Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

[Al the Dalek]

Thanks!

Dear Noobcake,

School sucked today. Well, half of it sucked and half of it was YESSSS BEST DAY EVER!

Sucky part was that ABC assigned us all a 20 page essay about photosynthesis. Can you even fill 20 pages with crap about photosynthesis?! I can't really fill as sentence. Plant makes food from sun. Fa la la la la. Yay I'm done. Nope. Maybe... Beauty gave me and Gothie an idea that we could use a thesaurus to look up words, so we could repeat the same exact thing, but word it different.
Gothie said, 'Oh. When you said we could use a thesaurus I thought we would hit ABC over the head with it so she would have amnesia so we wouldn't have to do the assignment.'
We stared at him again and started laughing. We all have seats next to each other. ABC got mad at us and told us to shut up.
Beauty leaned over to me and said, 'I thought it was illegal for teachers to tell students to shut up.'
Oh and check this out-Beauty told all of her friends, who told their friends, who told their friends, who told the school, that from now on we're going to call ABC-Mr. ABC. It's a riot.
We had spaghetti with tofu meatballs for lunch. Crap. I can't even escape what I have for dinner. I think Greenbutt tells the lunch people all the gross stuff we had for dinner if I didn't eat it, so I can't help but eat it.
Beauty, Gothie, and I have set up/formed/sat at our own little table together. I think we're becoming friends. Geez it happened fast. Whatever. At least Purna no longer comes over to my table to bug me. He's scared of Gothie. I told Gothie that and he did this really creep grin. I think all of his teeth are fangs. Seriously. They're all jagged like shark teeth. Brrrrrr.
Oh well. He adds humor to the group.
I still haven't asked Beauty to go out with me yet. I asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she said no. 'All of the boys here are stupid.'
'What about me?' I asked.
'Moderately stupid,' she replied, grinning. Gothie laughed at this, and we all stared at him.
'I thought your laugh-box died,' said Beauty.
'It's ghost likes to hang around,' he said.
After school detention was uneventful today. We had to write lines. Beauty had to write, "I will not call my female teacher a man." I had to write, "I will not shoot spitballs at the teacher." One good thing about detention-Beauty's in it with me.
Oh. My. Good. Golly. Goodness. With. A. Pile. Of. Crap. On. Top.
I came home today, and Greenbutt was waiting for me. He was all smiley. It was kind of creepy. 'Guess what?' he asked.
'Purna broke his neck and he's in the hospital?' I asked hopefully.
'No,' said Greenbutt. 'You're mom's pregnant!'
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH A MINI GREENBUTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
I didn't say this out loud but I ran in my room and stared at my wall. I can't really move. I can barely write this. So that's why she was getting fat. AAAAAAAAAAAGH! I have to suffer through another kid?! Purna was bad enough!!! BLEAGH!

Bye Noobcake, I think I'm going to throw up now.

[dimond1818]

I LOVE THIS!! Noobcake made me almost fall on the floor laughing! I love how Beauty is good looking but sorta a trickster. And Gothie!!! Wow. I'll have to do this sometime. I'm gonna read this EVERY DAY!!

[Al the Dalek]

Wow, I didn't know that everyone would love this so much!

Dear Noobcake

I am in like super slow mode I'm still in shock after yesterday look at me I'm not even using much punctuation that's pathetic I'll fix it later oh wait crap I'm using pen oh well it doesn't really matter I wonder if ABC will eat me if she sees this entry
told Beauty and Gothie about Rainbowy.
Beauty said, 'why did you say mom like that it was like you had quotation marks around it'
I said, 'well I did she's not my real mom I'm adopted'
Beauty stared at me and then said, 'wow, I didn't know that what about Purna'
'he's my real brother wish he wasn't though he's such a turd'
Beauty rolled her eyes and Gothie said, 'did you know you're real parents'
I got a little ticked, but not enough to say anything major so I said, 'yes I did I don't like to talk about it'
Gothie dropped the subject and started flicking stuff at the girl in front of him
Beauty and I were in detention today, talking
I wasn't using correct punctuation in my lines so ABC sentenced me to a whole 'nother week
then Beauty said 'mr. ABC, is it true you went to prom with your mom'
so she got a whole 'nother week too I wonder if she did it to be with me
I hope so
Okay I've got to snap myself back into shape. No more of shock mode. So what if there's going to be a mini Greenbutt? Maybe I can influence it to be my little minion. Mra ha ha.
Called Beauty up to tell her this. She laughed and told me to make it think it's name is mini Greenbutt. We laughed even harder. I hung up smiling and went to bed.

Night Noobcake.

[dimond1818]

Username: dimond1818
Level of Lol (1 to 10): 10. . . MILLION! XD
Compliments: The main character is hillarious!! And so is everything else!!! NOOBCAKE!!! XD
Criticism: I think his brother should be more involved
Other: FANTASTIC!!!!!!

[The Dolorosa]

MINI GREENBUTT *Cracks up in laughter*

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

I was getting ready for school this morning (this isn't hard all I do is eat, grab my stuff, and brush my fur. What? I must look awesome!!!! That's how I get girls!!!!) and Purna came up to me. He had his big puppy dog eyes which meant he wanted something from me.
'What?' I said. Actually, I had a mouthful of toast so it came out 'Shnawaf?' Purna understood, having lived with me for all of his years and his puppy dog eyes seemed to expand in pathetic "Help-me-ness."
'I need some advice,' he said.
I swallowed some toast, and walked upstairs, Purna trotting behind. 'With what?'
'Girls,' said Purna, nervously scratching his ear.
'You want my help with girls?' I said, amused. 'Me? The evil brother of doom that'll bite your head off?'
'Yes!' said Purna. 'You've had three girlfriends, so I thought-'
'Woah-woah-woah hold that thought,' I said. 'Three girlfriends? I've only had two.'
'No, isn't Beauty your girlfriend?' asked Purna. 'You're always walking home with her, and you call her all the time.'
'She's not my girlfriend,' I said firmly. 'Anyway, why do you need my advice with girls? You're always tied up with Pastel.'
Purna's shoulders slumped. 'She's getting all distant. She doesn't talk to me as much anymore.'
'You never talk with her,' I said, pulling out my trusty fur comb as I walked into the bathroom. 'You're always kissing.'
'Whatever!' said Purna, his eyes flashing. 'I still need your help!'
I patted him on the head, making him blink with the force of each pat. 'That's for trying to nab a girl that's out of your league, Pur. She's two years older than you. Besides, all you did was kiss. You could do much better. I wish she did that with me. All we did was talk.'
Purna sighed heavily, and I decided to take pity. I'm not all mean. 'Look, you want her to like you more, maybe you're getting boring. Get eye-color-changing contacts! Try a new fur brushing style! Give her stuff! Make sure no one else looks better than you.'
Purna perked up. 'Thanks Xi!' He hugged me and ran back downstairs. I blinked. 'I have a weird weird life,' I muttered as I finished brushing and headed to school.
Anyway, I'm writing this in class, and class is about to start, so I should finish up.
Beauty keeps flashing me meaningful looks.
Agh what does it mean?!
I can't tell.
I need a dictionary, one that translates the looks girls give you.

See ya later noobcake.

[The Dolorosa]

Username:FlamingSnowpawz
Level of Lol (1 to 10):1.000.000.
Compliments:You are the most awesome person.EVER
Criticism:None,really
Other:*stalks you * Now I have become your personal stalker.Happy? x3

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

MRA HA HA HA HA OH JOY JOY JOY TO THE WORLD AND FA LA LA I'M SOOOOOOO HAPPPY DYEW DYEW DYEW HAPPY HAPPPYYYY!
Bet you're wondering what's got me excited, huh? I leaned over to Beauty in class and said, 'What do those looks mean?'
Beauty smiled (oh my gorsh have I mentioned how beautiful her smile is?!) and said, 'Shouldn't you have deciphered it by now?'
'I'm a guy. I'm stupid. So sue me,' I said.
She smiled again and said, 'I'll tell you at lunch. Don't want you imploding in class.'
So of course I was pretty much imploding during class, wondering what that meant.
At lunch Gothie started a food fight. It started with him flicking some mashed potatoes at my brother. I laughed, so of course Purna looked over and saw us laughing so he flung some food at us, but it missed and it hit Love. Love got all ticked so she threw something and my brother's friend Bubbles, and it all sort of snowballed.
Amid the confusion (which had Gothie sneaking into the kitchen to get a spaghetti strainer and using it at a helmet) Beauty tapped me on the shoulder. I nearly catapulted my forkful of broccoli at her and said, 'What?'
'Will you go out with me?' she asked.
Beauty was right. I did implode. I went into ultra-mega-shock and stared at her. She smiled and said, 'I'll take that as a yes,' and resumed eating. She was the only person that was not participating in the fight.
I smiled and was about to aim at my brother when a big wad of cold pasta hit me in the back of my head. I whipped around, and saw Beauty innocently eating the pasta she had brought for lunch. I rolled my eyes.
Lunch detention was enjoyable. Gothie was in it with us for starting the food fight. Purna tattle on him, is my guess.
Going home was awesome. Talked with Beauty, and laughed too.
How does Gothie get home so fast?!
Beauty gave me a kiss when I reached my house.
I'm all giddy.
hee hee hee hee
Then I remembered the problem at hand-I must find out how Gothie gets home so fast.

See ya Noobcake.

[dimond1818]

It gets better every time!!

[neonfrozen]

omg this is majorly halirious!