
PurpuraPapilio wrote:Bluetail lowered her head, wondering if Rainclaw could tell her how Starclan was. If it was everything every earth-bound cat dreamed of: no pain, no suffering, no wars, no death. Just a peaceful calmness. The Siamese dearly wished for some of that sometime soon.
Maybe, with Darkpelt...
She stopped herself right there, wondering, why she automatically assumed that Darkpelt would be infinitely happy with her and settle down. That really wasn't his style, but...He admitted to being really jealous when Rainclaw and her were close.
Was he just jealous because she gave more attention to Rainclaw than him? Or was there something else going on?
She glanced to the dark brown tabby, her blue eyes looking for...Something. She didn't know.
PurpuraPapilio wrote:Bluetail quickly looked away from Darkpelt, her emotions strung tight over...Well...Everything.
There's no was I can ask Darkpelt to be my mate...It's not fair to put that much pressure on him or put myself through even more pain. Rainclaw is just recently deceased and...He needs to tell me he's ok before I can move on with my life...I feel responsible for his death, no matter what other cats say. And I don't believe that Starclan has something important in store for me...I think I'd be happy to reach my Elder moons and retire, and die peacefully...
She wished she would howl at the moon like those dogs she used to hear stories about. How they sung their songs of joy and sadness to the heavens, she wished she could freely tell Starclan how broken and...Wrong...She felt without her best friend by her side. It felt like someone chopped off her whiskers, her tail and both her hind legs.
She didn't know how to cope with living like she used to. Bluetail sighed with defeat; from this point onward, she felt dead. Bluetail felt like a numbed shadow of the cat she used to be...
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