Little Bits~

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

Little Bits~

Postby Foi » Sat Mar 12, 2011 11:35 am

Little Bits~
Welcome to my "Little Bits" thread.
I'll be posting short stories, well not even stories really.
I'm basically just practicing my writing.
You may enjoy it, who knows?
Critique is welcome, as well as comments.
Thank you,
~Fool

Pieces so far:
♥Chris
♥I'm Sorry...
♥Skulls and Bones
♥RIP Abby
♥Watermelons after school
♥Abandoned

Comments:
Love~Me~Forever wrote:Aaaahhh, so sad! Very good writing though ^^

GraceyGrace wrote:This is really good- please write another piece!!!

Thanks heaps you guys, it means a lot. c:
Last edited by Foi on Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:50 pm, edited 7 times in total.
no longer very active~
User avatar
Foi
 
Posts: 1849
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:44 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby Foi » Sat Mar 12, 2011 11:37 am

Chris looked at Dante. Was he really cheating on her, with her best friend? He stared back at her, a look of pure misery on his face. He walked up to her and opened his mouth to speak but Chris interrupted.
“How could you?” She screamed at him. He looked down, unable to return his gaze. “I thought you loved me!”
“Chris...” Dante trailed off. Red appeared, Chris’s new best friend.
“Come on, Chris.” Red said, as she shot a hateful glare at Dante. Chris broke down and fell to her knees. She cried and cried, her eyes stinging from all of the tears leaking from them. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed into them. Then she looked up at Dante with such sadness that Dante turned around, unable to bear looking at Chris’s tear-stained face. She looked like an innocent five year old, who’s first pet had just died. She stood up as tears continued to stream down her cheeks. She was a mess.
“How could you...” she whispered one last time before she turned away. A lump rose in Dante’s throat as he watched her go. Pain tore at his chest. Chris felt the same way. She felt as if he had taken her heart, ripped it into shreds and given it back to her. This was all of his fault. And Jess’s, her old best friend, the girl who Dante had cheated on her with.

The next day at school Chris turned away from Dante whenever she saw him, she hid her face behind her hair, and didn’t look at him. Jess ran over to Chris and started apologizing.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“Go away!” Chris interrupted. “I hate you! You were never a friend! I never want to see you again! Not as long as I live!”
“I’m sorry!” Jess cried.
“You stole him! You took him from me!” Chris yelled.
“It’s not fair!” Jess half yelled, half cried. “I liked him too! I loved him as well! You just had him first! I had always liked him, but you got around to asking him out before me! It’s not fair!”
"Life's not fair!" Chris Yelled.
"It is for you!" And with that Jess ran away.

The days passed and Dante continued looking at Chris with sorrow filled eyes. Chris refused to look back at him, because whenever she did, she would burst into tears. She wouldn't talk to Jess either, Red was the only one who existed to her right now. And forever.


First piece. ^^ Do you like it?
no longer very active~
User avatar
Foi
 
Posts: 1849
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:44 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby Foi » Sat Mar 12, 2011 11:59 am

Has some violence/gore, but nothing too bad, I assure you.
Here's my next piece:
Toxic gazed up at her brother.

How could he?

He raised a paw.

After all these years?

He swiped at her face, leaving a gash that blood flowed like a river out of.

Would he really do it?

Toxic lashed out, curling her lip and snapping at his throat.

Stain’s my brother!

She missed and fell onto the floor.

I can’t hurt him!

Stain snatched Toxic up in his jaws.

No, Stain, don’t do it!


He flung her across the street.

He really has changed.

She hit a concrete wall and felt her ribs snap.

He’s going to.

Stain stalked over to her, glaring furiously.

This is the end.

He jumped on her and bit into her throat.

Goodbye.

With a twist Stain snapped Toxic’s neck.

I forgive you, my brother...

Stain looked up at the concrete wall, blood dripping from his mouth. Then the shocking realization of what he’d done hit him.

“No! No, no, no, no, no! You’re not dead! I didn’t kill you!” he wailed.

Toxic lay limp on the ground, a bundle of green and black fur, now with a new color mixed in. Red. It was her blood. She was gone.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Stain buried his nose in his dead sister’s fur. “Good bye, Toxic.”
no longer very active~
User avatar
Foi
 
Posts: 1849
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:44 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby ZombiePoodle » Sat Mar 12, 2011 12:11 pm

Aaaahhh, so sad! Very good writing thought ^^
User avatar
ZombiePoodle
 
Posts: 5250
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:16 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby Foi » Sat Mar 12, 2011 12:16 pm

Thank you, I really appreciate it! Especially from you, as you're quite the writer yourself. c;
no longer very active~
User avatar
Foi
 
Posts: 1849
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:44 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby ZombiePoodle » Sat Mar 12, 2011 12:17 pm

Awww thanks ^^
User avatar
ZombiePoodle
 
Posts: 5250
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:16 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby Foi » Sat Mar 12, 2011 12:21 pm

No problem! ;D And they are supposed to be sad, I love writing sad stories... c:
no longer very active~
User avatar
Foi
 
Posts: 1849
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:44 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby Foi » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:22 pm

My third piece. c: It's not really a piece, but it's still practice.
It's my fursona, Alren's story.
It's how she got the permanent skull on her head and how she got all of the bones sticking out. ^^
Alren ran after the rabbit, never losing sight of the rabbits small white tail bobbing through the bush. She sprang out at it, claws unsheathed. Instead of her claws sinking into the rabbits soft white rump, she dug her claws into another wolves silver pelt. The other wolf shrieked and spun around. It was male.


“Do you have a problem?” He growled.
“Besides the fact that you just ruined my hunt?” Alren snarled, shaking out her black pelt.
“That was my rabbit.” He replied.
“I had it first!” Alren shrieked.
“Says who?” The mysterious wolf snarled.
“Me.” Alren growled.
“Really?” The wolf asked tauntingly.
“How dare you?” Alren shrieked. She lunged at the wolf, but he easily dodged and slammed her into the ground.
“Hey, you’re pretty funny. Now show me what you’ve got.” The wolf barked. Alren charged towards him and bit into his ear. It ripped right down, so he raked his claws down her ear. They sliced two neat lines in her left ear. She whimpered and leapt back.
“You can have it then. It’s gone anyway.” Alren said as she stalked off.

She heard paw prints behind her and she whirled around. “What do you want?” She screeched with such fury that the wolf shrank back a little. He tossed a rabbit at her paws. She stared at him in astonishment.
“For you.” He barked.
“Er, thanks.” Alren replied. She picked it up and continued to her cave. He followed her, so she decided to test something. She ran to her cave and went inside. She turned around and the wolf was gone. Alren sighed in relief and started to turn when she saw a flash of silver. The wolf padded out of the undergrowth and smiled at her. “Are you following me?” she asked.
“Maybe.” He replied menacingly. Alren rolled her eyes and curled up in the corner of her cave. She quickly ate the rabbit and rested her head on the ground. She felt fur brush against hers and heard the other wolf curl up by her. She sighed and drifted off to sleep.

When she woke she saw the mysterious wolf still curled up, asleep. She prodded him with one paw. He woke, startled and jumped to his feet. When he looked around and only saw Alren, he relaxed.
“What are you doing, sleeping in my cave?” Alren asked.
“Dunno.” The wolf shrugged.
“What’s your name?” She asked.
“Zane. Yours?” Zane asked.
“Alren.” Alren replied.
“Alren... What are you doing here?” Asked Zane.
“It’s where I live. And if you’re planning on staying, you’re going to have to hunt for yourself.” Alren told Zane.
“I’m perfectly capable of doing that. And does that mean I can stay?” Zane asked, his eyes gleaming.
Alren nodded and stalked off.

She sniffed the air. Trees, ferns, and... Raccoon! Oh, that’d make a tasty meal, Alren thought. She tracked it down by scent and saw it. It was on the ground, nibbling on a nut. Alren dropped into a crouch and crept forward. She pounced, but, like yesterday, got a mouthful of silver fur. She lay on the ground, stunned for a while. Then she jumped up and spun around.
“Zane!” She barked.
“I had it!” Zane growled.
“Why do you have to keep trying to kill my prey?” She asked.
“It’s not my fault!” Zane mumbled as he stalked away.

Alren ended up catching two mice, and a squirrel. She got back to her cave and gulped down her food. Zane got back with the raccoon they had seen earlier and ate that.

A few months went by, and Zane had become Alren’s best friend. More than friends. They were in love.

Alren got home with a nice big fat juicy hare and dropped it on the ground. Zane shared it with her, and they wolfed it down. Alren saw that Zane had a small piece of meat of the side of his mouth and licked it off. She laughed and lay down. Soon it would be winter, and they would have to be prepared. Zane licked Alren between the ears and lay down next to her. Suddenly there was thumping on the ground. Alren and Zane shot up at the same time and looked toward the entrance. It was a bear.

The bear stormed into the cave and cornered Alren. She lunged at it, but when she was in mid air, it slammed her down with it’s monster of a paw. The whimpered and wheezed, as all of the air was forced out of her. Zane jumped on it’s back and ripped with his teeth and claws. The bear whirled around, throwing Zane off it’s back. It reared up and stood on two paws. Then it’s front paws slammed down on Zane’s side, crushing his ribs. Killing him. Alren got up, and realized that there was six sharp bones were sticking out of her skin, three on her neck, three on her rump. There was blood on her shoulder from where the bone had been crushed. She had blood streaming from her cheeks, and the scars on her ear started to sting.

She screeched and charged towards the bear. She ripped one of it’s eyes out and raked her claws down it’s spine. It howled in pain and started to run away. Alren sprang onto its chest and ripped at it. Eventually she got deep enough and ripped out it’s heart, avenging her mate. It fell onto the ground with a huge thump. Alren stood over the bear and howled in triumph. Then she spun around and ran to Zane. He was limp. She nuzzled his cheek and licked between his ear before curling up by him and falling asleep. She stayed like that for weeks, but eventually she needed food. She limped weakly out of the cave.

She ended up catching twelve small mice. She gobbled them up then lay by Zane’s dead body. She went back to sleep and stayed like that for a few more weeks. Zane’s skin was all nearly gone, and he was basically just a skeleton. She got up and hunted again and got about the same amount as last time. She ate it and then ripped Zane’s skull off. She ripped the jaw off and put it on her head.

She stayed like that forever, six bones sticking out of her skin, and the skull on her head. Somehow the skull formed on her head, and she can no longer get it off. The skull also formed around her eyes, so now it looks like she was born with it. The has the permanent markings of blood down her cheeks, so there is blood coming from under the skull. She still has a crushed shoulder with blood coming from it, so she limps her way around. Alren is rarely seen, and often shy’s away. Then one girl came along...

That one girl is ME. c: Even though I made Alren up, in this story I found her. ^^
no longer very active~
User avatar
Foi
 
Posts: 1849
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:44 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby ZombiePoodle » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:57 pm

Ahmaigawd. You and your depressing sadness! LOL
Just kidding. Very awesome ^^
I think your sad stories might be brushing off on me, I wrote a zombie poem for FUN. xD
User avatar
ZombiePoodle
 
Posts: 5250
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:16 am
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Re: Little Bits~

Postby Foi » Sat Mar 12, 2011 3:18 pm

Lol! xD I love gory stories, maybe the all the horror movies I've seen (like 500) have an effect on my brain. x3
Yeah, all the serious stories I write have at least one sad part.
Either that, or they are horror comedies. cx
no longer very active~
User avatar
Foi
 
Posts: 1849
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:44 pm
My pets
My items
My wishlist
My gallery
My scenes
My dressups
Trade with me

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest