A story. Please comment and critique.

[lynettetan1]

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[lynettetan1]

bump,

[AlexiM01]

*clap* *clap* Really good:) But im a little bit confused about the part before Raven and Ragnar are mentioned. Well done

[lynettetan1]

Both will be elaborated on more, Ragnar not that much, hes a pretty minimal character that is talked about a lot, but is actually pretty big. Lol I just made no sense.

[chintz]

lol is great

[lynettetan1]

thanks!!

[lynettetan1]

Chapter 2(I know what you meant, Katie, and I am actually taking this into mind, but I tried it out for the last chapter, and red is one of my favourite colours, so yeah...)

Raven padded through the concrete jungle laid out before her, she felt sad to leave, sad to leave the place she had ever known, but this was not the place she would want her little ones to grow up in, she knew, she grew up here after all, and look what she was now, a killing machine, basically used for Ragnar's use, a small chess piece in a whole game board. She walked out of the place, deciding maybe to come back, one day, when her kittens were grown, and she had no more regrets, it would be good to visit the place again, to see the 'gang' and her old friends. Thats what stung most. Her friends. The only ones she had ever known, and she was leaving them. Oh, stop dilly dallying, any longer and you will be caught. Her grey eyes glinted slightly with determination, and she walked out, looking around, many strange creatures stared at her, and they walked on their hind legs only. How queer. She stared at them slightly, and one walked up to her and started messing up her fur! What was this... thing's problem?! She gave a slight hiss, quickening her pace, her velvet paws softly pressing against the concrete, and they made no sound as they quickly pounded against the floor. She looked around as she walked, her tail giving a slight flick as she assessed where she was. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew it would have to be somewhere safe, somewhere where they would think all was good in the world, not growing up like she did. She shuddered slightly at the thought.

She stared at the bright lights above her, unsure of where she was. The city slightly disorientated her, though she had been in it for so long. She went in a straight line, believing she would reach somewhere soon, and after a while came to a forest. As her paw pads were sore, she decided to have a rest, but feeling the bulge in her stomach, she decided not to. She padded into the forest, leaving the concrete jungle behind her for a real jungle. She looked around, immediately finding a hole in a tree. She climbed up there with hard difficulty, before looking inside. There was a squirrel in there, and it would have been woken up by all the sounds had it not already been dead. Strange, who would put a dead squirrel in here? The glassy eyes stared at her, and she gulped and gently closed them. She pressed a nose to the limp pile of fur. Well this was weird, the squirrel was still warm, meaning someone had recently killed it. hmm... She decided not to stay there, figuring it was to risky, and though she was exhausted from the climb up, she climbed all the way back down again. Her grey eyes scanned the area, looking around. She didnt see anything, but the faint smell of fox did reach her nose. She went closer, and poked her head in, coming face to face with an abandoned fox den, slightly caved in. The scent covered her completely, and she decided it was a better place then the other strangely perfect one. Not to soon, either. When she was about to go in after all that digging, she heard a flurry of wings, looking up to see an owl entering the hole in the tree. She sighed. Thank goodness. She thought, as she went in. Her kits were coming really soon, it was why she escaped so easily in the first place, Ragnar figured she was to exhausted by every movement to run. But she had accomplished it, She smiled to herself happily. As she felt a kick, and slightly gasped, she sighed to herself. This was going to be a long night...

[AlexiM01]

Wow! U now have a stalker XD this is great:)

[lynettetan1]

bump.

[AlexiM01]

please post more