☮♥Z wrote:Thorn pricked his ears when he heard the crying. Curiosity aroused, he padded closer. By the time he could see who it was, she had stopped, but he saw Renegade sitting by the pond. He heard a distant roar, and Renegade's reply. She sounded so sad. He walked out and sat beside her. "You okay?" he asked, looking at her with genuinely caring eyes.
Renegade shook her head, resisting to turn her head away from the pond to see who asked her. "No, I'm not really all that okay." she said softly in her velvety, melodious voice that sounded like a bird chirping its song in the morning. She sighed and turned her head, turning her sorrowful glance to Thorn. Her usually bright and cheerful beautiful icy blue eyes were dull and dark, tainted with misfortune. Renegade was a believer of spirtual things, and she felt that the energy that danced around her was sad, unhappy, dark. The energy brightened just a little when Thorn came, but it wasn't enough. Renegade's anger, her sorrow, her mental pain was too much. She shook her head slowly. "Everything always goes wrong. Nothing ever goes the way I want. I don't ask for much... And yet, nothing ever goes my way. Every step I take something goes wrong... I can't even breathe without ruining something! All I want is to feel important, needed, loved, but no. I can't even have a simple wish. Everyone else always has happy moments in their lives. Whether they come a lot, or rarely. Mine never come. Whoever is controlling my life obviously hates me wants to make me as miserable as possible!" tears welled up in Renegade's eyes and she blinked them away, one escaping down her white face. "I don't want to have a perfect life. No one's perfect. It isn't possible to be completely perfect. But I just wish my life could at least have a bit of perfectness... No. My life is horrible... I have no family, no reason for anything, no one who loves me... I don't even have a past! Without a past, I have
no future. My past is too horrible. I can't even remember it... What kind of tiger doesn't even remember their family? Their past? The whole
beginning of their
miserable, stupid life?!" Renegade almost shouted. "I
was never anything. I
am nothing. I will
never be anything important. I'm just stupid old me."