1x1 w/ balto

[balto.]

♧ Rowan was too far in his own thoughts to notice Kellin flinch although he spotted the movement out of his eye. Maybe he had been harsh. He shouldn't act like that; that made him as bad as the other people who bothered Kellin. He let out a mental sigh, forcing himself to look nice, though it wasn't as warm as when he first greeted the student. Then it faded away when Kellin spoke, his harsh tone not going unnoticed. Though, he didn't look angry, leaving Rowan to wonder what he felt like. His abrupt stop to the conversation, as if stopping himself from saying more, confirmed Rowan's suspicion he was upset. Understandable. He only knew him from how he acted in class, so it was no surprise that he was annoyed. And, he hadn't given him a good impression just then. Still, he didn't want Kellin to feel awkward - he was the one who reacted oddly, so this was his fault.

Rowan nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, the words hesitant and carefully spoken, as if he was trying to not offend the student. As far as he knew, Kellin was ready to walk away and never speak to him again. He didn't want to offend Kellin, but he didn't know how to respond to... well, anything he said. He didn't have experience with this. When he thought about it, the people he hung out with rarely spoke about their issues. It was usually gossip, small talk, some jokes. He liked it that way - Good weather friends never asked him about his parents or school, or anything else. They just saw him as the way he acted during class. It might've been shallow, but he didn't care. However, none of them were around, and he did sometimes get tired of the whole charade. He wanted to be nice to Kellin. If only he could figure out what to do. The only thing he could offer was to be a person to talk to. It wasn't much, but it was something, right?

[specters]

♘ It was very, very odd to be walking alongside of Rowan and to be having some form of a conversation, if Kellin could even call it that. It was more like they were talking at each other, and neither of them were really hearing each other. He supposed that he was partly to blame for that because of the fact that he wasn't really putting that much effort into speaking or listening. He was too involved in his own annoyed thoughts, and that caused some unwanted feelings to settle in his stomach. He didn't like feeling this way - awkward, guilty - and yet, he did. Kellin supposed that it wouldn't be that bad to try and talk to Rowan, who appeared to not be faking anything, though that wasn't always the case. Besides, he was actually trying. Kellin was not ; he needed to put more effort into their conversation, or else they would never break down the invisible wall that stood between them. If Rowan was willing to try, then he should be too. Though putting major differences aside was hard, it certainly wasn't impossible.

x"Kellin let out a defeated sigh, slowing down his pace in an effort to show Rowan that he wasn't going to try and run away from him anymore. "Not really," he answered, because that was the truth. But that didn't mean Kellin was going to continue shutting down like he had rudely done seconds ago. "I am sorry though. For taking it out on you," Kellin said quietly, hoping that he didn't sound in-genuine, because he wasn't. He did feel bad, and he was willing to try and fix what had happened. The brunette continued walking in silence, holding his breath, not sure how Rowan was going to respond. He half expected a rejection, given that that wasn't completely unwarranted. Kellin couldn't even reason through his rudeness at this point, he just felt downright guilty.

[balto.]

♧ Rowan slowed his pace, watching the male's expression. He didn't sound ungenuine, if anything, there almost seemed to be a hint of guilt. Although, that might've been him grasping for a sign he hadn't angered Kellin much. Rowan's guilt and awkwardness didn't fade but he did answer, hoping he didn't sound upset. "No - it's fine. We've never talked out of class, and I was rude," the blonde said, more processing his thoughts out loud than actually responding. When he thought about it from the other's point of view, he couldn't take offense. Being a teacher's pet meant he would be mocked at school, so why would he want to talk to another about his issues, especially some idiot known for pissing off every teacher in the school? But, that didn't make him feel less guilty. If anything, he felt worse. He must look like an over-emotional moron. He didn't care what the teacher's thought of him that much, but he cared about what Kellin thought of him. He didn't want him to have a bad impression of him, at least not without him trying to mend it.

But, he couldn't think of anything else to say, which left the two walking besides each other in an awkward silence. The blonde's eyes started to wander, as if looking for an escape or something he could use to start a conversation. Nothing stood out. He doubted either of them had mutual friends or interests, but the silence left him with nothing but his guilty conscience. And, if he ended the conversation there and walked away, wouldn't it be worse? Like he was trying to spread rumors about Kellin? His shoulders slumped, but he didn't stay quiet for long. He would try to tear down the walls between them although he didn't have much hope that the other male wanted to. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"