ＬＥＴ ＩＴ ＧＯ . ＣＬＯＳＥＤ}}high semi-lit.

[sunny,]

>>bump

[aaivxi]

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❝ Ｋａｃ' Ｒａｅ
Ｄａｌｌａｓ
Ｇｏｎｚａｌｅｓ ❞

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ｗｈｅｎｌｉｆｅ ｇｉｖｅｓ ｙｏｕ ａ ｈｕｎｄｒｅｄ ｒｅａｓｏｎｓ ｔｏ ｃｒｙ, ｓｈｏｗ
ｌｉｆｅ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅ ａ ｔｈｏｕｓａｎｄ ｒｅａｓｏｎｓ ｔｏ ｓｍｉｌｅ

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ｌｅｔ ｍｅ ｉｎｔｒｏｄｕｃｅ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ.
Well hello there, my name is Kac' Rae Dallas Paine, and you can call me Kac', Rae, or even Dallas. When I was born, my dad always wanted his little girl to be named after one of Texas' cities. He thought Dallas, but my momma thought that was too much of a boy name and she wanted Kac' Rae. They soon decided that my middle name would just be Dallas, and my first would be Kac' Rae! When I was younger I didn't like that fact that I had a boy's name for my middle name but being honest, it really can be either. Well at least I think so... But once I turned thirteen I really just loved the name Dallas and wanted everyone to call me that and everyone did except my teachers at school. Ha! Oh well, they're just dumb old teachers that no one really cares for. I now, being seventeen really don't care what others call me, as long as I like it. The majority of my friends call me Dallas because they know I love the name so much, but sometimes they just call me Kac' or Rae. Ya know what I think, names are just overrated! I mean c'mon! What's in a name? Eh no there's always a reason, and I guess a name makes us all equally special. Oh ok and I know what you're thinking... Why would spell their kid's name that weird?! Well, it is pronouced Kaycee or Cacy, but it's just spelled weird. But I like it, it's unique.
ａｇｅ ａｎｄ ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｙ.
Well I am eighteen years old, and I was born on April 11th, 1994. I was born on a actually really stormy day, a lot of damage was made in the city and such. I was also born at midnight, which I find quite weird.
ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｏｕｔｓｉｄｅ.
Ok so for looks, wow ok this migt be a bit long but I dunno how to describe myself! Well I am 5'7 pretty normal height for girls my age, although, I am a bit short but it's not too noticeable. I weigh at 125 pounds and really I'm not like anerexic or fat, pretty normal with the weight. I work out a lot, but mostly by just dance, and running, or playing with my big old dogs. Now my arms aren't too long or too short, pretty much just where they should be. My chest isn't too big either I wear a 34 C, and I've never been to small with my ches but not too big either. For my skin, I'm not a face that's covered in acne, but I do get a piple every now and then. I mainly got pimples in middle school but now I don't have those issues anymore. And it wasn't that big of a deal anyway. So I'm pretty strong, but not like scary ripped with muscles like some of those body builders. I am SO not a body builder is any way, shape, or form. But I'm not out of shape either so I am just in the right place where I should be. My legs are pretty long, and they make me pretty tall, as well as my torso being pretty long as well. My mom says this is pretty attractive but I just ignore what she says. Other than all of that, this is it! Oh yeah, my eyes! They are hazel, with some dark green in the middle. Oh and also I have four tattoos... Don't judge! One on my wrist in an anchor, I have this little flock of birds on my lower right arm, a quote on my right rib cage. Oh and ha I've got a cross on my right hand. That's it for tattoos! My hair is dark brown, with some natural red in there somewhere... So now, I'm done with my description.
ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌｉｔｙ.
I am probably one of the most hyper and crazy girls you will ever meet. I love dancing and singing; they are my passion. I also love acting, because it's just so fun to be a different person for awhile. I am very outgoing and will do nearly anything you ask me to do. I'm very open, but like to keep my secrets to myself. When the time comes, you may get to know some thinngs you never thought you would before about me. I like to try new things; no matter what it is. Food, languages, acccents, wow I will try anything! One thing I love about me is that I never give up. Whenever the world seems to be crashing down on me, I never say I can't do this anymore. I always get back up and try again. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words could always hurt me. Yes, I've been bullied mostly all my life, and try to forget. Ya know what is shown on the outside is only the cover of a book, but you have to go through and open the pages... I'd say that if I were a book, I'd be over 700 pages long, and more. Just for all the things I've gone through. I don't hide, but I don't want the world to know everything detail about me. Don't you agree?
ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ.
Well If you need to know so much more about me then I might as well tell ya what happened awhile back. I grew up here in town, and life was prety normal actually. But that was just when I was younger. I grew up on the farm in a big ranch with lots of animals, we had horses, sheep, cattles, so many dogs and cats.. Dang we had so much! But when I reached the age of thrirteen I got in a group of girls that I really liked and they seemed to really like me as well. But little did I know they were just big liars and haters that would soon ruin my life. We went to parties together, movies, and did so many things that were so much fun. Later in time I soon got a boyfriend named Austin. He was the sweetest guy I had ever met; we did everything together and had many laughs and cries with ourselves. Life seemed just perfect, until one day I went to a party with my friends and it seemed like it would be just okay. At that party, well lets just say a lot of bad things happened, and I was a part of it. When I was a teenager my older brother Ren abused me in anyway possible. He beat me up, he cursed at me, and did things I don't wish to mention. My mother was always on my side, and my dad was as well but they always drank and got drunk all the time. So I'm not sure if they really care or not. Then things in me changed... When I turned sixteen I got about four tattoos, a nose piercing, lip piercing and belly-button one as well. Life is something that sucks at times but you can make it better by seeing things that can bring yourself up. I then became more and more depressed though, even when I tried keeping my head up. Nothing seemed to "work". I began cutting, smoking, doig, drugs, and drinking... But now I haven't done any of that for awile now... See, I met this guy named Ryan and well, he's changed me a lot... But I just have been doing my own thing lately. Not really having a care in the world. Being eighteen is so fun, because you can drive! And do basically anything! Ok, not everything, but you know what I mean!
ｌｏｖｅ ｌｉｆｅ.
Ok so now for my love life you say? Well I have many ex's... Lets see, my first boyfriend was Austin, who ended up being a total liar and cheater. My second was Griffin, and boy was he someone to keep! But no, he only wanted me for his disires... Now this takes me to Derek, who we really just didn't have much in common and we thought it would be best just to let eachother be. Well for me as of now, I don't really have a crush or anything. Just kinda on my own right now but I do have many guy friends that are just so sweet and amazing. I wouldn't say I've got a crush on them, but they are more like brothers to me. So but if you are wanting to know what I look for in a guy well... I like brown hair and blue eyes, or green eyes, doesn't really matter. I like guys who have a great personality, and don't just want me for their own doings. Someone who will always be by my side, and never leaves me. Yeah, I do like a guy who is pretty muscular, a oh yeah looks matter too! But for the most part the way he acts around me is the main thing. I don't want him to go wandering off with his friends and leave mein the dust. I like doing things that guys do too!

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❝ ｊａｉ
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ｌｉｖｅ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｍｅｎｔ
ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｅｌｓｅ ｉｓ ｕｎｃｅｒｔａｉｎ.

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ｌｅｔ ｍｅ ｉｎｔｒｏｄｕｃｅ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ.
Why hello love, my name is Jai. My full name though is Jai Louis Brooks. The Louis may look like "Lewis" but it's pronounced as "Louie" it's just spelled differently. Oh and Jai is pronouced "Jay" but I think you got that already. So my dad always wanted to call his little boy a name that would be a lot like his. I don't know why, but he thought Jai would be just perfect. I don't complain, I love my name, I mean it's not like a hate it. My mum on the other hand always loved the named Louis, after her dad. So, that's how I got my name, pretty simple actually. I'm orginially from Cheshire, England, but when I turned seven my family had to move into the United States. I still have my British accent, which everyone seems to love. It makes me laugh when people always talk about it, but I like the attention. We moved to Massachusetts, actually Washington, in Massachusetts of course. It was very strange moving at such a young age, but everyone got used to me in school and such. A lot of people liked me and thought it was cool that I was from England. I got a lot of attention from the teachers and kids, but it always felt weird after time.
ａｇｅ ａｎｄ ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｙ.
Well, I am nineteen and I was born in August. August 19th, 1993. From what my parents have told me, it was a really pretty day outside, then but I was born at three in the mornig. I find that hilarious, I dont really know why though.
ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｏｕｔｓｉｄｅ.
Well for looks with me, I don't like bragging at all. If you couldn't tell, I'm not a lad who is "in love" with himself. I tend to really not care much for the outward appearance, but of course I do take care of my body, but it's not what I'm always focused on. So well, I am about 6'0 and weigh I'm guessing around 175 pounds which I think is normal. I'm not fat, just the right amount of fat on me though. I do work out, therefore I am pretty muscular. Oh lets see, my eyes are sky blue and I would say they are my favorite feature about me. Having blue eyes was a gift from my mum's side. She has blue eyes, my grandfather has blue eyes, and the majority of my cousins do to. I like them, they really suite me well. Okay so now for my hair I suppose; um well it's brown, naturally and I just give it a little volume and quiff thing everyday to style it. My skin is very clear, and I never had problems with acne ever on my face, but I would get some on my back... I know it's gross but hey, teens all have it! I have tattos as well. As you can see, I have a bird, compass, little skaeboard guy, and "oops" on my right arm. I also have a screw on my ankle, and well I think I have more.. Eh you can find out someday.
ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌｉｔｙ.
Ok well when you first meet me you will probably think I am one of those guys that is hy and quiet. Well no, after a day or two you will realize that I am one of the craziest people out there. I am always cracking jokes and making people laugh. Which, I get this from my dad; he's always being funny and goofy. I am the goof of my family though, and has always been the class clown in school. I'm popular because of how funny I am and I don't even try to make people laugh sometimes but they just end up on the floor laughing so hard. I think that it's nice laughing, because you just feel free and let go of everything. I love to sing, play piano, and the guitar. I have always been a musical prodegy, I guess you could call me that. Now when people are being bullied or made fun of, all hell breaks loose in me. I am always on the watch for standing up for people because I always can find the right words to say. I try not to be mean but when somebody messes with someone I love, I get well... Upset. Smart is another thing you could call me. Yes I am very clever, but not always smart. I have tricks up my sleeves, and I show that a lot as being known as a trouble-maker. But ya know what! It's fun! But life has been rough though... I haven't had the strength to go another day.. Well with just depression. I was diagnosed with it when I was about thirteen. Now I know what you're thinking, how could such a funny and outgoing guy be depressed? Well I don't even know the answer to that. I am how I am. You could say I'm bi-polar as well, but I wouldn't know why.... But yes, this is me, weather you like me or not.
ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ.
My history isn't all that amazing, I guess it is but that's up to you. I was born in raised in Cheshire, as you know already and I moved to Washington DC when I was seven years of age. In school, things were great and fun because I was pretty popular with everyone. But during highschool, things kinda changed I guess. I wasn't the spots type, like I never played "football" as it's called in America and same with basketball. I however do play football, which is known as "soccer" in America. I was the MVP of the team, and wel I am prety great at it. But not being in the other sports made things different, but eh, not that bad. Girls were never a problem with me. I actually was known as a flirt for awhile but I didn't like that title very well. It didn't suite me, it wasn't me at all. That soon changed and things went back to normal. But.. Well, ok things were weird online. I joined Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. That's where the majority of the bullying started. It was online, and I never thought it would be that bad. But people I didn't even know called me gay, stupid, a c*** and more. I don't like talking about it but it happened. That happened in middle school and I just let go of it later on. But nothing is a problem really now.
ｌｏｖｅ ｌｉｆｅ.
Love. Ah love. It's such a wonderful thing. Not. I have had many troubles with love growning up and I'm not that big of a fan of it. I've tried going out with girls but they all ended up being liars and w*o***. I hate saying that but, I mean c'mon, it's true. If I were to ever be in a relationship again, it would have to last. I never seemed to have luck with a real girl when it came to love and that really sucked because I've always wanted to be in a serious relationship. But it seems like no one is up to the challenge. All the girls go for easy guys, and I am not easy in anyway. I like having fun and doing things that maybe not everyone is used to. But I like being this way, or playing hard to get as you may call it. It's fun for me, and it should be fun for the lass as well. If she and I both aren't having fun in the relationship, then I guess it was never meant to be. My first girlfriend's name was Ellie Dawson. She was American and we were about oh fourteen. I didn't really want to have a relationship anytime before that because I thought it was just plain dumb. But still, fouteen was young, but we could understand "love" a bit more you could say. She was great, and really understood me, but of course it was all an act. Ellie cheated, and I was broken. My first love didn't really love me back, or at least that's what it felt like. So my second girlfriend was Eleanor and we were both almost sixteen when we went out. We were together for about seven months, then when I turned sixteen, she changed me a bit. Or at least, she was trying to. Eleanor was wanting me to do things I didn't want to do that I thought was stupid, and it really was. Again, another fake. I had one last girlfriend in senior year named Alex, and our relationship last about nine months. It was the best relationship I had ever had, and I thought we were gonna go far. But, sadly, she had to move all the way to California, and we couldn't do the long distance relationship thing. It sucked, because I knew, and she didn't want to leave either. We cried, and begged, just wanting to be with eachother for forever... But, it didn't work. Sadly. So but as of now I have no girlfriend, and I don't exactly know if I am in the search for one either. It will take time for my heart to love again, possibly.

[Apple Cider.]

{ I have a question.
When can we start
posting our entry to
the camp? Sorry, i'm
just anxious to start. (: }

[halsey,]

{{bump

[sunny,]

>>I'm hoping everyone will be done by tonight and we may start then:)

[diamonds;;]

[ i do not think my form will be completed tonight due to real life things that have happened, so my finished form may be delayed. however i will try and complete as much of it as possible and format the rest of it, but whether the spaces will be filled with the finish writing. luckily i maybe quite a lot of progress this morning, but i'll have to go soon. ]

[sunny,]

>>that's fine. When it comes to real world things, you may take as much time as needed

[sunny,]

>>Try to finish things by tonight or tomorrow guys. We need one more guy, so please tell your friends. The sooner we start the better, I think this is gonna be really awesome:)

[RαrєHuskíєs]

♚ Ｅｍｅｒｙ Ｑｕｉｎｎ Ｂａｘｔｅｒ ♚

referred to as ｑｕｉｎｎ

full given birth name: emery quinn baxter
pronunciation: [ EHM-mur-ee kwin BAKS-tur ]
gender: male
age in years: nineteen
origins: england
orientation: bisexual
issue: beaten and abused; started drugs; antisocial

hello world, my name's emery, but please, do call me quinn. the meaning of that nickname is 'intelligence', and i like to pride myself in that. i don't have a paticular reason i don't use my first name, but i just prefer quinn, i suppose. my best friend lucille came up with it. i despised it at first, thinking it sounded more like a girl name, so i never really let anyone call me by it. she was diagnosed with cancer a few months later though, and when she passed, i decided i'd stick with it. it helps me keep her closer even though she's gone, and honestly, the name's grown on me. it is my middle name, but she's the one who gave it lividity. but now to the point, i'm a nineteen year old male, and i happen to be bisexual. don't judge me, i won't be changing for anyone. just because i'm bisexual, it doesn't mean that if you're a guy that i think you're cute, and that i want to get with you. simple as that. i'm originally from england, or at least that's where my origins lie, on my mother's side. so that's basically me.Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ ｔｈｉｓ ｎｅｅｄ ｆｏｒ Ｙｏｕ

Ｎｏｗ Ｙｏｕ ｐｕｌｌ ｍｅ ｎｅａｒ Ｙｏｕ
Ｗｈｅｎ ｗｅ'ｒｅ ｃｌｏｓｅ,
Ｉ ｆｅａｒ Ｙｏｕ
Ｓｔｉｌｌ Ｉ'ｍ ａｆｒａｉｄ ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ
Ｙｏｕ, ａｌｌ ｔｈａｔ Ｉ'ｖｅ ｄｏｎｅ
Ａｒｅ Ｙｏｕ ｄｏｎｅ ｆｏｒｇｉｖｉｎｇ?
Ｏｈ ｃａｎ Ｙｏｕ ｌｏｏｋ ｐａｓｔ ｍｙ
ｐｒｅｔｅｎｄｉｎｇ?
Ｌｏｒｄ, Ｉ'ｍ ｓｏ ｔｉｒｅｄ ｏｆ ｄｅｆｅｎｄｉｎｇ,
ｗｈａｔ Ｉ'ｖｅ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ
Ｗｈａｔ ｈａｖｅ Ｉ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ?

height: 6'1"
weight: 165lbs
skin tone: nicely tanned and smooth
hair color: dirty blonde with some brown mixed in
hair length: skater style, rather lengthy, but not shaggy
eye color: a clear blue, almost grey color with a dark ring
scars: a large scar on my back, going almost all the way across
tattoos: i have one on my right shoulder, a celtic knot
piercings: i do not happen to have any

i wouldn't say i'm the best looking guy out there, but honestly, i'm not too painful to look at either. my jaw isn't as finely chiseled as some models, but it's not round and chubby either. to start with, i'm a pretty tall fella'. i stand at a good 6 foot 1 inch. that means that i can reach things at the top of shelves, and it happens a lot really, others needing my assistance to get things down. i don't mind really, gives me a sense of duty. my weight isn't that bad either, 165, and being mostly muscle. i like to weight lift and stay in shape. i go running a lot, and my arms and legs are finely toned and chiseled. i have a nice lean look to mean, but not wimpy and skinny. more like a hungry lion. my skin is nice and tan, do to being in the sun for so long. my face is the nicest part about me though. my eyebrows aren't too thick, my eyes are a sharp, clear blue, which is so clear it's almost grey in certain lighting, and they have a darker navy ring surrounding the outer edge or my irises. my hair is also not half bad, being almost skater style, but not unruly or shaggy and shabby in any way, shape, or form. it's a dark, dark brown color, along with some black that's obviously mixed in well. my lips are a soft pink, and my face is freckle-free. my abdomen is well toned, with a 6 pack and prominent v-lines, which always seem to attract the ladies. i'm always clean and well shaven, i never let my facial hair grown out, really. i feel too rough and unruly. overall, i do my best to maintain my looks as well as i can. Ａｎｄ Ｉ ｎｅｅｄ ｔｏ ｈｅａｒ Ｙｏｕ, ｉｓ ｔｈａｔ ｓｏ ｗｒｏｎｇ?

habits: lying, quits things before he finishes,
he's catastrophically irresponsible, he judges himself too much,
often hypersensitive
pros: has a hidden big heart, good listener, secretly empathetic
cons: liar, judgmental, reserved, withdrawn

when you get to know emery, you will start to see his good side, but before you get to know him, you may only see his bad characteristics, which came from his years of abuse. aggressive. he has an unusual amount of aggression at times, and will often lash out and insult others at time, or really, he's mostly defensive and guarded. he doesn't like those who try to pry, and he won't tolerate anyone diving into his personal business without permission. extremely Shy. one of his worst habits is how shy he can be. he is submissive and will often always look away or down from anyone he's talking to, if you can even get a good, healthy conversation out of him. he is hard to get to open up. it's also not unusual for him to shut off randomly, when he delves back into his past, and zones out. difficulty listening. often emery has difficulty keeping up with the conversation. he'll retract from it without any notice, and you could be talking to him for a good hour, and it'll look like he's paying attention, but if you ask him what was talked about, he may only recall the first 15 minutes of the conversation you had with him. withdrawn. a big characteristic of emery's is that he's very withdrawn from the crowd. he doesn't stay up to date on the current action, and he always seems behind on what's going on in the long run. he doesn't mean any harm by it, but it's one of his defense mechanisms that he's worked up over the years. watchful. emery is very watchful. he doesn't always listen well, but he's almost always keeping his eyes on you, watching you subconsciously for you to make the wrong move that'll set him off. he's been like that for years, and often he can go a long period of time without even needing to blink. soft heart. lastly, in the end, he just has a really big, soft heart. even after all the years of abuse and such, his heart is still intact. it may take a while for it's outer shell to get broken into, but it's there, beating and warm. all he really wants is to love someone that will love him back unconditionally, and that won't harm him. but he's so reserved and withdrawn from the people surrounding him, it may be harder than it sounds.Ｏｈ, ｏｈ. Ｏｈ, ｏｈ. Ｏｈ, ｏｈ.

likes: being alone, sleeping, reading, yelling
dislikes: talking, interacting, people
wishes: to merely be happy again

Ｉ ｈｅａｒ Ｙｏｕ ｓａｙ,
"Ｍｙ ｌｏｖｅ ｉｓ ｏｖｅｒ.
Ｉｔ'ｓ ｕｎｄｅｒｎｅａｔｈ.
Ｉｔ'ｓ ｉｎｓｉｄｅ. Ｉｔ'ｓ ｉｎ ｂｅｔｗｅｅｎ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｙｏｕ ｄｏｕｂｔ Ｍｅ,
ｗｈｅｎ ｙｏｕ ｃａｎ'ｔ ｆｅｅｌ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ｑｕｅｓｔｉｏｎ
, 'Ｉｓ ｔｈｉｓ ｆｏｒ ｒｅａｌ? '
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｙｏｕ'ｒｅ ｂｒｏｋｅｎ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ｍｅｎｄ.

there's not many things emery likes, but the things he dislikes are more than numerous. if you had to do an outline of the things he actually enjoyed, they would likely relate directly to the things he dislikes, such as how he likes being quiet and away from the crowd, how he likes keeping to himself and taking long walks alone. alone, alone, alone. alone is the key word in his life, and his whole life revolves around him trying to keep himself isolated from everyone. one of the normal things he likes is reading. he enjoys adventure novels, as they give him a good taste of something he figures he'll never have. he also likes romance novels. he won't admit it to anyone, but he does have a soft spot in his heart for romance, deep down. he also enjoys sleeping, like most teenagers, but emery sleeps an excessive amount usually, in an attempt to shut him off from the world, still. so there it is again, his world revolving around being alone. the things he dislikes are much easier to name off. anything having to do with interacting with others, he dislikes with a passion. group activities, games, talking, and any kind of physical touching, such as hugging and things. if it requires him talking or associating with others, he's against it. deep down though, all he wishes for is to be happy again, and be able to enjoy life like he's supposed to.

born in: austin, tx
bad experiences: beaten, abused, degraded, lost his mother
good experiences: applicable
regrets: life
would do again: nothing

hello world, my name's emery, and i was born on the day of the 8th, in the month of january, year 1994, in the city of austin, tx. i was born into a family of 3 already, my father rick, and my mother, emily, along with my older brother, frederick, who was 5 when i was born. we were an ok family for awhile, getting along and doing normal family things. the first 6 years of my life were the happiest, and that's when my little sister, samantha was born, when i was 6, and my older brother was 11. she came like a blessing into the family, my mother had always wanted a girl, and she had finally gotten what she wanted. we were all happy, i in a blissful, young child way, and my parents in a adoring, loving way, and my brother in a protective way, really. things were fine for the first 2 years of her life, until we started to noticed how samantha was getting sick easily, and had issues doing many things a child her age should have already started to do. it was then that we learned she had leukemia. she was only 2, i was 8, and my brother was 13. the whole family was devastated, and we all fell into a silent mode for the next year as she fought on, going through so many things a child her age shouldn't have to. she died when she was almost 4. we were a broken family by then, my mother nearly insane, my father a progressing alcoholic, my brother rampant and angry all the time. he was only 15, and his emotions were going crazy. we were both pulled out of school, our father demanding that we help take care of our mother, as he was becoming progressively less and less able to do so himself. as the next two years passed, i was 12, my brother coming up on 17. he was an angry person by then, nothing could please him or make him happy anymore. our little sister had been the one he loved the most. none of us had known why, but she was, and now that she was gone, he acted as if he had nothing. i never did understand it. i remember the day he first hit me. we had been in our mother's room, feeding her, as she had become unable to do so herself from the increasing, crippling depression she was enduring. i had accidentally let a splash of hot tea fall upon her blouse and stain it, and as i frantically tried to clean it, i turned my head the slightest bit only in enough time to see my brother pull his fist back, and launch it towards my face. it was almost as if in slow motion that it came at me, my eyes widening and the cup of tea shattering to the floor as it made contact with my face, throwing me back a good few feet. the amount of pain was immense, but i slowly began to feel numb. when my father finally showed up and saw the mess, my brother told him it had been me, and being my father, he believed him. we weren't a happy family anymore. it was not long after that that our mother became fatally ill. they say when you give up on life, you can deteriorate from completely healthy to deathly sick in no time, when you just don't care anymore. that's what happened to her. she died in her bed when i was 15. mt brother was 20, but he still lived at home. he and my father both beat me on a regular basis, as if they were on a team against me. i was the weak link, always had been the one with too big of a heart, and they hated it. they had put all of their blame and grief upon my shoulders, and it weighed me down like an anchor. over the next 2 years, they beat me and punished me, drug me around, told me what a mess i was. when i was 17, my brother moved out, and we never saw him again. it was not long after that, that my aunt faith showed up, my mother's sister. she had just then heard of her sister's death, and that one of her son's was left at home. she showed up like a good omen, but by that time, life wasn't good for me. i didn't trust anyone, i hardly spoke anymore. i was safe then, i lived with my aunt and uncle joe, along with my cousins gertrude and mariah. they never did like me, always thought i was weird, and i was only outcast more. my aunt tried taking me to therapy, tried to get me to understand that i wasn't going to get hurt anymore, but it never worked. she finally sent me off to this place of 'peace'. yeah, right. i guess we'll see about that.

Ｉｔ'ｓ ｉｎｓｉｄｅ, ｉｔ'ｓ ｉｎ
ｂｅｔｗｅｅｎ.
Ｔｈｅｓｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｙｏｕ'ｒｅ ｈｅａｌｉｎｇ,
ａｎｄ ｗｈｅｎ ｙｏｕｒ
ｈｅａｒｔ ｂｒｅａｋｓ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ｆｅｅｌ
ｌｉｋｅ ｙｏｕ'ｒｅ ｆａｌｌｉｎｇ ｆｒｏｍ
ｇｒａｃｅ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｙｏｕ'ｒｅ
ｈｕｒｔｉｎｇ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ ｈｅａｌ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｙｏｕ ｇｏ ｈｕｎｇｒｙ,
ａｎｄ ａｒｅ ｔｅｍｐｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓｔｅａｌ.
Ｔｈｅ ｔｉｍｅｓ ｏｆ ｃｏｎｆｕｓｉｏｎ,
ｉｎ ｃｈａｏｓ ａｎｄ ｐａｉｎ.
Ｉ'ｍ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｓｏｒｒｏｗ,
ｕｎｄｅｒ ｔｈｅ ｗｅｉｇｈｔ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ
ｓｈａｍｅ.
Ｉ'ｍ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ ｙｏｕｒ
ｈｅａｒｔａｃｈｅ.
Ｉ'ｍ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｏｒｍ.

[sunny,]

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