frustration and do no good. My thoughts were not on myself, as you seem to believe that they were, nor was I wallowing in self-pity. Instead I was learning. As I sat at the tree, I did pay attention to my surroundings, yes. I looked for anything unusual, but had a bit of difficulty enjoying the beauty of the spot which they had picked when I noticed how much garbage they dumped and how much they had wasted. No, I did not take note of what type of fish swam in the river. I am not an icthyologist and do not eat or use fish, so that knowledge is of no importance to me. My intention, Nesossin, is not to exclude you, but rather to
include you. I have found that the more I learn about someone, the better I can understand them and what they say. With this knowledge the relationship grows, I do not wish to identify or label you as a 'person' or an 'it', I mean to learn from you."
The girl you just called fat?... She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly?... She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped?... He is abused enough at home. That guy you just made fun of for crying?... His mother is dying. Put this in your signature if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't re-post, but I'm sure the people with heart and backbone will. This is the signature of someone who has, more than once, attempted suicide as a result of being abused everywhere she went. Bullies murder. Don't stoop that low.Somewhere, everywhere, there's pain where'er I go. I thought life couldn't get any worse but wait - I just hit a new low. Why do I have to hurt so much, why the need to cry? All the ways people treat me, I just want to die. What's the point of asking why, anymore? All people do is lie.
"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating." Broken by Lifehouse.

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