by owl0430 » Sat Jan 14, 2023 8:13 pm
T'was not that Lucas's statements weren't just, or that she was not listening. Rather that she wasn't sure what to think or feel in this moment, shifting from one possibility to the next.
Such an expression on Lucas's face when his gaze fell upon the stake at her ankle, however, made her gaze soften. In that moment, she knew that the chances were she could never actually use it. At least not on him. T'was an empty threat at best. It wasn't like it'd been made to be used on him anyways. She'd meant it as a defense in case Orion ever returned for any reason, or she ever found herself face-to-face with a threat of the vampire kind.
Guilty nonetheless, she looked downwards and to the side as she that foot behind the other in a too-late attempt to hide the stake from view.
That expression ... she couldn't decipher it entirely, but she did not like it. It had looked almost as if he was the one who felt betrayed. That he genuinely did care for her. He would not have told her if he did not care, if he did not feel some semblance of guilt for his role in the demise of Emberelic's legacy.
A monster would not feel guilt. Would not care. Would have, as soon as they had returned to the estate, locked them away. Our at least as soon as it was bored of them.
She was by no means relaxed, but the anger has dissipated- mostly.
"Theoretically, your words make sense. Tis not in your nature to risk the lives of your loved ones, or in the nature of vampires in general to spare their prey. Even when dying, I had to force my blood upon your lips before you dared take it. " Still pained, but softer now were her words. "A fate such as that that had befell Icarus' family would be far too cruel a fate for you to risk upon your own. Knowing fully well that, being of a far higher rank, the consequences would be dire at best. Hell on earth at the worst. "
Difficult it was to prevent her voice from shaking as the tears fell. To ensure she did not break down completely on the spot.
" I do my best to understand you, Lucas. Impossible though you may deem it. So consider then, please, the following; I've seen firsthand just what your troops are capable of. You were there- you know of the bloodbath that became of the Highguard estate. The cruelty they inflicted on the innocent there, that had nothing to do with Emberrelic aside from friendly relations and just so happening to be where we had been sent off to."
"And yet, even having seen that, I still chose to give you my blood. To trust you with my life. And despite the fear, the absolute terror I feel near unfamiliar vampires- any of them but you, really- I had been considering becoming the creature of my nightmares for you! To keep you safe- to keep our families safe! " she'd had the means too, with that vial. " to find out, after everything we've been through, that you played such a critical role in all of it...in the fall of my kingdom. The home of both I and Haruna...in what was likely the death of our sister?! Your soldiers were cruel enough at high guard- I dare not imagine what they had done to our home! "
" Tis a pain far worse than your fangs ever caused."
A part of her still desired to scream and rant, to curse Lucas' name. But at the present, she did not have it in her to do such things. She wouldn't- couldn't admit it at the present, but she still loved him. For some insane, impossible reason she did. Which made everything all the worse.
Nor did she wish to answer Haruna's question at the moment. She'd have to explain it to him at some point, but not right now.
Instead, she laughed. Quietly. Breifly. One hand moving upwards to cover her eyes.
" Y'know, logically, I've no reason to believe you do not love me. The arguments showing otherwise do not stand up to those that prove you do. So why is it that it all still hurts like so? " why is it that I still love you?