JOSHUA EVANSTHE LEADER
♞ You just got to keep pushing yourself forward. ♞
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Name: "My name is Joshua Evans. Joshua, in the Hebrew language, means 'savior'. Evans is either Hebrew, Welsh, or Scottish, it means, "god is gracious' and 'born of youth'. Do I really care? No. Did I just waste your time? Yes. Is my name used here in the facility? No, I'm named 4632213 here. Catchy isn't it?"
Nickname: "I go by Josh, that's it nothing else."
Gender: "I'm a male, no need to say more than that. Is there?"
Age: "Twenty years old, not young. I'm never going backwards. When my birthday is, I don't want to remember."
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Personality: "I'm not a first impression kind of guy. If you did that, you would probably get me all wrong. You see the first impression you might get from me is distant, quiet, cold and crazy. I am not the kind to randomly go up to people and make new friends. Making friends does not come easily to me, so I stay away and keep to myself. Sometimes I'll give everyone a cold glare, but not because I'm judging or trying to be mean, I just don't want to be seen as weak in a place like this. The lock on my door doesn't help with my impression on others either. I was labeled as crazy, I was announced as insane. I was here first and to say the truth, this place is driving me insane. They think I would attack them, give me a reason to and I will. I am also prone to sudden bursts of anger. This place it just drives me to do something I wish I hadn't. At times the injury will be upon myself or upon a nearby inanimate object. But this is what you see, what you hear. If I were given a chance, if those around would let me come in they would see someone different. I am a natural born leader. I like the challenge, I like the authority but I also know that with it comes responsibility. I am capable of being responsible for others and I do give my best opinion. I listen and think. I do not rush through with things. I don't want anyone getting hurt on my watch and I will do anything to care for them. I may be seen as insane but I'm quick and smart. Planning and strategies are my forte, pressure is a simple thing I can push away. I think outside the box, my creativity is what gives me an upper hand. I may act dumb, its just a cover. Haven't you learned? 'Don't judge a book by its cover'. Love and kindness are traits that though have not been seen yet, are very well present within me. I am no harsh brute, whose only purpose is to gain power and keep it. I want to help, and what is help without kindness and love? I try to be the best I can be, I try not to put others down. I give trust but expect trust in return. I am an expectant person, maybe slightly harsh when it comes to tasks that must be done, but hey, everyone needs some strict rules out there. Rules are a thing I live by, I have my own code of conduct in this place and I follow it to the letter. I have not broken my self implied rules yet. I tell you this myself, because they will tell you different."
Description: "I stand at about 6'2 and weigh about 145 lbs. I'm rather tall for my family and to them I'm a sort of giant. (Most of them were small). I have dark brown hair, that I don't let grow out too much. I may be insane and have no use to tend well to myself but I do. I was well built, right now I'm just lean and rather thin. My skin is a warm tan, decorated by a few pale scars. One upon my back, the other close to my neck. I was trying to go suicidal. Lets say it didn't work. Compared to my now thin frame, my hands are quite large as are my feet giving me a strange look. However, of all of my features, strange or not, my eyes are what get most people. They are a bright green or were. Now they seem lifeless, without purpose. Can you blame me? Upon my arm, I have my number in dark colors, 4632213 and on my hip I have a date. 5/13/2019 what it means... I am unsure. But I feel, no I know it is important. That date means something and I will find out one day. Since we are allowed to wear our own clothes, I prefer to use baggy pants, large shoes and a loose sweatshirt. It makes me look fuller than I really am."
History & Today: "My life was... perfect. I had both of my parents, who were always around. They would work yes... but they were always home when needed. We would eat as a family, watch television together, do everything. I had friends, I had a great time in school with them. Every day I would set myself to working out, building up and being as fit as possible. I tried not to eat out, tried not to be unhealthy. But we all break a few rules. Everything was great, until they came along. I wasn't jealous at first, actually when I first saw the twins, my brother and sister, born ten years after myself to both of my parents. I was glad! Oh two more to add into the family, it was so perfect. But then, the attention was switched, my parents time was spent on the twins. They started working longer, I was set to take care of them both. I no longer had time to train and slowly I was drained of energy. I would go to school, go home, take care of the twins and when my parents returned they'd say hello to the twins, spend only a few moments with them and then leave into their room for the night. I would stay up hearing them scream and shout at each other, sometimes things fell and all I did was make sure the two were safe. At that time the most important thing to me were the twins, it wasn't their fault. Yet when they started school I lost my purpose. They no longer needed me and with more time on my hands and no longer used to the physical workout I turned to drinking to keep me happy. No one knew about it, no one ever saw it. They were all to busy to see what was wrong with me. The sudden loss of purpose, the sudden drinking forced me into a deep depression until I couldn't take it. I attempted suicide, it seemed easy and without me more of their time could be focused on other things. As you may know it failed. I was discovered, and with only one attempt I was sent here. I was only half crazy then, drinking, suicide running my thoughts but being sent to the facility... that drove me to the maximum. They labeled me insane, they called me names it drove me worse. So I did fight them, I did attack. They have a good reason to put a bolt on my door, they have good reason to try and keep me under control. Since then I have wrapped up into my own shell, I think about not thinking. At times I become so frustrated with my life and not being able to do anything,I cry. It has become more frequent, though no one has noticed and no one will. I now try to focus on building up again, at focusing my time on something productive for myself, but every time I fail and wrap myself up tighter and tighter."
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Likes: "I used to like sports and nature, but in here all I like is seeing that look people get if I threaten them. I need some fun to you know. I like to drink and forget my worries, but as you know that can't happen in here."
Dislikes: "They aren't dislikes, they are hates. I hate the counselors, I hate the people, I hate the check ups. I hate everything in here, except for some of the kids. But everything else is basically hated by me. "
Fears: "I fear, fear itself. I am afraid of being afraid. If I am afraid I am weak and no one should see me as weak."
Social Life: "What kind of a social life can I get in here?"
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{I hope this is sufficient. If I am missing something, please inform me. The pic is a link as I am having a bit of trouble with pictures for the time being.}