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Um, hello? My name? Do I really have to tell a stranger my name? Very well, my name is Jane Marie Goldburg, the most snotty and proper name you will ever hear in your life. According to Google, the name Jane means gracious and merciful. I guess I'm both in a way. Me mum chose the name Jane because of Tarzan. She was a big monkey fan and aboslutely adored the movie Tarzan, and the book too. Yes, there is a Tarzan book. I should know, I've read it at least 10 times. My middle name, Marie, means rebellion and bitter. Those two adjectives don't describe me at all. My family isn't so good at choosing names I guess. My mother also chose the name Marie. She had a friend named Marie who died in a car crash the day I was born. To honor her, my father let my middle name be Marie. It was going to be Paige, but my father used to be a kind man, so he dropped the name Paige for my mother. Goldburg is a common last name, and it's the onlything I got from my father. Those are his words, not mine. There you have it, my name in full detail. I think me mum could see the future, kinda, because my name is kindasortanotreally who I am today.
I've got quite a few nicknames, most given to me by me mum. The one most people use today is a mixture of both my first and middle name. It's probably my favorite nickname because it wasn't made up before I could talk. I actually came up with it myself. When I was just learning how to say my name, I would say Janie Marie because apperantly I was too stupid to just say Jane. Me mum had a laugh at that, so did my dad. When I was a baby me mum would call me Baby Jane or something along those lines. You can call me Jay, if you want to be punched in the face. I hate nicknames that represent lazyness. Seriously. Are you really too lazy to say Jane? If so, them I'm too lazy to talk to you. If you can think of a nickname that isn't short or stupid that I aprove of, by all means, call me it. It's going to be pretty hard to find a nickname that I like though, so let's just stick with Janie Marie for the time being.
I'm 17 years old. I'm nearly 18. I'm so excited! My birthday is November 29th, so I'm almost legal! I would love to get rid of this fake I.D. I have. Oops! I wasn't supposed to say that. Well, now that it's out there, I might as well let you know that I have a fake I.D. I rarely use it though. I enjoy not being in prison, you know? I heard it's a scary place, with metal toilets! I haven't quite finished school yet, but It's my senior year! All my life I've been waiting to be a senior. It's really a bit honor, considering I had to go to summer school to get here. Yes, I fluncked 11th grade. Math, to be more specific. I can't stand numbers, so that's why if you want any useless information about me, like the year I was born or how many months old I am, you'll have to do it yourself. One reason why I can't wait to grow up is so that I can go into a profession that doesn't use numbers on a daily basis. Most people are terrified of growing up, but I can't wait. I hate being held back by childish rules. I want to be looked upon as an adult, not a child. It's just embarassing.
Seriously? Are you seriously asking me this question? I don't think I can look at you right now. Taking into consideration that I have boobs, a high pitched voice, and long hair makes me a guy, right? Please tell me, do I look like a man? Would you like to check and see if I'm a man. Because last time I checked, and that wasn't too long ago, I was a girl. A female, a lady, a woman, una chica whatever you call it, I'm it. Ha, did you see that awesome use of the spanish language? I just learned it. I'm so proud. Okay, back to the topic at hand, I am 100% girl, and don't plan on changing that. I'm having mixed emotions. I'm not sure whether I should be offended, or if I should pity you, because you're obviously both blind and deaf.
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Let's start off with my favorite part of my body, my eyes. I've got light green eyes towards my pupils, but as you get father away from the pupils, it turns into a darker shade. There are hints of gold towards my pupils, making it appear that I have sparkles in my eyes. The irony of that is I hate sparkles. When I smile, the corner of my eyes wrinkle. My father says I have my mothers eyes. He also says my eyes are windows to my soul, that he can see all of my emotions by looking into my eyes. I don't usually we
ar a lot of makeup on my eyes, just the average mascara that every girl wears. I don't really need mascara though, my eye lashes are really long, they are just brown in color. If there is an important event going on, I might put on a bit of brown eye liner and eye shadow, but nothing major.
I have natural brown hair. My hair doesn't really stand out. I've tried adding different highlights in it to make it stand out, but nothing really works. My hair is naturally straight. It's a rare event when my hair is up. I usually just brush it and left it loose. It comes down to the end of my chest. I love adding little accesories in it, like flowers or bows or beanies. It helps keep my hair under control. I only use a straightener when I'm having a really bad hair day. People tend to play with my hair a lot, so it's usually very knotted. They say it's soft, like a child's blanket. I like it when people braid my hair. I think it feels nice. I'm constantly running my fingers through my hair in attempt to keep it under control.
I wouldn't say I'm over weight, but I'm a bit curvy. I have wide hips and thighs. I can't stand my thighs. In 8th grade, I starved myself because I wanted to have skinny thighs. It didn't work and I'm still working on gaining all that weight back from my stupid desion. I have a flat stomach, which just amplifies my boobs. I hate boobs. Why can't we all just be flat chested? Ever since I lost all of that weight, everything on me that I didn't want to grow did. Instead of gaining body fat, I gained boob fat. Is that even possible? I've got big, clumsy, size 10 feet and small nimble hands. I can do just about anything with my hands. Ask me to kick a football? I'll probably take out an entire town.
I can proudly say that I have the slightest hint of a tan. I call it a 'baby tan'. It's not quite dark enough to be considered a real tan, but it has potential. In the summer, I get really tan. I look like I lived in Africa all of my life or something. I'm very proud of that fact. I don't need to use sunscreen either. Usually in the summer, I spend at least 5 hours a day outside. I haven't gotten a sun burn. Ever. I feel blessed. For the other 9 months, I somehow manage to keep my baby tan without getting a spray tan or going to a tanning bed. I hate both of those. I don't consier it a real tan unless it's summer.
For my height, I am 5 feet 10 inches, with 3 inch heels on. I lean towards the shorter side, but that's cool. It's easy to be sneaky when you're short. Even with big feet. I wish I was a tad bit taller sometimes, just so I can reach the top shelf. As for my weight, wait a minute. Shoudl you really be asking a girl for her weight? I don't mind giving that information out, but some girls might be offended by that question. I weigh 115 pounds. I know, I need to eat more. I am. I eat plenty, but as you know, I'm a bit stupid and lost a bunch of weight in 8th grade. I'm trying to get it all back, trust me.
As for body modifications, I have my ears pierced, a givin, and a handful of tattoo's. I'll admit it, I'm a tattoo junkie. But I only get meaningful tattoo's, not something stupid, like random designs going up my arm. My first tattoo that I got is my favorite. I was a bit scared to get a tattoo because I heard it hurt a lot. After thinking it over for days, I got an infinity symbolon my upper back. My mother had this tattoo on her ankle, so I thought I should have one as well. My second tattoo is a feather that turns into ravens as you reach the top on my left shoulder. I just thought this one was really cool, and I just got done seeing the Alice In Wonderland movie, Tim Burton style. I've always been a fan of the Mad Hatter and Jonny Depp, and one of the lines from the movie was stuck in my head. Why is a raven like a writing desk? I was walking home and I passed the tattoo shop as usual. The picture for the tattoo was hanging in the window and I just had to have it, so I got a new tattoo. I'm thinking about getting another one, I just don't know what it's going to be yet. 
I don't really have a set style. Most times I just wear something that fits in with the crowd. I wish I could wear something like this, but I don't think I could pull it off. My favorite outfit would have to be this, just because of the shoes. On rainy days, I'll usually wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Yellow or blue probably looks the best on me. I try to dress as casually as possible. You know, so I can blend in with the crowd. If I had the choice, I wouldn't wear shoes. I love flip flops and sandals. Most girls say they hate dressing up, but I secretly love it. It gives me a change to feel special. I love the store Hot Topic. It's where I found my favorite things in life. Hats and ither hair accesories make my life complete. My head just feels naked without something in my hair.
Captain America Collection My Favorite Hats YOLO My Babies (Phone and Ipod) __________________________________________________________________________________________________
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I've got a big personality for such a small person. Let's start off with the most obvious one. I'm a bit weird. I've got this nerdy side of me that is just begging to come out. My imagination is as big as the sky. I don't really have a filter when I'm in thinking mode, I just say what I want. I'm the happiest when I'm in relaxing mode though. This only happens when I'm with my friends. I usually am myself around my friends, which if loud and crazy. But who doesn't have crazy friends? We are all crazy in our own way. I'm obsessed with super heros. More specifically, Steve Rogers, A.K.A Captain America. I can talk about super heros for days. When people aren't looking, I color outside the lines. I love to smile and laugh. I enjoy doing things with my hands, like taking pictures or painting. I want to be a professional photographer when I am old enough to be shoved into the real world.
When you first meet me, I'll probably be very shy and trying to go through a wall. I'm not really the girl that is pointed out in public. I get very uncomfortable in crowded places and hate the spotlight. No one really praised me when I was growing up, so I just assumed that spotlight was bad. I enjoy singing, but have awful stage fright. People say I have a very powerful voice when I'm alone and singing. That's the problem though. I can't sing infront of other people. I'm completely oblivious to the world around me. You could throw a car at me and I wouldn't see it until it hit me. I get lost in music all the time, expecially in the car. That's why driving scares me. I'm afraid that one day I won't be paying attention and I'll hit someone or something.
Brave wouldn't be a word that describes me. I'm the biggest weenie I know. Daring wouldn't be a word either. When you think of brave, daring people, you think of hero's, not shy teenage girls. I don't really stand up for myself. If someone puts me down, I just try to not show emotion. I save my tears for my pillow. I am the exact opposite of a drama queen. I don't have a loud voice, so my yelling is talking loudly. I'm very good as keeping secrets though. Part of it is because I'm so quiet. The other part is good listening.
I don't anger easily, but if somehow I manage to get angry, I'm nothing to be afraid of. I just ball my fists together and suck in my cheeks. I do that when I'm nervous as well. The worst thing I've ever done to someone was give them the silent treatment for 3 minutes. I don't hit things, I think it's barbaric. Sassy isn't a word to describe me. I don't understand sarcasim at all, which in turn, makes me look dumb. So, in conclusion, I'm about as frightening as a lost baby penguin. I'm so quiet, I never get my point across. People tend to not listen to me.
I'm very caring. I care more about the people around me than myself. I'm usually the last in line for everything, even though I hate waiting. I'm very motherly, which isn't very strange considering I raised myself. Books and movies are my sweet escape. They inspire the rebellious girl inside me. I usually always listen to adults, but sometimes there is a little spark of rebellion and I don't do what I'm told. Breaking rules has always been hard for me. I'm just the girl in the backround. The white noise.
Let's start off with the fact that I was an accident. Niether of my parents wanted a baby, and sure as h*ll didn't know how to take care of one. They didn't go to any classes, read any books, or get any help from their parents. My father claims he read a book or two. I guess that explains why he did so much for me when I was a baby. I nearly split my parents up, but my father was the one who wanted to stay together. He did everything in his power to keep my mother happy. My parents love was different than others in a way. Usually, love is equal in families, but it was obvious that my father was a pain to my mother. She used to whisper to me after days were he was being particularly annoying that she only stayed with him because she wanted me to have two parents. It wasn't suprising that I was very close to my mother. My father would not let my mother work, so she stayed home with me. Father isn't really a family man. He's a workoholic. His life goal was to be so rich, that my mother wouldn't have to lift a finger for the rest of her life. My father loves to spoil people, expecially my mother. While father was at work, my mother and I would have a blast at home. I remember one day she took me to the zoo and told me all about monkeys. Monkeys are my mothers absolute favorite animals. I started to like monkeys as well because I looked up to my mother. Everything she did was sacred, I had to do it the exact same way. My life was perfect, just my mother and I in our own little happy bubble. Nothing could touch us, or so I thought.
My mother died when I was 6. I don't remember specific details. I remember she took me up to my room and told me. She had a doctors appointment earlier that day, and she said the doctors didn't have good news for her. She said that the doctors said it was time for her to go to a happier place. She sounded so happy about it, I didn't even notice the tears running down her cheeks. My mother was good at decieving people. I asked her if I could go along with her. That's when I first saw the tears. She shook her head no and said something was wrong with her heart, something bad that only quiet could fix. I didn't think anything of it. I was 6 for crying out loud. She died a week later. I asked my father where she was every day for 3 days. I think it wore him down. On the day of her funeral, he snapped. He shouted at me, saying she died and she was never coming back. It's the only time I've ever seen my father cry. I was heartbroken. She didn't tell me she was dying. I can remember being and my room alone, since mom wasn't there to tuck me in anymore. I promised I would be very quiet if she came back, that I'd be a good girl. That day, something died inside of me and my father. The perky little girl was gone, leaving a quiet, shy child in her shoes. My father got a severe case of deppresion a month after her death.
My father started to ignore me after he got deppression. I was left alone after school. I had to make my own dinner, clean my own clothes, I had to do pretty much a mothers job because my father worked from 4 in the morning to 9 at night. Work was his saving grace. It took his mind off my mother. I think that's why he resented me. He always used to say I looked just like my mom. The kids at school treated me differently as well. Instead of being nice to me and trying to be my friend, they steered clear of me, like they would die if they came near me. I was an outcast until 7th grade. I was finally invisible. No one payed attention to me at home, so why should they pay attention to me at school? That was my theory. I had become neglected. No one loved me or hated me. I was a forgotten shadow, lost in the middle of the pack, starving for some recognition just once.
I like a lot of things. If you asked me to sort through my entire list of things I like, we'd be here for days. Let's just go with the things that I like the most, like super heros. My favorite super hero would have to be Captain America. The funny thing is, I'm not from America. Not even close. I live in a small little town about 5 hours south of London. I love band-aids, but they have to be extra sticky. Is it bad that I love the feeling of ripping off band-aids? The prettier the band-aid, the better. Music just so happens to be my life. It has the power to change my mood in an instant. One moment, I'll be about to punch a hole in my wall. Just turn on some music and my mood will brighten. I love singing. It's my passion. My father says I have a very big voice. Since I'm very insecure, I only sing for my stuffed animals and my shampoo. Yes, I sing in the shower. I love the feeling of things under my finger nails. Teddy bears are the worlds best defenders. I've had a teddy bear by my side since I was 3. My favorite animal is a turtle, or a giraffe. I could talk for hours, but I hate the sound of my voice, so I usually keep quiet. You seriously have to take down my walls with an ax and a jack hammer to get me to talk to you. I like spying. I'm very good at it since I'm so small. Cooking is a favorite leisurely activity of mine besides singing. I've been told that I'm a very good cook. I hope that's true, I don't want to poison people! The outdoors is my favorite place to be. Roller coasters are the best source of a rush. Shows for little kids rock, expecially cartoons. Cats are the softest creatures on earth and are the best cuddlers. I can't go to bed without tea. It's just an old habbit I've picked up from my dad. I love camera's. Taking pictures makes me feel calm.
I dislike a lot things. The one thing I can't stand is slow people. I don't mean mentally, I mean physically. I can't stand it when people walk slower than I do and I can't get around them. I also hate people without manners. I hold the door open for so many people and about 4 out of 10 people say thank you. It's just so rude! I can't mix my food together. It's just so gross. I can't stand migranes, but I get them constantly. I hate traffic. I have major road rage. Rap is the worst music ever. It makes me throw up. Speaking of throwing up, sparkles make me want to puke. So do the drama queens who wear them. I hate the fact I talk in my sleep and drool. Squirrels are pure evil. I hate the fact that I don't have money. I need more money. Being lonely is the worst feeling in the word. Trust me, I know the feeling quite well. Being cold is also extremely awful. Numbers are a gift from Satin himself. So are guns. I hate guns with an utmost passion. I refuse to shoot a gun, or even be in the same room as one.
I'm absolutely terrified of needles. I pass out every time I need a shot. It's pretty sad since I'm nearly 18 years old. I'm also very scared of bugs. Spiders to be more specific. Who isn't though? Being in the dark scares me, and so do horror movies. I'm a big weenie, so a lot of things scare me. I hate it when people jump out at me. Scares the p*ss out of me. My mother used to do it as a joke. Every morning she would hide behind a corner and jump out and scare me. This is really lame, but I'm terrified that I'll get into a car accident. I'm a very careful driver most times. I have awful stage fright.
I guess I should start off with my mother, who is deceased. She was a fun loving woman much like myself. There is my workoholic father who doesn't give to cares about me. I don't have a very big family. No aunts or uncles. Both of my parents were only children. The only living grandparents I have currently live 1000 miles away from me. Now for my fuzzies, or pets. I only have a small black cat. I don't believe in bad luck, so I named him 13. He's about 4 years old and the smallest cat I've ever seen. He's pretty messed up actually. He has a chunck missing out of his left year and he limps. 13 is kind of chuncky. He needs help getting on the couch. He is the most pathetic excuse for a cat, but I love him.
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Currently, I'm single. I've always been single. No guy really notices me. I've never held anyones hand but my fathers, is that sad? I have yet to be kissed as well. I know I know, I lead a sad little lonely life style. Just in case you were wondering, I'm straight. I'm straighter than a straight line. Don't get me wrong, I'm in full support of Gay Rights. Don't even get me started on Gay Rights. Just those words get me so fired up. Moving on, I've never had a crush that wasn't impossible. My impossible crushes include, Robert Downy Jr., Chris Evans, Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, and Louis Tomlinson.
I kindasortanotreally want to be in a relationship, but I need the perfect guy. He has to laugh a lot and love to have fun. There has to be a bit of a childish side to him, but he can be comforting and caring when needed. He seriously have to make me feel better. He's got to be my prince. I'm a sucker for baby blue eyes. He's got to love me for me. I want to fall in love with my best friend, not just some guy that I thought was hot. He's got to be a tad mysterious, but if he's not, he can play it off like he is. He's got to be cuddler that I can have a normal conversation with, but still end up giggling at the end. He's got to be there all the time, not just when he wants to be. I hope he sings to me and does suprising romantic things. I've always wanted my boyfriend to win me a stuffed animal at a carnival and have a kiss in the rain.
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