Melt your headaches|Ryden 1x1 w/ chemicalwinter

[throam]

Brendon rubbed Ryan's back comfortingly. "What was that Ry?" He asked patiently, slightly confused. Brendon closed his eyes and sniffled again.

[ChemicalWinter]

Ryan shuddered and nuzzled into Brendon's neck, trying to catch his breath. He wanted to speak, but instead he just shook his head, deciding to dismiss the subject. It was a dream.

[throam]

"What is it, Ry?" He repeated, not sure if Ryan caught what he said before. He placed a soft kiss in Ryan's hair. He didn't care if he got sick at this point.

[ChemicalWinter]

"D-did... Yo-your p-parent-... Parents kn-know-w t-th-that y-you... You're..." Ryan winced and bit his lip. He remembered each hit, bruise and violent word towards him. He remembered it all. He never wanted that for Brendon, but he was scared. Ryan didn't know what Brendon's parents were like behind closed doors. He knew Brendon's mom was supportive. But was Ryan the only guy Brendon ever dated? Did his parents know he liked guys, too? How would they react if they knew their own son was sleeping with another man? Ryan got scared just thinking of it.

[throam]

Brendon knew what Ryan was trying to ask. He squeezed him as tight as he possibly could (without suffocating him). "No. Only you, Jon, and Spence know." Brendon replied. He didn't have the best relationship with his parents, after he told them he wasn't religious. Ryan was a reminder of how good Brendon really had it, though. He knew about his father. He went to his funeral, after all.

[ChemicalWinter]

"D-do you ever... D-does i-it... F-feel..." Ryan was breathing heavily and sniffling, trying frantically to manage his spluttering and wipe away his tears. He was a mess. "Does it... E-ever..." He took a deep breath. "Feel wrong?" The question was finally in the air. Ryan's heart shattered. He was made to feel guilty for having the affections he did. He was intimate towards Brendon, a human being of his same sex. He felt for Brendon was a man should feel for a woman, not for another man. Ryan was made to feel like if he wasn't married to a woman, having children and using alcohol to drown out his problems, then he was nothing. They made him feel like nothing.

[throam]

Brendon took a fistful of Ryan's shirt. "God, not at all." He said firmly. "This is love Ryan, there's no wrong in love." Another tear found its way down Brendon's face. It dropped onto Ryan's shirt and disappeared into the fabric.

[ChemicalWinter]

Ryan nodded and sobbed softly, holding onto Brendon for comfort. "T-th-they m-make it s-seem s-s-so-o wrong-g." He spluttered. His chest would shake with every breath. He thought he'd die of he let go of Brendon in that moment. Why couldn't it just be normal?

Dottie woke up and turned over onto her belly. She opened her eyes and slowly became more alert.

[throam]

Brendon could feel Ryan's chest shakily rise and fall, and he could sense the pain he was in. "They're wrong." He whispered. "Don't you ever think there's anything wrong about us." He didn't say it aggressively, it was almost soft.

[ChemicalWinter]

Ryan finally gave in and nodded, setting aside the memories of all the people who told him what he couldn't be. He was here now, safe, in Brendon's arms. He was home. They were a family. They were in love... Ryan sniffled and rubbed Brendon's back. He wiped away the tears on his cheeks and sniffled. He was getting the beginnings of a runny nose, so he tried to block it out by putting his hand over his nose.

Dottie looked up at Brendon and whined.