Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free."
"Jonas Cathryn, to be exact. And yes, I know Jonas is a 'boy name. Now shut up unless you want to be 'boy' punched in the face."
Despite her mocking protests, Jonas actually loves her name. It's from a song (Weezer all the way), and it's not girly. Which when you think about it, is pretty similar to Jonas.
"What exactly am I supposed to say? How do i start..? I'm not really used to having to talk about myself."
-Age:"I'm seventeen years young and already too old for my age. I've lived too much... I'm worn out already and that's sad."
-Gender:"I'll give you one guess. Come on, guess." Jonas is a girl.
-Orientation:"I love for love, gender plays no factor for me. So, pan-sexual I guess? Who the person is on the inside is the most important thing to me."
-Age:"I'm seventeen years young and already too old for my age. I've lived too much... I'm worn out already and that's sad."
-Gender:"I'll give you one guess. Come on, guess." Jonas is a girl.
-Orientation:"I love for love, gender plays no factor for me. So, pan-sexual I guess? Who the person is on the inside is the most important thing to me."
"Yes, I have tattoos. Yes I have piercings. They don't change me as a person, get over yourself."
Jonas isn't the type of girl to spend hours getting ready in the morning, oh no, that's precious sleeping time. You won't see her strolling out the door in some eight inch pumps, a flowery skirt, and hair in perfect curls. The only reason her hair looks halfway decent everyday is because it falls pin straight naturally. Her usual wardrobe consists of, well, what ever happens to be clean. That tends to be either some sort of t-shirt or a tank top and flannel, coupled with a pair of jeans and some converse or vans or her favorite combats. She's in no way a picky dresser, she just wears what's comfortable to her. If Jonas were invited to a black tie event she'd probably die from being so under prepared.
-Height:"What's the average height for a girl..? Jonas is a decent 5'5", but she wished she were taller.
-Weight:"Isn't it rude to ask a lady how much she weighs? Lucky for you, I'm not a 'lady,' so whatever." Weighing in at approximately 115 pounds, meaning she is bit underweight.
-Hair:Her natural hair is a warm, chestnut brown with natural highlights. But, Jonas prefers to dye it all a dark blue-black. And as previously mentioned, it falls dead straight when dry, but holds a slight wave when it's wet.
-Eyes:"They're nothing special.. I mean, they're eyes, they make it so I can see, that's about it." Jonas may have a lack of enthusiasm over her eyes, but they really are quite beautiful. They're a pale shade of grey, with just enough blue to add a small hint of color. Her eyes always give away her emotions, which make her a terrible liar but great at expressing things she can't say. The light in her eyes gleam like two pools of water; bright and reflective.
-Skin:"I am from the great white north, so I have an excuse for being as extremely pale as I am. Also, it's almost impossible for me to tan. I just burn. Pale, or red; those are my pigment options."
Jonas isn't the type of girl to spend hours getting ready in the morning, oh no, that's precious sleeping time. You won't see her strolling out the door in some eight inch pumps, a flowery skirt, and hair in perfect curls. The only reason her hair looks halfway decent everyday is because it falls pin straight naturally. Her usual wardrobe consists of, well, what ever happens to be clean. That tends to be either some sort of t-shirt or a tank top and flannel, coupled with a pair of jeans and some converse or vans or her favorite combats. She's in no way a picky dresser, she just wears what's comfortable to her. If Jonas were invited to a black tie event she'd probably die from being so under prepared.
-Height:"What's the average height for a girl..? Jonas is a decent 5'5", but she wished she were taller.
-Weight:"Isn't it rude to ask a lady how much she weighs? Lucky for you, I'm not a 'lady,' so whatever." Weighing in at approximately 115 pounds, meaning she is bit underweight.
-Hair:Her natural hair is a warm, chestnut brown with natural highlights. But, Jonas prefers to dye it all a dark blue-black. And as previously mentioned, it falls dead straight when dry, but holds a slight wave when it's wet.
-Eyes:"They're nothing special.. I mean, they're eyes, they make it so I can see, that's about it." Jonas may have a lack of enthusiasm over her eyes, but they really are quite beautiful. They're a pale shade of grey, with just enough blue to add a small hint of color. Her eyes always give away her emotions, which make her a terrible liar but great at expressing things she can't say. The light in her eyes gleam like two pools of water; bright and reflective.
-Skin:"I am from the great white north, so I have an excuse for being as extremely pale as I am. Also, it's almost impossible for me to tan. I just burn. Pale, or red; those are my pigment options."
"What's with all these questions? It's getting a bit annoying."
-Fears:Even though Jonas tries to put up a brave front and acts tough and fearless, she's actually afraid of many things. She's afraid of the future because she doesn't know what she's going to do with her life, which goes along with her fear of things she can't control. When she feels like things are out of her control she gets anxious and panicky. She's also terrified of letting people down. When she's doing something for herself she doesn't put nearly as much effort into it as she would if it were for someone else. Lastly, she's afraid of ducks... She isn't sure about that one either.
-Likes:Another thing Jonas likes to keep under ropes is her huge amount nerd interests. Star wars, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, countless musicals, you name it. Her favorite of course being Lord of the Rings. She also loves to read, fantasy and science fiction being her favorite genres. "It's nice to get away for a bit sometimes. Books help me do that.." Coupled with her love of reading comes with a love of learning. Science, English, Social Studies; she loves it all. Her second favorite subject would have to be psychology, understanding how people thought always fascinated her. That leaves her all time favorite subject, art. Name any type of art, Jonas loves it. Writing, painting, drawing, preforming, anything. Jonas loves all of it. She even plays flute, cello, bass, and electric guitar. Her last passion is, without a doubt, skating. Could I really be a tomboy if I didn't love skating? That's like, rule number one."
-Dislikes:"Oh, I like this part! I'm not a pessimist, I promise. " One of her main dislikes, which is actually more of a pet peeve, is being corrected. Jonas hates being wrong, but when she is she'll usually own up to it. But if someone other then her points out her mistake she will deny it and continue arguing her incorrect statement. Next, Jonas hates having to rely on people for anything. She's been independent for most of her life and that's the way she likes it. It's gotten to the point that Jonas would rather fail on her own, than ask someone for help with something. She hates people who are cruel and hateful for no reason, and people who are overly optimistic or overly pessimistic. "I see myself as a realist. Sometimes life is awesome, and sometimes it sucks. That's just how it is. There's a cup with some water in it, now instead of arguing how full or empty it is, just drink it." The last thing she hates? Sea food and McDonald's breakfast.
-Fears:Even though Jonas tries to put up a brave front and acts tough and fearless, she's actually afraid of many things. She's afraid of the future because she doesn't know what she's going to do with her life, which goes along with her fear of things she can't control. When she feels like things are out of her control she gets anxious and panicky. She's also terrified of letting people down. When she's doing something for herself she doesn't put nearly as much effort into it as she would if it were for someone else. Lastly, she's afraid of ducks... She isn't sure about that one either.
-Likes:Another thing Jonas likes to keep under ropes is her huge amount nerd interests. Star wars, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, countless musicals, you name it. Her favorite of course being Lord of the Rings. She also loves to read, fantasy and science fiction being her favorite genres. "It's nice to get away for a bit sometimes. Books help me do that.." Coupled with her love of reading comes with a love of learning. Science, English, Social Studies; she loves it all. Her second favorite subject would have to be psychology, understanding how people thought always fascinated her. That leaves her all time favorite subject, art. Name any type of art, Jonas loves it. Writing, painting, drawing, preforming, anything. Jonas loves all of it. She even plays flute, cello, bass, and electric guitar. Her last passion is, without a doubt, skating. Could I really be a tomboy if I didn't love skating? That's like, rule number one."
-Dislikes:"Oh, I like this part! I'm not a pessimist, I promise. " One of her main dislikes, which is actually more of a pet peeve, is being corrected. Jonas hates being wrong, but when she is she'll usually own up to it. But if someone other then her points out her mistake she will deny it and continue arguing her incorrect statement. Next, Jonas hates having to rely on people for anything. She's been independent for most of her life and that's the way she likes it. It's gotten to the point that Jonas would rather fail on her own, than ask someone for help with something. She hates people who are cruel and hateful for no reason, and people who are overly optimistic or overly pessimistic. "I see myself as a realist. Sometimes life is awesome, and sometimes it sucks. That's just how it is. There's a cup with some water in it, now instead of arguing how full or empty it is, just drink it." The last thing she hates? Sea food and McDonald's breakfast.
-Personality:"Now, how does one describe their personality exactly? That seems ridiculously complicated and I don't wanna." The biggest personality trait Jonas has may be her intense ability to be stubborn. Once she has set her mind to something there is absolutely no changing it, and if you tell her she can't then she will do it even faster. This has lead her to do some less than smart things but hey, anything to prove her point. Being stubborn and quickly angered has left Jonas with a pretty short fuse. It doesn't take much for her to go off and when she does, it's wise to stand clear. Armored with her sarcastic sense of humor and affinity for speaking her mind, Jonas can seem a bit rude at times but she really isn't, she's just speaking the truth that no one else is willing to say. Despite all of the previous, and the tone she may have, Jonas is an extremely gentle and has a genuinely kind heart. "Surprising, right?" Her heart aches whenever she sees people in any form of distress and she always does whatever she can to help, even if it means giving up something she needs herself. Jonas is very social, she loves laughing and making others laugh. Being the center of attention isn't uncomfortable to her, but she doesn't seek it out either. If she got to choose, she'd much rather be alone with a book most of the time. She's much more introverted than she lets on. Gaining her trust is no simple feat and few have managed, or even attempted. Once you've betrayed that trust it's gone forever, Jonas doesn't deal out second chances. But if you manage to befriend her she could quickly become one of the best you'll ever have. She has a great capability to understand and make sense of complicated situations, making her a wonderful peacemaker whenever the time calls for it. Her loyalty knows no bounds and she's almost too protective over people she cares about. Sweet and gentle, stubborn and loud; on very different ends of the personality spectrum, but all rolled into one Jonas Cathryn.
-History:I'd rather we just skip over this part.."
Jonas's life is, in a word, complicated. Jonas was born in snowy Canada to a loving, successful family. Her mother was a musician and her father was an artist so a deep appreciation for the arts was instilled to her at birth. They never had much money but their house was always warm and full of love. If you ask Jonas today what was the best time of her life, she will always say her time early on with her mother and father. Nothing has yet to compare to as happy as she was then. It didn't take long for tides to do what they do; change. Her parents began to argue all the time, she can't exactly remember why, and it resulted in them getting a divorce. Her mother won custody of her, then packed everything and moved to southern Canada. Jonas was three at the time, she hasn't seen her father since then.
"Mom was never quite the same after that. Her and dad were together since they were younger than I am now... Them separating broke her. I remember trying to get her to play with me, but she just laid there. And she barely let me leave the house, she was afraid I'd leave her too. Then Mom got really, really sick.." Her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died just a few months later. Since Jonas's father never came to claim her, she was put into foster care and, at age five, was taken in by an american family.
Her foster parents name's were John and Katie, very average for seemingly average people. They always tried to call Jonas "Jessica" and picked on her because of her accent which made her head want to explode, but all in all they seemed not too terrible. As impossible as it seems, things quickly got worse for a young Jonas. "It turns out John and Katie were only taking in foster kids for the money and legal benefits. I was their eighth child... I still don't know what happened to the seven before me." John and Katie acted prim and proper for appearances. To everyone they looked like wonderful, caring people who graciously took foster child after foster child into their home. But only Jonas knows the truth. She remembers sitting on the floor with nothing to eat while her 'parents' feasted. She remembers being forced to sleep outside in temperatures below zero, or not being allowed to sleep at all. She remembers John's drunken fits and being dragged out of her bed (the few nights she could sleep in it) then being hit over and over with more than just his fists while Katie just smoked a cigarette and watched. "Maybe that's where I get my smoking habit from, I never really thought about it. I really should stop.." The numerous scars that still riddle her body serve as a permanent reminder of her time with these people, and are her main reason that showing her body makes her uncomfortable.
Jonas went on living, if it can even be called that, for about ten years before she finally built up the courage to do something about it. In the middle of the night, while John and Katie were in a drunken state of unconsciousness, Jonas packed up the little things she had (and several hundred dollars taken from her 'parents' rainy day fund) and left.
-History:I'd rather we just skip over this part.."
Jonas's life is, in a word, complicated. Jonas was born in snowy Canada to a loving, successful family. Her mother was a musician and her father was an artist so a deep appreciation for the arts was instilled to her at birth. They never had much money but their house was always warm and full of love. If you ask Jonas today what was the best time of her life, she will always say her time early on with her mother and father. Nothing has yet to compare to as happy as she was then. It didn't take long for tides to do what they do; change. Her parents began to argue all the time, she can't exactly remember why, and it resulted in them getting a divorce. Her mother won custody of her, then packed everything and moved to southern Canada. Jonas was three at the time, she hasn't seen her father since then.
"Mom was never quite the same after that. Her and dad were together since they were younger than I am now... Them separating broke her. I remember trying to get her to play with me, but she just laid there. And she barely let me leave the house, she was afraid I'd leave her too. Then Mom got really, really sick.." Her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died just a few months later. Since Jonas's father never came to claim her, she was put into foster care and, at age five, was taken in by an american family.
Her foster parents name's were John and Katie, very average for seemingly average people. They always tried to call Jonas "Jessica" and picked on her because of her accent which made her head want to explode, but all in all they seemed not too terrible. As impossible as it seems, things quickly got worse for a young Jonas. "It turns out John and Katie were only taking in foster kids for the money and legal benefits. I was their eighth child... I still don't know what happened to the seven before me." John and Katie acted prim and proper for appearances. To everyone they looked like wonderful, caring people who graciously took foster child after foster child into their home. But only Jonas knows the truth. She remembers sitting on the floor with nothing to eat while her 'parents' feasted. She remembers being forced to sleep outside in temperatures below zero, or not being allowed to sleep at all. She remembers John's drunken fits and being dragged out of her bed (the few nights she could sleep in it) then being hit over and over with more than just his fists while Katie just smoked a cigarette and watched. "Maybe that's where I get my smoking habit from, I never really thought about it. I really should stop.." The numerous scars that still riddle her body serve as a permanent reminder of her time with these people, and are her main reason that showing her body makes her uncomfortable.
Jonas went on living, if it can even be called that, for about ten years before she finally built up the courage to do something about it. In the middle of the night, while John and Katie were in a drunken state of unconsciousness, Jonas packed up the little things she had (and several hundred dollars taken from her 'parents' rainy day fund) and left.
"Relationships? Well, I've never much had time for those... So, believe it or not, I've never had real boyfriend.."
Though Jonas may have never been in a real relationship, she's anything but innocent. She has a reputation for being for being a bit promiscuous and often uses a flirtatious attitude with people she doesn't know well.
-Crush: "Well..."
-Girlfriend/Boyfriend:"Now you're just teasing me, right? I mean, having a relationship would be nice I guess but it's not really a priority to me. Besides, I just don't really know if it'd work out... Why try something if you know it could end badly?"
I feel as though I am constantly diving into and swimming out of pools of sanity
And lately, though I may drink more water, the pools become more shallow
I don’t know how to save you from drowning
Nor do I know how to save myself
I may brag about a warm shoulder
You’ve just got to know that you make it colder
The bitterness of your heart has set root; intwined to mine like sticky black tar
My lungs -- You’re like a cigarette addiction that I just can’t seem to quit
Can’t I hold you for one more second without you wanting to break free of me?
All you ever want is to leave"
