should i writte this on?

[Ice Flower]

will post the rest later

[xxxalksdfj]

Colette’s first step

As I enter the high school and into the gym I knew no one will ask me for a dance. I sat on my chair and started reading my twilight book as I was at the middle of my dreams. I saw a shadow on the floor it was a boy with a long wolf tail and two wolf ears, I looked to see a cute boy looking at me but there were no ears our tail, instead he had mixed hair and a brown jacket. I blushed looking down at my book.
“Care for a dance?”
“Maybe...MMM well yes” as I stood up when my black gown with white glitter swished in the air I had bought it for the Halloween dance. As We danced I did not look up I knew if I looked I would fall in love with those lovely eyes but I could not so I hopelessly looked up those eyes looked straight into my eyes I looked around me I was no longer in the gym I was standing in the middle of the forest


help sorry if i posted in the rong form

Right. I have a few comments and criticisms.

#1.' As I enter the high school and into the gym I knew no one will ask me for a dance.'. This sentence has two different tenses in it. Looking at the rest of your chapter, it's supposed to be in the past tense, so the sentence should be:
As I entered the high school and went into the gym I knew no one would ask me for a dance.

2. Well, I think this could be phrased in a much more interesting way, so I played about with your writing. Hope you don't mind! I stayed close to your original writing, but I rephrased some things and included a few extra sentences.

'I went over to a chair, sat down, and started reading my Twilight book. As I was in the middle of my daydreams; I saw a shadow on the floor in front of me. It was shaped like a boy with a long tail and two wolf ears. I looked up, fully expecting to see the mysterious owner of the shadow, but was surprised to see a cute boy staring at me instead. He was an ordinary kid my own age, a brunnete-haired guy dressed simply in jeans and a brown jacket. I quickly transferred my gaze back to my book, blushing furiously.
Five minutes later, I dared myself to glance up again. Still seeing him there, smiling at me ridiculously, I decided to give him a piece of my mind. "What do you want? If you're here to tease me for being a saddo not able to get a date you can just-"
“Care for a dance?”
I was gobsmacked. A dance? Was he being serious? I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
“Well...it's not like I'm going to get offered again, so yeah, I guess I would care for a dance...” I muttered shyly.
He gave that wolfish grin again. It made me feel oddly happy, knowing he was happy he had me for company.
As I got up, I stumbled over in my black heels, but he caught me mid-fall and I found myself staring into his eyes. Those chocolate-brown eyes. Come to think of it, my black dress probably made me trip over as well. It was one of those long, sleek ball-gowns, dusted with silver glitter strands. It looked eerily like something a witch might wear, if she was interested in spider webs. I had bought it especially for this, the Halloween dance, in hope I would be able to dance with someone in it.
He coughed. "So..."
"Collete," I replied.
He coughed again, and bowed down low, taking my hand as he did so. "So, my lovely Collete, shall we dance under the moon and the stars?" I giggled at that.
"I guess we shall!" I replied, secretly overjoyed.
As we danced I didn't look up, for fear of falling prey to those beautiful brown eyes, those dark pools of heaven...
Eventually, I couldn't resist the temptation anymore, and allowed myself to have what I had thought would be a quick smile at this mysterious boy, who charmed me in a way no other person had ever done. But it was never meant to be. The second I let my eyes meet his, I practically melted in his arms. The way he looked at me, I couldn't begin to describe it. After what seemed whole eras spent gazing into my eyes, I let my imagination run freely. I could tell he was doing the same. I slowly turned around with him and looked around me: I was no longer in the boring, naff old gym, I was standing in the middle of a forest clearing, surrounded by many flowers and wildlife. I looked at him, puzzled. I was about to ask him where were we when he silenced me with a soft, slow kiss. If I wasn't in love with him already, I certainly fell for him then. We broke apart. I still didn't know his name. As if reading my mind, he told me his name. He clutched me tighter to him and we span slowly in never ending circles,around and around, for an eternity...'

I know I played around with it a lot, but you could have written this and a lot more with the information you gave us. If you want to continue, I don't mind if you decide to use this edited paragraph. It's basically your work, rephrased and fleshed out a little.

My opinion: Great story idea, but not exactly using it to its full potential. Continue writing, but make sure you look over your work COMPLETELY and THOROUGHLY for any errors, particularly spelling errors, before you publish it.

Take it however you want, but that's my complete and honest opinion. Thank you for reading!

[Ice Flower]

yes i will change it and publish the rest i will use some of your ideas
thank you

[xxxalksdfj]

Happy to help