one x one with jae bird

[thingie]

madeline frowned slightly. at this point, she had a feeling that anything she would say in hopes to cheer him up wouldn't do any good. saying that he needed to be patient was something she should've directed more to herself. at the mentioning of his interest in their good, and bad memories, the young woman's shoulders dropped, her lips parted ever so slightly as her eyes fell to the brook beneath her feet. she couldn't keep it a secret anymore. it would've been better to tell him now than later. but she was so frightened to see how he would react.. would he be happy? scared? mad? it was honestly unpredictable. nonetheless, her heart spoke louder than her mind. "i'm, uh..." she felt a lump begin to form in her throat, mentally blocking her airway. she screwed her eyes shut, knowing what had to be said. she needed to put it all on the table. "joby, before the accident, i found out i was pregnant.. i didn't want to say anything because.." her voice faltered, a few unwanted tears beginning to prick at the corners of her eyes. "you didn't even know about it before the accident happened.."

[xiao.]

joby saw her sudden change. something was wrong, he just knew it. he looked worried, biting his lip nervously. he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the bad news or not now. he held his breath, focusing on the ground as she spoke. at first, his brain didn't process her words. "yeah, okay. so what's the bad news?" he asked, blinking at her with a blank face. then the words sunk in, and the realization struck. he inhaled sharply, almost choking. "wait, you're pregnant? like, with a baby? and it's mine?" joby's eyes were wide, and he felt lightheaded all of a sudden. he swallowed, putting his hands on his head. "wait... you're pregnant?" he asked again, as if he hadn't realized it the first time.

[thingie]

every nerve in madeline's body tightened through his reaction. unsurprisingly, he was shocked to hear the news, and a wave of nauseating guilt flooded over her like an oncoming storm. she should've been more responsible, more careful.. and now, she was having to break the news to her boyfriend about her mistake. instinctively, madeline buried her head in her hands, unable to look him in the eyes again, to avoid that same cascade of emotional pain and adrenaline. "yes.." she replied, her voice broken, but muffled from her lips being pressed against her palms. "i-i'm so sorry.."

[xiao.]

joby didn't know how to handle this news. he had a baby with who was pretty much a stranger, and they had a tiny apartment that he wasn't sure was even fit for a child. he didn't want her to feel bad though, so he shoved all his worries away, once again, and focused on her. "hey..." he reached out hesitantly, taking her hands away from her face. "it's gonna be okay. i-i don't know how to take care of a baby, but... i have time to learn. and i'm not gonna leave you to take care of it on your own... you don't need to apologize." joby held her hands in his own, trying to comfort her.

[thingie]

madeline was caught off guard by his touch, but it was comforting, something that she missed, admittedly. she felt like a mess, the last few trickles of tears burning her cheeks. she rolled her shoulders back, tilting her head back with a pair of closed lids as she took a few shaky breaths. she felt awful, throwing on this big of a responsibility towards joby, especially since he hardly remembered her, or anything about her. she wiped away her tears with her free hand, the black on her mascara smearing the small of her wrist. "me neither.. i knew it wouldn't have been a good idea if i told you later than now, so i completely understand how overwhelming this is to hear.." telling this to joby felt more real, made her realize what having a baby would mean. she wasn't ready to be a mother just as much as he wasn't ready to be a father, and, to be honest, it scared her to death, more than she'd allow herself to let on.

[xiao.]

joby closed his eyes briefly, sighing. "i- it is really overwhelming, and i'm sorry that the timing for everything was horrible. i'm- i'm gonna have a kid with you and i barely know you. and i'm sure you feel... alone. but.. i'm gonna help you, and you're gonna help me, and we'll work through this." he was comforting himself just as much as he was comforting her. truthfully, he had no idea how they were going to get through this. being a father terrified him, especially when he was so young and clueless. "how- how far along are you?" he asked nervously, letting go of her hand. he wasn't sure if everything that was happening so far was real, but now he did. and there was proof.

[thingie]

madeline felt the warmth drag away from her hand as he retracted his hold on her wrist. joby's words brought a bit of assurance, if any, but it didn't completely settle her anxiety. what did she expect? he was just as terrified as she was, although his circumstances involved having a kid with a total stranger, while she knew him like the back of her hand, or at least, she used to. it almost made her wonder how he would've reacted if the accident never happened, but that wouldn't have been a logical, nor helpful thought. she tried to swallow the oncoming lump in her throat, as joby continued. it had been two weeks since she found out, followed by two more weeks while joby was in the hospital. "..about a month," she replied, parting a strand of her dark hair through a couple of trembling fingers.

[xiao.]

when joby asked for the bad news, he was not expecting this. "a month? so... we still have time to prepare for it. i mean, it can't be that hard, right?" he was trying to convince himself, but he had no idea just how hard it would be. he had no experience with kids at all. he just wished he hadn't gotten into that accident. then maybe he'd have an idea of what to do. "i-i guess all we can do is prepare. do you have any family that would help?" he asked, feeling worried and sick and nervous all at the same time.

[thingie]

madeline thought for a moment. she had told her parents about what happened, and they were anything but supportive, ranting on about her "lack of responsibility," over the phone. so really, all they did was make her feel worse about the situation. she wasn't sure if anthony knew though, assuming that her parents would've talked to him about it, but if he did know, he certainly would've said something by now. slowly, madeline shook her head, striking up the courage to meet joby's gaze. she seriously doubted that it would be easy taking care of a child, but it was a challenge she was willing to take, especially if joby was there with her throughout. even if she was too scared to admit it. "if you want, i can give you more time to think about it.." madeline thought that showing her face around him any longer would stress him out, so she rose to her feet, giving him exactly what she offered. she was planning on going back to the apartment, maybe to paint, maybe to cry a little more in hopes that all of the pain would go away. if only it were that simple.

[xiao.]

joby knew they were on their own as soon as she looked at him. he sighed, biting his nail. he just hoped she had some experience with babies, because he didn't. but they were going to try hard and do as best as they could, and he was going to help her carry the weight. as she spoke, he looked up suddenly, frowning. he didn't want her to leave. if she did, he wasn't sure he'd remember how to get back. he'd probably end up sitting at that bench all night. "no, i-i don't need to think about it anymore... i'm sure we can do this... and none of it was your fault. if anything, it's my fault. i obviously was being careless.."