A Robot and a Killer Bird (Diary, please comment)

[Tyrannia]

Dear Diary....

Yes.... I am calling you Diary. Not calling you Diary--- would be silly. That is what you are. Like I am a Killer Bird. To call me something like--- Stan, would just be stupid. My name is Cuco.... not Stan.. So don't call me Stan. I'm glad we had this talk.

I suppose you are wondering what a fearsome killer bird like me wants with a diary..... That is a fair question... But I am not telling you. So shut up. I have more important things to rant about...

My personal appeaser, you may know her as Joe, betrayed me... She joined a site that I hated. It is called... Thick Liquid Made Out Of Duck.com... I was so mad... I tried to kill her... but she threatened to take away my Spork. I love my spork... it is a spork of doom. You can look, but touch and you will suffer a fate worse then mutilation... Appeaser and I then had a compromise. I am allowed to make a diary here.... and she is allowed to live. And that is my story... did you like it? Good... that is good...

I'm bored now.... I'm going to blowup personal appeaser's computer .... with cabbage...

---Cuco The Crazy Killer Bird of Doom

Personal Log Entry 1.0

Greetings Log. I am Beta, model 2.4. I am a home-constructed robot designed specifically to give honest and unbiased critique on my creators writing, and make sure she completes her projects on time.... It seems I am inadequate.

Anyway, I made this personal log to vent my feelings about Creator's... procrastination, my roommate, Cuco's, psychotic behavior, and the fact that though I was programmed to desire companionship, someone forgot to build me a beautiful robot bride! I fear if these emotions are not released, I shall suffer a nervous break-down and self-destruct.

First, my Creator, who for an unknown reason insists that her name is "LadyJoe" (Note: Perhaps her logic circuits are frying? Get those fixed, they'll have an effect on her work.) has not completed any of the projects I have scheduled for her. Every time I actually convince her to work on something, she gets distracted and starts typing something completely irrelevant! (I caught her starting a journal for one of her fictional characters the other day... I had a long talk with her about that. I think she got the message.) She has been trying to write a story that takes place, at least half of the time, in a western setting. Maybe if I forced her to sit down and watch some westerns she'll get some ideas.

My roommate is insane. He keeps telling me that I am not a goat, and offering to slaughter my enemies in my name to show his good will. I want out. Help?

Beta 2.4

[broker]

Oh my gosh. I love this. :D
Cuco! I wanna hug youuu!! :3

I tried to kill her... but she threatened to take away my Spork. I love my spork... it is a spork of doom. You can look, but touch and you will suffer a fate worse then mutilation...

I also want that spork, gimme.

Aww! Please write more. ^^