. : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Critics welcome!

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. : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Critics welcome!

Postby Hawk ♥ Hunter » Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:52 pm

Half-Blood
This is the story of two cats who were born half clan and deal with the life on how both of their clans and the other two clans are raging at war!

(c)Erin Hunter's for the original series 'Warriors
(c)Supahhawk123/Hawk ♥ Hunter for the story,& charries.

Okay so I began to write this on my DA acc. and wanted it post it here.If ya wanna favorite on your DA account here is the link.
Link

I also want someone to critique my story please...

Hope ya enjoy ;)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Prologue


Many moons ago there was a large war between four clans.Darkclan,Snowclan,Brokenclan, and Bearclan...and they raged at war.Out of those four clans there were two cats who were fond of one another.One being from Brokenclan and the other from Snowclan,they had been friends since kithood and never fought during the two clans constant battles for territory.Their names were Shadowslash and Crystaldream,Shadowslash being from Brokenclan and Crystaldream being from Snowclan.Through out the war they made visits to one another in parts of the area that borders there lands.Their favorite spot was a place called Ice Pool,laying right in the middle of both territory's and there were on the only places were they could be with each other.

You may be wondering,What about gatherings?Couldn't they be with each other there?Well i'm afraid to say that couldn't be...and not because they would be nuzzling and giving off the worlds biggest hints of their love.The problem was that they no longer had gatherings.They fought so much not even a gathering could bring peace,every time one came around starclan blocked the sky.Soon no one came to the gathering area known as Great Rocks,and it was abounded.Few cats still went there,those who believed that the gatherings should return,but the only cats who went there were two cats from Bearclan,one from Darkclan,and two from Snowclan.

During one of their visits Crystaldream was acting strange and unusually happy.Of course the she-cat was happy all the time but today she was more happy then regular.Shadowslash smiled at her and chuckled"Why ya so happy today?"he asked her with his cool deep voice.She smiled and let out a small giggle before running off"Gotcha catch me first!"she called to him before dashing off into her territory.Shadowslash accepted the challenge and took off after the white she-cat,the hard part was that her pelt was white and her territory is plain covered in snow.He sniffed the air and waved tail in air,looking for her sweet smelling scent.Finally he caught her scent and took off after it,his orange eyes locked on the snowy ground.He came to a dent in the ground were the she-cat laid,the tom pounced onto her and she let out a mrow of of surprise and laughter.She rolled onto her back,looking at the tom face to face before pulling him closer and licking his cheek and nose.The dark tom chuckled and smiled and looked at her before winking.She smiled before leaning her head closer"Shadowslash...I'm pregnant."


A few moons later


Crystaldream sat in the nursery,digging her claws into the ground and feeling like she was going to explode.Outside was a ongoing battle between Brokenclan and Snowclan,raging on and on.The medicine cat Coldnose and one of the queens who left the nursery a moon ago were in the nursery helping the she-cat with her kits.
"Cmon Crystaldream you have to push!"the light gray tom said to her,he had a worried expression in his eyes.The queen grabbed a stick and gave it the she-cat"When you push bit on it."she said,and Crystaldream nodded.She grasped the stick and bit into it,hard...her teeth almost breaking it.She felt a bit of relief after words,the first kit was out and was being licked quickly by the queen before being placed at her side to get some milk.She felt the relief leave as soon as it had came and bit down on the stick,this time breaking it.The next kit was out,the queen quickly licked it roughly on it's back before placing it by it's mother.Crystaldream there was no more use in the stick anymore and just pushed,letting out a loud yowl before panting very hard and slamming her face onto the den ground.She smiled when she felt the other kit retrieve it's milk...it was over.
Just as soon as she had received,they were taken.Two Brokenclan warriors came running into the nursery,attacking Coldnose and the past queen.One of the Brokenclan warriors slashing at Coldnose's throat,the other biting down at the queen's neck.As soon as they were dead they attacked Crystaldream,she let out a cry of help wanting her mate to rush in and help her defend her kits.He never came in...Crystaldream felt a few tears escape from her eye as she clawed at the eyes of one of the warriors before collapsing due to the fact she was knocked down and exhausted.The warriors grabbed two of her kits before leaving the nursery,she watched confused.Why didn't they take the third kit and just ruin her life more then ever? She turned her head,a huge blood splatter on the wall and a dead kit under it,the small tom must of been slammed against the wall after being hit by one of the warriors claws.

She left the den,actually dragged her self out of the den and looked at the grizzly scene.The once white snow now had large pools of red and dead cats of both clans,she looked around frantically before seeing the body of her mate not to far from the nursery with it's stomach slit and throat slashed.It was official,she was ruined...she had nothing to live for.Then too she joined the dead bodies as a dark pelted warrior came from behind and slashed at her and knocked her down to the ground.He let out a smirk before biting down on her neck and letting her blood turn the snow red.
At the end of the battle the two clans were able to learn about the two lover's love and their kits.Both the clans reached a agreement to let each clan have the same gender kit as there parent was.Snowclan gained a light gray she-kit with darker stripes and white paws and named her Dawnkit.Brokenclan took in the other,a large for his young age sized tom with a dark gray pelt with black paws and stripes with icy blue eyes named Frozenkit.
Last edited by Hawk ♥ Hunter on Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥
♀ + ♀ = ♥
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Re: . : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Posting welcome!

Postby Hawk ♥ Hunter » Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:53 pm

Chapter 1
Frozenpaw's P.O.V



The forest was silent,nothing made a sound.The chirping of birds was ceased and everything was still.A dark gray figure made it's way through the forest,his icy eyes narrowed on his prize.An adult rabbit was sitting in front of him,basking in the sunlight and laying perfectly still.The tom saw his chance and made the leap at the large creature.For a rabbit it was quite large in size,but to the young tom who was almost the size of a full grown warrior it was no big deal.

The tom held the dead rabbit in his jaws before a shadowy figure approached from behind and smiled"Well done Frozenpaw!"the shadowy tom said.Frozenpaw nodded his head"Thank you Nightwhisper."Frozenpaw replied.The pitch black tom,Nightwhisper,nodded his head and smiled"Cmon lets get back to camp,we have a ceremony to attend!"he said before running off.Frozenpaw smiled and ran towards Brokenclan camp,the rabbit dangling in his jaws.Due to Frozenpaw being so large Nightwhisper requested his warrior ceremony when he was 9 moons.But the leader at the time told him no,due to the fact he was only 9 moons and he had to wait tell he was 12 moons.Now Frozenpaw was 12 moons,and he caught a pretty big catch!Enough to feed the Icepath and Littleflower's wild and hungry kits.

When he stepped into the camp he dropped down his large meal,as soon as he dropped it kits lunged at it and began to tear at it.Frozenpaw licked his paw and waved his tail back and forth before noticing two new warriors starring at him and whispering.They became warriors about a moon ago due to how brave they were in another battle with Darkclan.Truthfully they actually just attacked cats who were smaller then them and were probably only 6 moons old.As soon as they found the dead body of Rattail they began to hiss at it and pretend they took down the great deputy of the clan.Actually the one who did kill him was killed soon afterwards so the Brokenclan leader Foxstar made them warriors at 11 moons. Completely unfair....

Frozenpaw made a silent hiss and his fur bristled"What are ya cowards looking at?"he said with a booming voice.The two small toms chuckled before getting up"Nothing Bigfoot!"they said before stalking away.Frozenpaw sighed"Of course..."he said narrowing his eyes at the two.You see ever since he came to Brokenclan he was very big for his size,so the two cowards called him Bigfoot.He did have pretty big paws so they made fun of him for it,bt did these comments hurt him?Heck no!He was better then them,he was stronger then them,he was more bigger then them...he could easily pin them both to the ground and give them about one hundred scars all over their bodys.Instead he wold just snort and walk off.

"All cats old enough to kill Snowclan cats meet under the Brokenstone!"Foxstar roared at his clan.And yes you heard him correct,he did say old enough to kill Snowclan cats.Foxstar has a large hatred for them,in the battle of CrystalShadows he lost part of his left ear and his right eye.So now the fox looking leader looked a bit frightening to kits...even his own kits were scared of him.Frozenpaw stepped to the front row along with his mentor and another apprentice.He looked at the other apprentice,his name was Buzzardpaw.He was one of the newest editions to Foxstar's family,but he had his ceremony late due to illness.The brown tabby waved his tail,his mentor smirking at his apprentice before looking up.

"Cats of Brokenclan!"he shouted"Among us we have two young cats!They are brave,strong,and are some of the clans best fightrs and hunters!"he yelled out before looking down at Frozenpaw and Buzzardpaw."Buzzardpaw and Frozenpaw step forward please..."he said,the two cats stepped forward both of there whiskers twitching with excitement."Do you both accept Brokenclan ways and fallow the warrior code?"he asked them,both apprentices nodded"I do"they both said."Do you promise to protect your clan at the cost of your life?Do you promise to hunt for the sake of the clan?"he once again asked.Both cats replied with a nod and a"I do".Then the leader smirked"Do you promise to help with the battle of Snowclan and kill all who get in our way?"he asked.Of course Buzzardpaw said I do first but something about killing Snowclan made Frozenpaw pelts tingle.Of course he was loyal to his clan and why should he feel pity on a stupid clan full of cats who live in snow.Frozenpaw smirked and nodded"I do!"he said.

Foxstar smiled and took a step forward,his son did the same"Buzzardpaw,you've shown courage and always use your claws in intense situations.You will help us greatly in battle.Your'e new name will be Buzzardclaw and you will be accepted as a full member of our clan."he said with a grin.Buzzardclaw nodded and smiled when he heard his name become roared through out the whole clan.
"Thank you father."the warrior replied.His father nodded and Frozenpaw stepped forward"Frozenpaw,you have so much to offer.Your large size is like a weapon.Soon you will get bigger and you will be the strongest cats in the forest!You have so much fighting in your soul that you will do me,no...us proud!"he yelled at the top of his lungs"From now on your new name will be Frozensoul and you are now a truly recognized warrior!"Foxstar yelled.Frozensoul smiled and listened to his name being chanted,it was music to his ears.Soon he would be on the front line fighting Snowclan...their greatest enemy,and he already had a strategy planned out.What's a clan with out a medicine cat and medicine apprentice?

♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥
♀ + ♀ = ♥
Love is Love
♥ I Love you Hunter ♥

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Re: . : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Posting welcome!

Postby Hawk ♥ Hunter » Tue Jan 03, 2012 10:06 am

Bump...

♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥
♀ + ♀ = ♥
Love is Love
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Re: . : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Posting welcome!

Postby Hawk ♥ Hunter » Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:31 pm

Hawk ♥ Hunter wrote:Bump...

♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥
♀ + ♀ = ♥
Love is Love
♥ I Love you Hunter ♥

ImageImageImageImageImageImage
Cookie Monsta 4 Teh Lawlz :U
BOTDF

Happy Almost 3 Months Hunter!I love you
-Shelby-

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Hawk ♥ Hunter
 
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Re: . : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Critics welcome

Postby wolf ;; » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:44 am

Ok, I think this is a great story, but most people put a new line every time a new character talks

Example:


Hawk ♥ Hunter wrote:
The tom held the dead rabbit in his jaws before a shadowy figure approached from behind and smiled"Well done Frozenpaw!"the shadowy tom said.
Frozenpaw nodded his head"Thank you Nightwhisper."Frozenpaw replied.
The pitch black tom,Nightwhisper,nodded his head and smiled"Cmon lets get back to camp,we have a ceremony to attend!"he said before running off.
Frozenpaw smiled and ran towards Brokenclan camp,the rabbit dangling in his jaws.Due to Frozenpaw being so large Nightwhisper requested his warrior ceremony when he was 9 moons.But the leader at the time told him no,due to the fact he was only 9 moons and he had to wait tell he was 12 moons.Now Frozenpaw was 12 moons,and he caught a pretty big catch!Enough to feed the Icepath and Littleflower's wild and hungry kits.


And it would go on like that.
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Re: . : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Critics welcome

Postby Hawk ♥ Hunter » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:40 pm

Ya I often do that but i guess I just wasn't in in the mood x3

But I plan to put up Dawnpaw's P.O.V with that soon ^^

♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥
♀ + ♀ = ♥
Love is Love
♥ I Love you Hunter ♥

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Cookie Monsta 4 Teh Lawlz :U
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Happy Almost 3 Months Hunter!I love you
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Re: . : Half-Blood : . (A warrior's fan-fic/Critics welcome

Postby Halostar » Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:29 pm

really good story!
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