Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Crits Needed!!!

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Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Crits Needed!!!

Postby Removed » Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:04 am

Where I’m From

I’m from
Trying to pry all the itchy sand out wedged in my
too small swimsuit
after a day of fun in the sun
pointy shells
hiding beneath the moist sand of Jacksonville Beach

I’m from
Flinging my pink flip flop towards creepy Barbie-playing men
imrov class
retro
modern
brimming to the edge with hearty laughter
carefully placed on downtown’s bustling street


I’m from
Cold tears
Tumbling down my cheeks
Rolling into my ears
The hilarious video on the screen
Twisted
Blurry
With them
The friendship spiderweb stretches
But doesn’t break

I’m from
Going down the twisty slide first thing at
the “Big” Pool in Eagle Harbor
and Brookie Cookie always going off the High Dive
when I wouldn’t
I was a scaredy cat

I’m from
Stage lights
Dancing around me
Lights
Camera
Action
My heart sings for me



**any actual places mentioned aren't anywhere near where I live now

Comments and crits greatly appreciated!
Last edited by Removed on Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby Removed » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:08 am

Anyone?
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby Removed » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:18 pm

Up
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby East » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:22 pm

<3
I swear, do you go to my school?
We just did this assignment this week, and seeing as you just moved, I was wondering if you'd moved here.
But you'd have to be home right now during a school day if you were so..nyeh. But still <3
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby Removed » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:24 pm

Lol The only thing I'm gonna say online is that I live in Texas. :D But thanks! That is very coincidental.
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby East » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:25 pm

Sing A Song wrote:Lol The only thing I'm gonna say online is that I live in Texas. :D But thanks! That is very coincidental.

xD It is. Did you happen to do it for school?
~I'm in Okinawa, so..yea..lul.
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby Removed » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:26 pm

We are doing something like it in school and I built off of that. :3
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby East » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:28 pm

Ah x3 Yea, I go to a DoDEA school, and I thinkk here it's a requirement for my grade, since all of the english teachers are doing it. It helps us express and figure out where we come from without saying "where." We're kids of the military and move like every three years, so when a non-military kid goes "So, where are you from?" we don't really have an answer.
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby Removed » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:52 pm

xD My dad was like that as a kid. He moved every two years.

But yeah, I'm really glad you liked it. /end warm and fuzzy
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Re: Where I'm From ~ Poem ~ Come look!

Postby East » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:57 pm

Sing A Song wrote:xD My dad was like that as a kid. He moved every two years.

But yeah, I'm really glad you liked it. /end warm and fuzzy

Yes..I hate moving. Especially when we have to move out in town instead of on-base and I'm with the public schoolers. I make awesome friends, and then I leave D: I haven't had a best friend in like six years, lol.
Nonono, I like warm and fuzzy. It's warm. And fuzzy.
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