Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

Haven't been able to write in you for a bit.
Apparently that gunshot was more serious then they first thought. I had to go into surgery.
It sucked.
When I woke up afterwards Gothie was there. 'Thanks, Wingman,' he said. 'It would be me in that bed if it wasn't for you. Or 6 feet under, pushing daisies.'
I smiled. I didn't want to laugh. 'Yeah, anytime man. Wait, hold that thought-no. It hurts too freakin' much.'
Gothie smiled too, as Beauty came back from the cafeteria. Gothie looked over the hospital room. 'I want to be a surgeon when I grow up.'
'Why?' asked Beauty. 'So you can save lives?'
'No,' Gothie replied. 'So I can eat their innards.'
Beauty laughed, and so did I.
Ow.
Gothie didn't even crack a smile.
Is he serious?
Oh crap.
Please don't let him be serious.
Does he want to eat my innards?!
Hope not.
He owes me, so he better not.
Or I will come back from the dead and eat his innards.
Wait I won't that's gross.
A nurse came in to shoo them away. Apparently I needed rest.
Yeah right.
I am resting.
I'm freakin' lying in bed! All I'm doing is talking!
The nurse says I won't be release for 2 weeks.
Crap.
How do you fill up 2 weeks in a hospital bed?!

Bye Noobcake

[KittyKat7658]

Bookmarking!

[HonouNoKage]

bookmarking

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

Next few days/week/s are kind of bleah, so they don't really fill an entry. So whatever.
2 weeks in prison. Confined to my bed. Can't move. Of course, that is reinforced by the fact I hurt everytime I try. Why do I keep trying? It's stupid.
I am stupid though.
It smells like sickness and soap.
Why do they make the soap smell so freakin' strong?! It burns my nostrils.
Had two more surgeries.
How many surgeries can a wolf get in the space of two weeks?!
Wonder how Greenbutt and Rainbowy are paying for this.
No, wait, I know how. I won an award for bravery or something. Yippee skip it was soooo worth it. I got some money with it. Quite a lot. That's a comfort. But, since I am a minor, Greenbutt has control over it. So that's how.
My money.
Get your green paws off my greenbacks.
Oh wait I have green paws.
...
Whatever.
Gothie visits often. His stepmom and his real dad came in to visit me. They kept thanking me. Yay.
I had a headache.
Before and after.
Beauty visits even more often.
Kissing still hurts.
Why does the world hate me?!
I think I'm going through lovely kiss withdrawal. You know...the kind that doesn't hurt.
Like now. Hi Beauty...no you can't write in this
Hi! I'm forever in your diary! Kisses!
Dang it. She beat me to it. Where'd she get that pen?!
She called it a diary.
It's noobcake.
Anyway, I might be released soon.

See ya, NOOBCAKE NOT DIARY

[dasniu]

Bookmarking <.<

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,
Woot! I'm out of prison...er...the hospital!
I mean, they heal you and stuff. They save lives. But come on! I hated every second of those 2 weeks. It smelled like soap and I couldn't walk around...blahdeblablablublah.
I have to wear a bandage now. It sucks.
Guess what-as soon as I got out of the hospital, I had to go back. Grrr.
Because of something...the mini Greenbutt is on its way. Rainbowy has to go to the hospital, and I have to come with. Grrr. Freakin' prison.
I'm writing this in the hospital waiting room.
Greenbutt is pacing. He's all nervous. Hmmmm I wonder why? Just so you know noobcake, *sarcasm* Duh.
Purna is examining his new scar in front of a handheld mirror. I thought only girls used those for their makeup. He should be proud, not hide it. Now we're twins...fa la la la la.
One of the nurses just recognized me. 'What'd you do this time, Xialburg?' So I told her about Rainbowy.
Ohhhhh a new nurse came out to us.
'Congratulations,' she said. 'It's a boy!'
Great. It really is a mini Greenbutt. Greenbutt Sr. eyes widened and he smiled. We get to go see the new puppy.
Aw I think I'm melting. I can't hate him...sort of. He's all puny and hairless. Ewwwww.
A new nurse gave us the birth certificate. Greenbutt and Rainbowy are supposed to sign it as the parents, as its new name. I get to look at it.
Hmm...Greenbutt and Rainbowy both signed it, but Greenbutt's so in shock, and Rainbowy's so tired they neglected to put the name in. I can't let him go nameless! Fortunately...I have a pen...and an excellent skill in forging signatures...
My wildest dreams came true. I handed the birth certificate to the doctor. He raised his eyebrows but accepted it. In wolf society, noobcake, it is impossible to change your name. You will get arrested if you do. For the kid's name, I put:

Greenbutt Jr.
Wait 'til Greenbutt and Rainbowy find out.

I'm cracking up...bye noobcake.

[The Dolorosa]

Why is the chat thread locked? TT.TT
But like,srsly,Greenbutt Jr.? genius

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

OMIGOSH LOL.
No wait I can't Lol that still hurts. SL! (silent laugh!)
I'm not in trouble for naming the puppy Greenbutt Jr.! Well, partly. Greenbutt Sr. thought that the many times I had called him that, and his shock of having a puppy, that he just wrote it down. I'm still grounded for a week though. Still, could've been worse.
Jr. like, never shuts up. He's always wailing about something. How do you shut up a puppy? He's starting to get fur now... its all green. Big surprise.
Now that I don't want anymore girls, and I have a nice girlfriend, GIRLS ARE SWARMING ME. It's like that not-really-scary BIRDS movie with female wolves.
I'm getting stalked.
I'm a little frightened to go out of the house.
I have to fly to avoid trampling them.
Grr....why did I have to be so noble?!
Also, if I go outside, I get ambushed by TV crews. They all want, "The Hero's Opinion." Pffft. Whatever. All I did was make sure my friend didn't die.
Wait...
Hero?
Pups growing up are all excited. They want to be famous, to live the life where everyone knows you. A word to the wise- Don't get famous. You get stalkers. And TV crews. Nothing is private. Seriously.
I bet it will die down in a while though.
Please let it die down.
I got to hold Jr. He was all squirmy and whacked me in my ribs.
STILL TENDER THERE. Shouldn't he know that I just got shot?!
Well, it was like a month ago now.
Has it been that long?
Shouldn't the wound stop hurting? Just in case, I'm still wearing my bandages.
Bad thing about being in the hospital for two weeks-
EXTRA WORK FROM ABC AGH.
And I still haven't done that 20 page ''plant gets food from sun" essay.
I'll ask Beauty if she'll help me.

Bye Noobcake!

[dasniu]

omg green butt Jr. classic.

[Al the Dalek]

Removed