I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

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Poll ended at Fri Aug 05, 2011 5:28 pm

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I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby .:Adelaide:. » Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:28 pm

OK So the title is a work in progress but I might keep it. This story is about Atlantis (Not the place this is her name). I don't want to reveal way too much about her but she does have a strange story to tell. I had the thought of this pop into my head one night and all I really have completed is the first paragraph, but I thought that if I started it Atlantis would take it and run with it. She does that a lot on paper so why not online? :) ENJOY!

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Chapter 1

I gripped the mug in my hand like a lifeline. I didn't even know the the warm, brown, sweet-smelling liquid inside it tasted like yet. All I knew was that it was warm. I hadn't felt anything this warm in... In... Since I can remember. I risked a drink of the brown liquid and a sweet taste instantly filled my mouth. Along with the sweetness a warmth filled my body that I hadn't felt in years. I started drinking as much as I could hold, hoping that the warmth would stay with me when it came time to leave. Suddenly a voice on my right almost scared me to death.

"Slow down sweetheart! Your gonna choke!" The chubby lady who had given me the drink was smiling down at me again. I hadn't said a word to her so far. Well, nothing I can remember at least. But she didn't seem to care. I reluctantly lowered the cup from my lips but I didn't set it down. It was way to precious. I swallowed the bit that was still in my mouth and croaked out, "Sorry." I had learned bits and pieces of different languages but English was the hardest for me.

"What is your name honey?" The lady asked, refilling my cup.

"A-Atlantis," I choked out the name slowly. It seemed old and rusty. I almost never had a reason to use it but that was me, Atlantis. I hated the repulsive name. Who would name me Atlantis? I had considered changing it but I never had a reason for a name before so why change it? I jumped as the old lady spoke again. I was fine understanding her but her high-pitched voice scared me when I wasn't concentrating on her.

"Atlantis! What a pretty name. You must love it. You can call me Nanny Rose. Now you must be hungry?" She never stopped smiling and she had said that she liked my name. What was wrong with this lady?!

I nodded and replied, "Hungry? Yes, much hungry." She was immediately up and walking into the "Food Room" as I had come to call it. She came out quickly with a plate full of... Goop? That was surely what it looked like. Maybe it was mud? No. It was yellow not brown. In my whole life of traveling I had never seen yellow mud. I tried asking her what it was, "Why, why is this?" No. That was wrong. I knew it started with that "Wuuh" sound but I couldn't pinpoint the exact word.

It didn't matter. Nanny Rose understood, "It is called Macaroni and Cheese. It's good try it." I studied her to see if she was lying to me. Plenty had in the past. She seemed to be honest so I carefully took a glob in my hands and ate it. It was delicious, and warm, but everything here was warm, or, so it seemed. I let out a contented sigh and getting even more used to her told her, "You thank."



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Chapter 2
I laid under the warm leaves - at least, they looked like leaves- sulking. Nanny Rose just didn't understand! I couldn't stay here! She would be in way to much danger. I considered running away tonight but Nanny Rose was still up bustling around the warm room and I would have to wait until I was sure she was asleep until I could even crawl out of bed. Then an idea popped into my head. I jumped up throwing off the warm covers and rushing into the room. I wouldn't be able to bring all my belongings with this plan but this way I would know that Nanny Rose was safe despite it all.

When I noticed Nanny Rose looking at me I wracked my brain for the correct English word. "Badkamer" Was the word that came out and even though I knew that was wrong Nanny Rose understood nonetheless. "You need to use the bathroom?" She asked me eagerly. "And to think that I thought all those years of taking Dutch in school would never help me!" I didn't understand the last part but I was already at the door fiddling with the lock. Nanny Rose was suddenly behind me pulling me away from the door. "Oh, no, honey the bathroom's not out there. At least not anymore for you!" She pulled me through the warm room and down a hall to another room. I had very rarely seen rooms like this before mostly I went outside. Well that plan had failed. I went back to my room after convincing Nanny Rose that I didn't need to go anymore and shut the door. I crawled back under the giant leaves. Why wouldn't she just let me go?

I was suddenly woken by the sun shining through a odd shaped hole in the wall. I sat up quickly and rushed into the warm room hoping that Nanny Rose was still asleep. My dreams where crushed when she came out of the door with more food in her hands.

"Atlantis!" She said happily, grinning from ear to ear. "Are you hungry? I just made oatmeal!" She said holding out a container full of, "Mud." I corrected her. This time I was sure. I was the same creamy brown color of mud and everything.

Nanny Rose still refused, "Oh. No it isn't! Now try it!" The shiny stick with a circle at the end was in my mouth before I could protest again. "Another warm thing," was the first thing that went through my mind as the so-called oatmeal went in my mouth. Then the sweet taste burst in and filled me with happiness. I sat down with the container in my lap as Nanny Rose fussed over me. I watched her carefully as she bustled around me. She had grey hair and bright blue eyes that sparkled when she smiled. But then again they could sparkle all the time. She was always smiling so I didn't really know for sure yet. Suddenly she was talking again, "Oh honey your hair!" She said taking hold of a handful of my dark brown hair. I was confused, what was wrong with my hair? "Wh- what?" There's the word I was looking for last night! I was still eating away at the oatmeal but she suddenly took it away from me. I whined, upset that she had taken it. "Your going to make yourself sick eating like that!" She scolded me firmly. "And as for your hair," She added. "It's a tangled mess. When was your last cleaning?" She asked studying it concernedly. I shrugged. I didn't keep track of time. I just took life day by day. I wasn't even sure how many days where in a week for heaven's sake! Nanny Rose immediately whisked me off to the room that she called the "Bathroom". Before I really knew what was going on my hair was wet, there where smell-good-things put in it, and was being dried by another strange leaf.

Apparently I had been cleaned and dressed properly. Nanny Rose and I where finally sitting back in the warm room next to each other. She looked at me with a sad emotion on her face and asked me, "No matter how long it takes for you to tell me. I want to know why you wanted to leave so badly last night. I will help you talk as much as I can!"


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Chapter 3
I wouldn't talk to her about why I had wanted to leave so bad but a little of my past wouldn't hurt. I nodded and told her, "No mom, no dad. No... no..." I didn't know the word.

Nanny rose tried to help, "Um, sisters? Brothers? Cousins?" I shrugged. I didn't know. I had never heard any of those words.

I continued, "Live on my own for life. Escaped, ran, stole." I told her the truth about everything. What was the point in lying? If she took me to "Prison" as I'd heard it called then I would escape again. I'd done it three times already.

Nanny Rose looked at me, worried. "Escaped from where? Ran from what?" I didn't understand how she couldn't already know. What everyone else did. "Everywhere. Everyperson." I responded crossly. I shook off the feeling though. Nanny Rose obviously had never had to run from anyone and that made me happy. No one should ever chase her, or I'd be sure to get rid of them.

"Siblings!" I shouted suddenly. Nanny Rose looked shocked, "Siblings Sweetheart?"

"No Siblings." I told her. There was that word but even as I said it I knew that it was a lie. I'd had a girl sibling before. Amelia. That was her name. "No. One sibling." I corrected myself. I got up suddenly, running into the room with the giant leaves in it. I grabbed my worn bag and brought it out to her. I tugged the top of it open and pulled out a scrap of paper, giving it to her. "Amelia." I told her pointing at the girl on the sheet.





{{TO BE CONTINUED! XD}}

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OK so as the poll I held told me that you guys wanted Character Descriptions I will make some. BUT I will NOT make one for Atlantis. Even I don't know her that well yet! :) OH! And this will be updated as more characters are revealed! (Trust me. There WILL be more characters!) And I will also not add personality as that is hard for me to tell except THROUGH them.
Character Descriptions!

Name: Nanny Rose
Age: 50-60 (She's not sure herself! XD)
Looks: She has Silky grey hair that is normally in a bun. She has to wear glasses to read and she has green-blue eyes. She normally wears a dress around the house but will put on pants to work in the garden/do the laundry/stuff like that.
Extra? Is a WONDERFUL cook!
Last edited by .:Adelaide:. on Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:24 pm, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby Squid-a-roni » Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:29 pm

I love this alot it sounds wonderful i shall stalk you
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby .:Adelaide:. » Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:35 pm

Woah! My first Stalker! I is so excited! I can't wait to finish the first chapter. I'm surprised with what I have already but I guess I'll have time to sort out my thoughts during my camping trip tomorrow! ((And because of it you will have to wait until Friday for more! :) ))
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby .:Adelaide:. » Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:35 pm

OK! I finished the first chapter and I will start the second chapter when I get back! :)
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby Squid-a-roni » Sat Jul 30, 2011 4:36 pm

okay
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby .:Adelaide:. » Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:06 pm

Yay! Second chapter started! I will add more tomorrow and hopefully get some of Atlantis's history across as well.
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby Squid-a-roni » Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:24 pm

amazing
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby kingbellamy » Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:17 pm

I like it so far
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby .:Adelaide:. » Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:21 pm

Thank you both! I am having fun writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it! :)
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Re: I Could Have Done Better. I Guess.

Postby Marian5390 » Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:34 pm

This story is awesome! Write more, please! *stalking*
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