Little Tales (please critique)

[AlexiM01]

bumparoo

[AlexiM01]

Please comment and critique my tales

Bumplease

[AlexiM01]

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[lynettetan1]

thats so mean!!!

[AlexiM01]

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[AlexiM01]

please comment and critique my tales

[AlexiM01]

B U M P

[AlexiM01]

7.Salmon Day(This title was inspired by a rp that I'm in)
Gaphyte smiled, yawning as he approached the river. He had a good life. It was different from the lives of regular bears like himself but he still loved it and treasured it more than anything in the world. He stared curiously at his ripping reflection in the river. He had promised his only friend that he would fetch salmon for their dinner. His only friend was what made life different from other grizzly bears. Gaphyte's friend was a young girl named Avalon. She had found him as an injured cub and had nursed him back to health. Gaphyte wouldn't dream of hurting Avalon, not for all the salmon in the world.

Suddenly, there was a large splash and Gaphyte was sprayed like a flower. His heart pounded. It was time. Within minutes Gaphyte was running toward one of the greatest joys in life- salmon. Gaphyte's teeth sunk into a dozen salmon. Satisfied, he dragged the delicacies by the tail fin toward Avalon. She would definitely be pleased. The scent of the salmon sent his senses to the heavens. Suddenly, he spotted the cottage. Gaphyte hurried, leaping as he got closer and closer to his friend, who was patiently waiting for him.

[AlexiM01]

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[AlexiM01]

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