The Girl with Broken Eyes

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Which name suits my girl better?

Poll ended at Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:42 am

Icy (current name, my vote)
3
43%
Echo (also has my vote)
1
14%
Taylor (it's too normal)
0
No votes
Luna (luv it!)
0
No votes
Britney (it's okay)
0
No votes
Deenie (cute!)
0
No votes
Diana (best name EVER my vote)
1
14%
Jaya (nice)
0
No votes
Gwen (ehh, okay)
2
29%
Zasha (LOVE IT)
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 7

The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . » Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:08 pm

Okay, so this idea has been bugging me for a billion gajillion years, so I am spillin' it out!

Here's the start of chapter one:

Silence. It coated the air like a heavy mist, infecting the bearers of its poison without mercy. Silence was everywhere, whispering past the tree branches, under the floorboards that didn't creak, hiding in your heart when Death took over . . . But today, I thought, Silence will be with one girl. A girl who has black hair and and heartbroken eyes and dark, tanned skin. I smile cruelly, and slip away into the shadows, cold fingers reaching for my ultimate prize: the girl with broken eyes.

. . .

I glided across the land, eyes shut, as I gained speed. Finally, I slowed and turned a dark, quiet alley. I smiled and nestled myself into a corner, thinking. I bent the air and toned the voices. I was the wind whispering in your hair that caused awkward quiet . . . I was the one who solved the problem of the howling wolves in the dark of the night . . . I was Silence. I was cruel, mean, insignificant Silence. And I smiled as I waited for my old friend, Death, to come and claim the man with his rusty breath for his own. When Death finally arrived, I entwined the man, whispering memories away, kissing the heartbeat goodbye and causing all to be utterly, completely, still. Nothing stirred, and I removed my fingers from his heart, satisfied. "Conngratuulationzzzz . . ." I hissed softly, and blended away into the shadows without another sound.
Last edited by . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . on Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:19 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . » Sat Aug 06, 2011 2:51 pm

Sooooooooo, anyone likes?
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby DippyFresh » Sat Aug 06, 2011 3:04 pm

loves
Lookin' for chocolate milk ,dragons,3 tailed dogs,owls
Dobby's sock
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . » Sat Aug 06, 2011 3:06 pm

Thanks!
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . » Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:41 am

The train whistled and bumped over the tracks while Icy slept. Her head was on her mother's lap, and I can assure you, I was most definitely with them. The train began to slow, and the mother woke the girl. She yawned, then got up and shook her head to
"brush" her hair. Then the two stood, and began to get their luggage from the seats; a man behind them was having a lot of trouble with his suitcase. Icy sat back in her seat and waited for when they could leave, and she backed up to see out the window.
Snow coated the forest like a heavy blanket, but the village paths were cleared, and the shops and houses had lights up. A giant christmas tree stood in the center of town, and people were laughing as they each stung up family christmas items. A little girl smiled sadly as she put up a frame that said R.I.P. with a picture of a puppy inside, tongue lolling. Icy grinned, and watched as a man argued with his friends about something. She was beginning to watch a poor shopkeeper, when all of a sudden she heard two screams and felt something wet splatter across my back. A man and a woman, from the sounds, were screaming, when the woman stopped abruptly. Icy whirled around and let out a scream of her own.
"Mama!" she shouted and sat there, eyes wide and glazed over. I reached my fingers for the mother while Death glided over her . . . The train was definitely not silent anymore. The man that had had trouble had accidentally whammed his suitcase into the back of the crouching woman's neck and severed it. She barely had time to scream before she died. Icy sobbed, the man sobbed, but Death and I worked without a whisper.
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . » Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:43 am

That was also just a part of chapter one.
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby Total » Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:00 am

I like the story.
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . » Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:13 am

Thank you! I'll add some more in a minute.
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby TSF11 » Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:38 am

That is so good! :) Check out my story:
viewtopic.php?f=57&t=706801
Hope you like it!
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Re: The Girl with Broken Eyes

Postby . ѕℰℰιиg . тнιиgѕ . » Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:09 am

Thanks. I liked your, I commented!
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