La Douleur Exquise (1x1 L.G. / Ember )

[Ember1989]

“Wonderful!” Tamaki said, beaming as he went over and started to play.

“How do we even start a fire?” Honey asked, confused.

“I have no idea.” Haruhi replied, noticing Kyoya examining the hearth.

[LadyGalleth]

KYOYA

I look up when I hear Tamaki's music. My heart flutters before I continue to look at the fireplace. There's the wood. Hmm. I stand up, running a hand through my hair, messing it up. Hikaru hope up from the couch, helping me get some wood for the fire. "Does anyone have a lighter?" I question, looking over at Tamaki and Haruhi.

[Ember1989]

“Oh! Here you go Kyoya.” Haruhi said checking her pockets and handing over a lighter.

“Why do you have one?” Tamaki asked.

“You never know when it will come in handy.” Haruhi said.

“Wow you must have really thought this trip over if you packed a lighter!” Honey said.

[LadyGalleth]

KYOYA

'You have gone camping before." I look down at the lighter, Hikaru taking it out of my hand. I've... never used a lighter before.

Hikaru flicks his thumb, and the flame jumps, causing us to do the same. He looks at me and shrugs, gently tapping it towards the fireplace. When I watch the flame spread and grow, I smile, standing up. I toss back Haruhi's lighter before sitting down on the couch, staring tentatively over at Tamaki's playing.

[Ember1989]

Takami continued playing.

Honey smiled at Hikaru. “Yay you lit the fire, Hika-chan!” He said sitting by the fire and warming up.

Haruhi made hot chocolate to help everyone warm up. “Hot Chocolate anyone?” She offered.

[LadyGalleth]

KYOYA

"Thank you, but no." I'm content with just sitting here, listening to Tamaki play.

"Please~" The twins sing, walking around. "It's a pretty nice place."

"A little small, but it gets the job done." Hikaru smiles.

I lean back in the couch, folding my hands across my chest and closing my eyes, hearing the sweet, sweet music. I'm taken back to the time Tamaki surprised me at my house- the first time I realized that I loved him. Oh. He'll never feel the same way. He's too obsessed with Haruhi. Tamaki... I didn't know I could ever feel this way. Especially towards another man.

[Ember1989]

“Yeah, I do miss going out to a cabin, especially in the winter. It’s so nice.” Haruhi said, passing a cup of the hot beverage to the twins.

Takami smiled as he continued playing the piano. He felt warm just playing. He was playing for everyone but he hoped Kyoya enjoyed it the most.

Honey accepted a cup from Haruhi and pet the kitty, who appeared to look sleepy. “So cute!” He said, giggling.

[LadyGalleth]

Kyoya

Sometimes, I honestly think the only thing to make me smile is Tamaki's playing. I love his playing. I turn my head to Haruhi and the small group when I hear them talking about the cat. Haruhi... I sigh. How I hate her sometimes. I hate her for stealing Tamaki's affections... I hate her for the way he smiles at her. I hate her for the way she has an affect on people. I'm so selfish. I suppose I should be happy if she makes Tamaki happy. Which she most certainly seems to.

I keep hearing her words in my mind: "It doesn't matter if you guys see me as a boy or girl." I'm jealous. Jealous of how freely this commoner thinks. How freely she can live by that, and not have the burden of hiding from yourself for fear of public image. Still. I smile to myself and stare up at the ceiling. I love Tamaki. But if he doesn't love me, We're friends. And even though that crushes every fiber of my being, I'll be okay. My heart tightens thinking of it.

That night. That night in Okinawa. When I so shamelessly threw myself at her. I was proving a point? But no... easy prey? If I couldn't have Tamaki... I would destroy the closest thing to him. He walked in. We froze. He had assumed the worse. I wanted him to walk in, to see me with the love of his life, to crush him so he would have the slightest inkling of an idea the pain I'm in everyday! I close my eyes and take a deep breath. But we can't always get what we want, can we? That much is evident.

Oh well...

[Ember1989]

Haruhi sat down, lost in thought. She still didn’t care if her friends saw her as a girl or a boy. At least they still liked her. The twins certainly liked her, Honey acted friendly towards her. Takami acted all overprotective. And Kyoya was always so distant. She often thought of the fact that she was in debt might actually make him smile. I mess up at the beach one time and he’s still distant. Have I done something to offend him? No it’s something else...

Tamaki kept glancing at Kyoya, hoping he might find the music relaxing after such a long plane ride. He saw Haruhi sitting with the twins but was more focused on Kyoya as he played.

[LadyGalleth]

Kyoya

I stand up, stretching a bit. I'm still sort of tired... I catch Tamaki's gaze on me, sharing a curious glance at him before I hear Hikaru ask Haruhi what we should do first.

"If it's all the same to everyone, I believe I'm going to stay here for a few hours. Settle in." I grab my jacket from the couch arm, clearing my throat before I smile.

"Senpai! C'mon!" Hikaru gets up from the floor, Kaoru scooting over towards me, making me step around him. "It won't be the same without you."

I stop and glare at the two. "I said.... no."

"Okay, well... you sleep then, bye!" The two practically run out the door. I nod, smiling to myself, traveling down the hallway. I move to the first empty room, falling onto the bed. I'll get my bags later.... fine Tamaki. That's fine.