French Fantasy 1x1 Anna and Echo

[EchoOfShatteredIce]

Callias smirked slightly. "I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't even have that many children in the first place." He stopped Lucien by taking his hand, gently tugging him to his side. "I want to speak with you," he said, his voice gentle. He took a deep breath before getting down on his knee, holding on to his hand with both of his. "Lucien," he began, his voice soft. "I keep letting you down, over and over again with promises of being together. I hate myself for constantly hurting you. You deserve better than that. I will treat you better, I promise. I broke things off with Nadia when I visited her, when we decided it would be for the best. We will both continue to raise Elijah, as well as letting whoever we will be with take care of him as they wish. He will grow up with multiple parents instead of only two." His grip on Lucien's hand tightened a bit in nervousness. "I love you very much, and I wish to spend the rest of my life with you. I meant everything I said in the letters I sent you, and I wish I had never strayed from them. Please consider accepting my proposal and do me the honors of being my husband." He held his breath, too afraid of him rejecting him.

[AnnaCat17]

Lucien looked down at him stunned, gripping his hands tightly as he listened to his words. He swallowed his shock and allowed the first word that entered his mind to slip from his lips. "No." He pursed his lips for a moment, not releasing Callias' hands, before kneeling down on the bridge with him. He rested a hand on the back of Callias' neck and softly kissed his forehead. "Callias, you can't do this to yourself. You can't keep rushing about, falling into the arms of anyone who claims to care about you in the hopes that you eventually find someone who really does. If you marry anyone right now you will regret it. You will be locking yourself in a cage you cant get out of." He kissed his cheek, desperate for Callias to hear his words. "I love you so much. My passion for you is unwavering but we have never fallen into the correct structure of love. We have shared nothing but stolen moments and hidden kisses without ever the chance to just relax in each others presence." He kissed the back of his hand, his words racing out before Callias could push him away. "Im not ready to marry anyone, Callias. I do not crave your crown as Delphine did and I do not marvel at your rank like Nadia did. I see you, a scared boy who is desperately trying to find his way, and can not take advantage of that. I want you and to know that I am all you want but right now I dont think you know what it is you want or need and that is ok. I could wait forever for you to figure out what you really want as long as I know every day you are still choosing me and want me above all else." He looked up to meet his eyes, terrified of what he would do now and fearing that once again he would pushed away and left behind.

[EchoOfShatteredIce]

Callias flinched, hurt rushing through him. He tried to listen to his words, trying to understand why he was rejecting him. Humiliation and unhappiness tightened in his chest, making him want to run away from this moment. He felt like tossing the ring as far as he could into the water and leaving this misery of a memory behind. "I wanted you to know how I felt for you. How much I love you," he whispered, afraid to speak any louder in case his voice shook. He swallowed forcefully, hating the image of himself he had accidently imprinted in Lucien's mind. "As you wish," he muttered. He stood up, turning away and mentally getting in control of his emotions and outward appearance. The evening had not turned out as he had planned. That wouldn't mess up anything he needed to do before he returned to France. He wouldn't let it. It would be foolish of him to throw away his plans over something as silly as this.

[AnnaCat17]

Lucien looked up at him, feeling like a knife had been driven into his chest. "Callias i-" But he topped as his voice broke. He watched Callias turn his back on him, ripping all of the air from his lungs. He just wanted to be his only without everything else pushing in on them. He shakily got to his feet as he struggled to breath but somehow managed to force out the words. "How can you expect to ever be happy being married to me when you have always been terrified to be seen even just touching me?" He turned away from him and walked off. He couldn't handle being pushed away again, not when once again he was being told he was loved and wanted but his wanting to slow down was capable of ruining all of it. He didnt want Callias to see his tears, to see him as weak or incapable of fulfilling his duties. He walked past the guards and headed off to the edge of town, wanting to get away from all of the people and noise.

[EchoOfShatteredIce]

"I haven't been afraid of being seen touching you," he told him firmly. "I just need to know whether you want to be together or you want this to be over." He watched him walk away, resisting from wrapping his arms around himself to keep everything from falling apart. He wanted to reach out to him, to try to make up for this mess he had just made. But he let him walk. Maybe they just needed space. Maybe they should take a breath before speaking again.

[AnnaCat17]

Lucien didn't return to the castle for hours. He had wandered around the city, trying to avoid everyone and sort through everything before he could face anyone again. He wanted Ilaria so he could have someone to talk to that wouldn't try to push him into anything, but she was a days travel away if she hurried. He took a moment to regard the starry sky before entering the castle and going to the room that he was permitted to stay in during their trip. He glanced at Callias' door across from him ut didn't want to risk finding out he wasn't alone so just went into his room to try to figure out what he would do when he had to see Callias again.

[EchoOfShatteredIce]

It wasn't long before a knock came on his door. Callias stood nervously outside, fiddling with the collar of his loose bed shirt. "Uh, hey," he said, nervously. "I want to apologize to earlier. I reacted unprofessionally, and I am quite humiliated by it. I feel like I have displayed that I only want you in marriage and not as a friend or boyfriend. That isn't the case. If you are not ready for marriage, I am fine with that. I was afraid that you wouldn't think I was legit unless I proved it in a larger way."

[AnnaCat17]

Lucien stood int he doorway, looking at the ground, knowing that his eyes would betray his pain. "Its fine..." He muttered. "I think its just been a long day for both of us. Ill forget it ever happened." he glanced up at Callias' face for a moment, unsure f what he should do. "I dont want you to get hurt because you feel the need to rush into something. I understand that saying no again is probably costing me you so i...." He looked back down at the ground, feeling ashamed for being so weak. "I hope you are able to find someone you can comfortable with. I did a lot of thinking. I know delphine has been pushing you to be with me and I want you to know that Im not mad at you for loving Nadia. Delphine just doesnt like you took her toy away. Ill talk to her and get her to stop so you can try to just relax and find what makes you happy. Im sorry for this mess."

[EchoOfShatteredIce]

He frowned, feeling foolish for reading the situation wrong. It wasn't that Lucien didn't want to marry him. He didn't want to be with Callias, period. He bit his lip, forcing himself to hold his gaze. "Nothing about this has to do with Delphine. She's not a part in this. If you don't want to be with me, then just say that. If you don't forgive me for hurting you, tell me that. If I've been wasting everyone's time trying to get the two of us together again, just tell me that."

[AnnaCat17]

Lucien looked up at him, meeting his eyes in pain. "Callias no." He began to reach out to him but withdrew his hand, scared of what his rage would do. "Have you already forgotten everything I said at the bridge? I love you and always will. I want to be with you but I can't keep getting excited at the thought that finally you want me just to be tossed aside for someone else because I am seen as unworthy. If I could I would be with you but even now you are pushing me away because I voiced a concern. What am I supposed to think?" He gripped the door tightly, looking away as he tried to swallow his broken heart. "Im sorry Im not a girl, Callias. If I was perhaps we would at least be able to see what the other is really feeling." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the edge of the door, trying to keep himself together. "I love you and want to be with you but I dont think marriage is the answer when we have yet to even spend time as a couple and have only ever been an affair that has been kept hidden."