Disease (An excerpt from one of my short stories.)
Eyes opening to an unfamiliar landscape, blurry and clouded through my weary vision, I stumble awake. My maw dry and parched, my stomach empty and shrunken, and worst of all, my heart mangled and broken- never again to recover from shattering into irretrievable fragments. I struggle to escape the recesses of the prison which is my mind, trapping and torturing me with it’s all too real memories, and yet I can’t, because even though you can run from danger, and cower from death, your mind will always haunt you with the reminder of what you have seen. Images of him spark through my thoughts like still photos and short videos- some of the times I’d been fooled to believe, in my naivety, as being good, and mostly just what I now understand to be scarring and cruel, just pernicious ideas and occurrences or what once were. That’s when I recall one particularly stinging thought… The day I ran.
Too familiar was the snarl that erupted from his maw as he curled up his lip, and all to menacing were his teeth as they bore at me- Me, the one he was supposed to love. Now it seems like a disease, an emotion to rid your heart of and lock away at all costs, because it will slowly eat away at your mind until you want none else. It is a drug, an addiction, and an illness. Fatal and festering like maggots swarming a long cold carcass, and it is nothing more. Then, as his jaws met the flesh on my throat, I did nothing. I didn’t yelp in fear as I had long ago, didn’t beg for mercy for a wrong doing I had done in his demented brain, I didn’t even tense or wince as I had recently. I was numb to the pain, to the fear, and to the instincts that screamed at me to run, to flee, or to fight. This was normal to me now- sick and twisted as it was, this was not out of the ordinary. Neither were the fangs that dug into my fur and tore at my skin, sending a delicately bittersweet spray of crimson over his nose. When he felt I had been adequately punished, he twisted his neck and flung my lightweight frame crashing with a dulled thump to the hard, cold snow. Yet I was still numb as he burst out in a rant, cursing and yelling at me as if I’d tried to kill him. Now I wish I had. How can I say that though, because I know I don’t mean it, because no matter how many cuts and bruises and lashes and hits he inflicts, I have always loved him, and love is forever, and forever cannot be severed by the blade of a fang, regardless of how deep it cuts. Mostly I just ignore his verbal abuse, and I pretend as if silence spills out of his mouth as he speaks to me, but those four words he said to me that day made me stop and stare. “I never loved you.” He spits at me, venom lacing every single carefully uttered word as if he’d measured just enough for a lethal dose of his verbal poison- and it was just enough to kill me.
The feeling of his muzzle under my claws, his flesh slicing under the sharp tips, his neck snapping in my jaws, his blood flooding my mouth and making me gag…I hardly recall doing it. Those four simple words that started with ‘I’ and ended with ‘you’ triggered me, and I finally snapped. It was as if I had no control of my body as I lunged forward, and yet I know I did. I knew exactly what I was doing when my claws met his flesh, and it was one simple word. A word with the power to kill, and yet also with the power to satisfy all the bloodlust that courses through the veins of one who was wronged. Revenge. The only cure for the disease called love. Original story by Pride-and-Prejudice/Do not copy or steal.
An example of what I usually post:
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"Staying quiet is for those who don't care to be heard.
My voice is my only weapon and I will speak up, no matter the conseqence."
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øne more step... I think, clenching my jaw and trying to ignore how stiff my muscles are as I crouch lower into the thick, scraggly underbrush. I can hear the heavy footfalls of my prey as it nears the clearing in which I hide. Just one more step.. I urge it silently, waiting quite impatiently for the elk to move into the open. I try to stretch out my cramped legs by scooting forward, and end up resting my paw right on a small twig. I wince at the barely audible snap, knowing that if I heard it surely the elk did as well, and my worries are confirmed as I see it stiffen and wildly glance around. I curse under my breath, my blue eyes locking onto the large animal as it scans the trees and hesitates only a moment before taking off in the opposite direction- probably back to it's herd -and leaving me alone. It'd be futile to chase it now, since I know I can't catch up to it, and it's no doubt retreating to the safety of it's group.
Not knowing what to do next, I stand up, my joints cracking as my limbs stretch out. Note to self, never take the patient approach to hunting; it just makes you irritable and sore. I chastice myself bitterly, turning my head to cast an angry glance in the direction the elk took off, as if it were the fault of the trees themselves. Perhaps it was best that I hadn't gotten the chance to pounce, since I might have injured myself taking on a grown female elk on my own. In fact, I might have gotten a kick in the head and it still would've ran off, and yet, no matter how I try convince myself, I still feel stupid for losing a possible meal for such a petty reason. At least if I'd tried and gotten hurt, it would've been more honorable. Who I'm I kidding, I'll never get a higher rank. I think angrily. Digging my claws into the slushy grass, I stalk away from the clearing, trying to forget my terrible hunting skills for the time being and heading towards the river, where perhaps I can get a quick drink.
The further away I get from the clearing, the better I feel. My pace speeds to a steady lope, my paws drumming over the wet ground, soaked with melted snow, my eyes fixed on the edge of the treeline which is now a mere quarter mile away. The quiet roar of the river only made me speed up, eager to be away from the trees, and soon I reached the stretch of valley that seperated the forest from the water. The grass was so tall that it brushed my stomach, and I liked the feeling of the dew soaked greenery as it tickled my fur. I never like the forest, it always made me feel trapped, suffocated, and so I breathed a sigh of relief that it was now behind me. I rush forward, and soon the grass turns to rocks and pebbles beneath my paws as I approach the riverbank. I wade shoulder deep without a moment's hesitation, letting the chilly current tug at my legs. A shiver runs down my spine, not from the cold, but from the raw pain of a memory.
Adoff smirks at me and wades deeper into the calm stream. "Come on, 'Ki, you're not scared are you?" He teased, eyes lighting up with amusement as I took a step back and wrinkled up my nose. "I'm not scared, 'Doff, but when you said you were gonna teach me to swim, I didn't think you meant in the river! I'm going to get swept away by the current, squirrel brain, or did you forget that I've never set a paw in the water?" I retort, though my voice holds no anger, just friendly mockery. He simply rolls his eyes, and I can't help but smile. "You think I'm gonna let my best friend drown in a stream that, may I add, isn't even deep enough to go over her head?" He jokes, smiling back at me. "Oh fine." I mutter, trying my best to appear annoyed. I take a few steps, wading into the water, and surprisingly, it's not that cold. I can't help but smile as the refreshing cool liquid swirls around my paws and gently tugs at my legs. "See, told you." He says triumphantly, grinning like an idiot. "Oh, shut up." I groan, flicking my paw toward him and splashing him. He narrowed his eyes playfully. "I'd splash you back, but that might drown you." He teases, his grin still obvious. I roll my eyes and sigh, because I know there is no way to shut Adoff up..ever. "Fine. Can you just teach me to swim?" I say with a smile, perking my ears forward. "Anything for you, 'Ki." He says with a genuine smile, which I can't seem to find any joking or teasing in, and I feel my face heat up.
I sigh, shaking my head as if that might make me forget. I take a deep breath and dunk my head in the water, hoping it will hide the tears that are threatening to fall. I need to try to forget the past if I'm going to get anywhere in the future. That's what he would've wanted, right? I can only hope...I think sadly as I step back onto the river bank and shake my fur out, pretending that the water droplets that cascade off my raven black coat are my memories, and that with time, like the water that will evaporate, they will fade.