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man... i love this album.
when the album first came out, i was actually dealing with a breakup. like maybe, a week or a few days after it? idk, it just felt like it came at the right time so soon, so fast, so quick. and it was literally... perfect. amazing. i heard myself within her lyrics.
i didn't hear each song clearly when i first listened to it - it's like one of those times where you like, when you first listen to an album, you don't quite hear everything and some sounds blend into each other. it was kinda like that. but it was still a nice bop. i didn't really expect much - i saw "imagine" and thought oh my god, yes, perfect because imagine had been released before (as a single? i didn't really pay attention to music terms then) and i also loved that song. and also related to it from a relationship sort of perspective; i hadn't broken up yet, but man oh man, i heard myself in those lyrics too. i really did. it was a beautiful song already, but it hit real close to home when i listened a bit harder.
so yeah, i'm just vibing and bopping until i get to... in my head. and oh my god. my world turns upside down. the way she sings the chorus, i heard it, i heard it. i heard the pain and the sorrows that she and i went through in our relationship(s). just from the way the song sounds, i heard myself in it. i heard the pain of my relationship in it. to this day, in my head is still one of my favourite songs from that album. it's just... everything i could've asked for and more. it's amazing. i love her vocals, especially the chorus.
i later realised that y'know what, i don't really relate to everything in the lyrics. i thought my relationship was exactly like what i heard, that i thought of my partner as some holy angel who should do no wrong. and that's true, my image of my then-girlfriend was shattered when i realised she wasn't who i wanted her to be. but another part of the pain of that relationship was that i never forgave her, i held her up to that mistake and then... i was only bitter. i was so bitter. i only saw her for that, and my mind got so, so confused. i tried to communicate, but we were both young and didn't what to do. finally, we broke up, at last. but i guess, in my head still strikes a chord in me. i've grown up from all that turmoil now. but i shouldn't deny that it held me in the palm of its hand as soon as i heard the first note.
i then got to listening to the rest of the album, came to know the other songs a bit more. i never really looked up the lyrics and the interpretation too deeply, i just listened to it, read the lyrics a couple times and have a vague idea of what each of the songs are about. but yes, i can name every song on that album. it's not that hard for me (or hard in general, isn't it?).
small added edit: there are a few songs i feel iffy about. 7 rings and break up with your girlfriend were disappointments for me since musically, there wasn't much in those songs. and i wasn't really a big fan of the lyrics. i'm sure they're both great for ari - this entire album feels like it was a raw product of who ari is and how she expresses herself - but i'm not a retail therapy person, and break up with your girlfriend is not really my vibe. if i interpret the music video as self-love, it's actually a lot more clever, but i did listen to the lyrics very literally first time around ๐
point is, loved the album and held such a deep personal connection to me. got me up and down through my breakup hours. probably made me feel worse at times but you know what, i don't care that that's happened. this album still gave me a voice for my pain, it still give me a sound for what i felt and i felt heard. it did that for me then, and i'm still so grateful for it now.
thank you, ariana grande, for putting a song to what i felt. you saved little 2019 me.
4/5